Friday, November 30, 2007

Supply-Side Jesus


I have to admit: this video makes me uncomfortable.

One of the ironies of human life is that greed and wealth are inherently at odds with Christian teaching, but it is only greed which creates wealth and only wealth that can give to the poor. Capitalism, as an economic system, does the most good for the most number of people, but is predicated on unChristian premises. I know of no resolution to this dilemma.

The Wesleyan solution is to earn all you can so that you can give all you can, but is not poverty greater where there is no capital investment?

Would a society where people did not invest their excess money but gave it away have more or less poverty?

Hmm. I need to ruminate over this some more.

Hat tip: Richard Hall

Methodist Pick-Up Lines


  • Baby, you make me feel strangely warmed.

  • I second and refer your motion to the subcommittee of my heart.

  • You send a charge through my conference.

  • And Can It Be that you're single?

  • That Book of Resolutions looks heavy. May I carry it for you?

  • You're the best-looking dish at this potluck.

  • When I look into your eyes, I sense that we are in Full Connection.
Add your own in the comments.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Caption Contest

Previous contest winners

WINNERS:

Gord: no matter how quickly they moved the shells people always seemed to know which one the pope was under.

Oloryn: No matter how often they change the beanie, it still doesn't prevent "beanie hair".

Jeff the Baptist: I bet this will fetch me a bundle on eBay!

Don't Get Caught


Via Bits & Pieces

Pastoral Reading Habits

Allan Bevere has an excellent post about the importance of pastors engaging in regular study in order to be effective, particularly in the pulpit:

Not only is it critical to take sufficient sermon preparation time each week, the pastor needs to read and study on a daily basis. At any one time I am reading four different books-- one in theology, one in biblical studies, one in pastoral ministry, and a final book in a miscellaneous area (American history, politics, etc.). I also make sure that I read authors with whom I know I am going to have major disagreements. It is all too easy for us to read those writers who confirm our beliefs rather than challenge them. If the pastor is not engaging with the profound theology of the ages and the wisdom of others, he or she will not preach engaging sermons. Church folk with any depth of faith can spot a shallow preacher from a mile away.

What are your reading habits?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Congressional Investigation of Televangelists

Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa), senior Republican on the U.S. Senate Finance Committee, is investigating the financial procedures of six leading televangelists: Benny Hinn, Joyce Meyer, Kenneth Copeland, Paula White, Eddie Long, and Creflo Dollar. He sent a letter each of the ministers asking detailed questions about how donations are used to support their extravagant lifestyles.

Grassley's investigation is welcomed by some pundits as an opportunity to crack down on financial abuse by these ministers, but questioned by others as a violation of First Amendment protections of religious organizations.


What do you think? Should Grassley's investigation proceed?

[cross-posted]

Monday, November 26, 2007

Mob Prank


Hat tip: Worship Leader Ron

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Doping Scandal Sends Shockwaves Through United Methodist Candidacy Process

Chicago, IL – Bishop Hee-Soo Jung responded with “no comment” to reporters’ questions as he exited the conference offices of the Northern Illinois Annual Conference. Last week, three of his conference’s candidates for the ordained ministry tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs, including anabolic steroids.

“It’s an epidemic,” claimed Rev. Mark Winter of the Central Texas Annual Conference in a telephone interview yesterday. “Desperate to complete a grueling and highly competitive process, from certification to ordination, many candidates for the ordained ministry are resorting to any means necessary to stay on top.”

One such candidate from the Mississippi Annual Conference, who spoke to us under the condition of anonymity, said “You can’t make it past BOOM interviews unless you’re tougher, stronger, and faster than the next guy.

“We’re all taking ‘roids. BOOM knows it. Shoot, my candidacy mentor told me where to go for them,” he said emphatically.

Although the use of such drugs was whispered about within the United Methodist Church for years, news coverage and open discussion only began after the 2004 hospitalization of Andy Bryan of the Missouri Annual Conference after an overdose of tetrahydrogestrinone.

This was followed by the controversial ordination of Rev. Beth Quick of the North Central New York Annual Conference, who won the posedown round at the Board of Ordained Ministry in 2005 after gaining nine pounds of muscle mass in a single year. Quick was voted into full connection by that Conference’s clergy session by a three-vote margin.

Since then, eighteen Annual Conferences have moved to require drug testing for candidates before appearing before their Boards of Ordained Ministry.

“It doesn’t help at all,” the anonymous Mississippi candidate responded when asked about the new testing regulations. “Candidates just stop taking six weeks before their BOOM appearance and let the ‘roids wash out of their bloodstream in time for the test. Then they start again. It’s not going away so as long as the ordination industry profits from having the biggest, beefiest candidates in the world.”

Wesleyan Aesthetics

Philip Yancey:

I finished Wesley's Journal impressed with his physical endurance, his austere lifestyle, and his absolute devotion to the clusters of believers springing up all over Britain. But I could not help noting Wesley's lack of appreciation for the beauties and cultural riches that abound in that island nation.

Gazing at a lovely flower garden, he quickly demurred, "What can delight always but the knowledge and love of God?" He toured one of England's historic great houses and noted, "How little a time will it be before the house itself, yea, the earth shall be burned up!" And after marveling at the talents of a blind organist he added, "But what is he the better for all this, if he is still 'without God in the world'?"

Even the British Museum failed to make an impression. After remarking on its collections, Wesley wrote, "But what account will a man give to the judge of the quick and dead for a life spent in collecting all these?"

In short, Wesley viewed the common graces of beauty and culture with an attitude approaching disdain. More than once I wrote in the margin, "Lighten up, John!" (But by the standards of ascetics who lived atop poles and ate only bread and water, John Wesley himself was an aesthete.)

I've got to admit, Wesley had a point. So does Yancey. I'm not sure where is the balancing point between these two conflicting values. Further thoughts here.

Hat tip to Jay Voorhees at the Methoblog.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Film Review: Shaun of the Dead

Shaun of the Dead is a documentary about one group of survivors from a 2004 zombie uprising in London. It features high-quality footage from the flight of several Britons through their zombie-infested neighborhood for a full day before rescue.

Their leader, Shaun, displayed the core characteristics of a zombie-attack survivor: planning, watchfulness, and aggression. Alone among his companions, Shaun realized the gravity of the situation and responded with a thoughtful plan to lead them to safety. He was (partially) successful in large part due to his ferocious swinging of a cricket bat at the heads of approaching undead. He demonstrates a remarkable ability to improvise in challenging and changing combat situations.

Shaun's thoughtfulness is contrasted with other people caught on camera refusing to take the threat seriously, and consequently failing to survive.

People preparing for a zombie attack would be well-advised to watch this film to examine what works and what doesn't in an undead crisis.

"I'm William Shatner, and I'm a shaman."

Funny new World of Warcraft commercials will William Shatner and Mr. T.

Hat tip: Insty

The Pastor As Blogger

Mark D. Roberts made an interesting speech about the pastoral role and blogging. The audio is here. A text summary of his speech is here.


Hat tip to Digital Leadnet via Andrew Conard.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Georgia Baptist Convention Bans Blogging

Good luck with that. Let me know how it works out.

Poll

Well?!
It was that way when I got here.
I thought that you'd be a little more open minded to this sort of thing.
Don't worry -- it's not contagious. Well, not by air at least.
Hey, you once told me that you wanted a tattoo.
Gavin said that you'd be okay with this.
Try to think of it as outsider art.
  
pollcode.com free polls

Caption Contest


Picture via Fanboy

Previous contest winner

WINNERS:

Mark Winter: In Spock We Trust...all others must pay latinum.

Oloryn: You laugh, but Kirk is on on the face of the nickel, dime, and quarter.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Question of the Day

Should a pastor know how much money specific members are giving to the church?

[cross-posted]

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

John the Methodist Facts

Jeff the Baptist says that he's tired of the pop culture phenomenon of Chuck Norris Facts. That's understandable -- they've been around for a while. Let's try something newer and, shall we say, more menacing: John the Methodist Facts.
  • When John the Methodist first appeared before the Board of Ordained Ministry, they ordained him. Twice.
  • John the Methodist once preached the Book of Obadiah, verse by verse, for a year.
  • John the Methodist can belch the tune to And Can It Be.
  • The Commander of the Lord's Army refers to John the Methodist as "Sir".

Add your own John the Methodist Facts in the comments.

This Reminds Me of Annual Conference in So Many Ways

Rabbit Adopts Abandoned Litter of Kittens


Story and pictures here.

Hat tip: Neatorama

Child Support

I have been thinking about children's ministry some lately.

On Sunday morning, we had 107 shoeboxes that had been packed and wrapped for Operation Christmas Child and placed around our communion table. I asked the people of the congregation to each take one at the end of the service and move it to the church entryway so they could be loaded into a member's truck to be delivered. What I saw amazed me - many people took boxes and helped move them, but several of the younger boys really got into helping load the truck with enthusiasm and joy. I didn't plan for it to be a tool of engaging the boys in the church in something meaningful - just kind of happened that way (grace?!)

With the general imbalance in today's church between adult men and women, I had a glimmer of hope in watching the boys enjoy what they were doing. I would love to hear ideas about how to specifically minister to boys? Any success stories out there?

Monday, November 19, 2007

Methodist Blogger Profile: Robin Russell

Robin Russell of UM Reporter Blog

I live in Dallas with my husband, son and our two Chihuahuas, Bob and Bunny, but am not from around these parts. I hail from Milwaukee, Wis., but have lived in Texas most of my adult life.

Thinking my life would be more gratifying if I could help change the world instead of earn big bucks, I earned a journalism degree from the University of Wisconsin.

I’m not a United Methodist, but I play one in my day-job as managing editor of the United Methodist Reporter, a national, weekly, independent newspaper.

If anything would persuade me to become a Methodist, it would be Charles Wesley’s glorious hymns and the denomination’s British roots (I’m such an Anglophile). But I think I’d find it hard to invest in the excruciating minutia of United Methodism. I’m already fairly Wesleyan as far as grace theology and being in covenant with my church “life group,” which I co-lead with my husband.

Why do you blog?
I blog as a way to engage readers in “the rest of the story” and to share my thoughts and feelings on some news event or personal experience. It’s a more personal way to connect. And sometimes, it’s the quickest quick way to get the word out on some breaking news.

What has been your best blogging experience?
Anytime someone posts a comment! What a great feeling it is when someone I don’t even know feels compelled to respond.

What would be your main advice to a novice blogger?
Read some of the best bloggers out there and then decide if there’s really a reason why you should blog. It’s a time-consuming “hobby,” so having a focus/reason will help motivate you to maintain the discipline of writing.

If you only had time to read three blogs a day, what would they be?
I read GetReligion.org’s critiques of religion coverage in mainstream media, the Dallas Morning News religion blog for the latest religion news across the board, and Locusts and Honey for the scoop on what Methobloggers are buzzing about—as well as the unexpected bonus of some really great art and laugh-out-loud humor.

Who are your spiritual heroes?
The usual suspects: the apostle Paul (how did that man keep persevering?), John Wesley (for his genius in small-group accountability and graciousness in preaching to the masses) and Dietrich Bonhoeffer (for modeling a costly obedience). Oh, and also my husband, Art, for his enthusiastic and unswerving devotion to people. He’s so engaging, witty and kind, and has never met a stranger. I sometimes channel him when I need to survive a roomful of people I don’t know.

What are you reading at the moment?
I usually keep three or four books going at a time. I’ve either just finished or am about to finish Wendell Berry’s Jayber Crow (the best novel ever about being a pastor without being a professional minister), Jon Krakauer’s Into the Wild (how family secrets can lead to a destructive inner rage), Timothy Egan’s The Worst Hard Time (incredibly well-written account of the 1930s Dust Bowl), and United Methodist pastor Paul Escamilla’s Longing for Enough in a Culture of More (wise words for our consumer culture).

What is your favorite hymn and why?
Classic: Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing (interestingly enough, composed by an 18th century Methodist pastor, Robert Robinson) for its piercing third verse: “Oh, to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be . . .”
Contemporary: Eric Wyse’s Wonderful, Merciful Savior for its heart-breaking reflection on our Savior: “Who would have thought that a Lamb could rescue the souls of men?”

Can you name a major moral, political or intellectual issue on which you’ve ever changed your mind?
I’ve renounced the evangelical myth that you should only invest in someone if they’re open to the gospel (otherwise, “shake the dust off your feet,” you know). I have a much clearer sense now of Kingdom work, caring for all whom God puts into my life as well as for God’s creation.

What philosophical thesis do you think is most important to combat?
Absolute certainty about things on which Scripture is silent—that’s a pretty weak substitute for real faith and real thinking. The older I get, the more I realize there are many more shades of gray than I thought possible. When life throws enough at you, most of us break out of those tidy black-and-white boxes. A little mystery is not a bad thing. And compassion always trumps being “right.”

If you could effect one major change in the governing of your country, what would it be?
To designate an Ambassador of Clarity whose task it would be to explain to the world that being an American is not the same thing as being a Christian (which, by its very nature is countercultural and way bigger than nationalism).

If you could effect one major policy change in the United Methodist Church, what would it be?
Having just written about the candidacy process, I’d like to see that experience streamlined to get these young, gifted people into the work of ministry rather than bogged down in a bureaucratic maze.

What would be your most important piece of advice about life?
Be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. Or as The Message puts it: “Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear.”

What, if anything, do you worry about?
Whether my son (21) will come to really own his faith and become a follower/disciple, not merely a believer.

If you were to relive your life to this point, is there anything that you’d do differently?
I’d have insisted on rearranging my work schedule during my single-mom years, so that I could have been home in the afternoon when my son came home from school, particularly during his middle-school years.

Where would you most like to live (other than where you do now)?
Dallas is convenient, but not very pretty. Seattle, San Francisco and Asheville, N.C., come to mind. But Oxford, England is my all-time favorite city.

What do you like doing in your spare time?
Have some unstructured time alone to think, plan and read, read, read. Naps are good, too! I’m a movie buff, and also enjoy opera—the more tragic, the better—and live theater.

What is your most treasured possession?
A keepsake memory box given to me by my husband that holds letters, cards and notes of affirmation from my husband, son, colleagues, friends and some very kind readers.

What talent would you most like to have?
I’d love to sing well enough to perform a solo without even a hint of stage fright.

If you could have any three guests, past or present, to dinner, who would they be?
Scott Peck (the best interview I ever did), Ruth Graham (the interview I wish I’d done) and either the Coen Brothers or Christopher Guest (just for their quirkiness factor).

What Do Normal People Talk About?

Pastor Deb went on a date recently, and discovered that it was hard to find non-church things to talk about:

Anyway, so this morning I have been thinking and I'm trying to come up with what normalyeah, that's a reality that is kinda hard to swallow, as much as I knew it before, it didn't really matter because the core of my friends are pastors too, so they don't have a life either!) At one point he said, "so you don't really get out much do you?" Is it that obvious?!?!

[snip]

Mr. Date Man was really good about everything, idiosyncrasies and all. He didn't make me feel weird, but nevertheless, I don't know that I have ever felt so foreign about what I do or who I am (as a Christian). My experiences and such just don't seem normal. They seem strange. Weird. Alien. And actually it's more of a good thing than bad. It makes me realize I really do need to get out more, branch out more, and really encounter people beyond my setting. I mean, even when I meet people that don't go to church, by in large, they grew up in the church, or in another faith setting, so there's a common ground to fall back on.

So my question for today is: What do normal people talk about?!?! people talk about. I mean, after the general basics of conversation, there has to be more to discuss, and quite frankly, I don't know what that *more* is.

One of the odd things about ministry is that it often isolates us from non-Christians. Or even just non-church members. One of my Mentored Ministry goals for this semester is to meet and learn the names of at least two people in my parish community who are not affiliated with my church. I have to discipline myself to engage the world outside of my church if I'm going to model good evangelism, and engage in it myself.

Brilliant Political Ad

I don't think that I could bring myself to vote for Huckabee, but this ad is hilarious:

Hat tip to DrewM.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Steam Trek

Star Trek, if it had been made in the era of silent films.

Hat tip: Neatorama

Caption Contest


Previous contest winner

WINNER:

DannyG: The Menu at Pablo Juan Wang's mexican/chineese fusion restraunt still needs some work!

Bloggers and Journalists

The Methoblogosphere is debating their relative value. The debate was started by Robin Russell, editor of UM Reporter, and carried forward by Dale Lature and Gavin Richardson.

Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup #137

...is up.

Why Do Muslims Convert to Christianity?

An interesting article from Christianity Today, based upon a study conducted by Fuller Seminary.

Hat tip: J.D.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Friday, November 16, 2007

Notes

1. My co-blogger Larry now has a picture blog. Or rather, his wife does. Anyway, there are lots of cute baby pictures.

2. I'm now a contributor at Neatorama. This is my first post, a re-tread of an old L&H post. Fresher content is forthcoming.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Virtual Sacraments

A few months ago, the Vatican sent Jesuits to the online world of Second Life to serve as evangelists.

So, here's my question: let's say that one of these missionaries who has sacramental authority serves Holy Communion through his avatar to the avatar of another player within Second Life. In this event, has the player received an authentic sacrament?

Caption Contest

Previous contest winner

WINNER: Tom Ream:

Bob was really glad he got a photo of the 'one that got away'...especially since Johnny wasn't going to be around to back up his story.

Riding Lawnmower DUI Arrest


Hat tip: Bits & Pieces

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

From a Christian Perspective, When Is Art Good?

I am presently reading Visual Faith: Art, Theology, and Worship in Dialogue by William A. Dyrness. Dyrness is a PCUSA minister and a professor at Fuller Theological Seminary. In this book, Dyrness describes the history of Christian aesthetics and attempts to lay out a theological perspective on the arts.

This is an interesting passage:

But if art is nothing special, it can be a part of something that is. What is special is God's revelation of himself and the call of creation to praise him in response...The call of God goes equally to everyone to respond to this revelation of God: To reflect and embody his purposes with all of his or her life and activity. These purposes of God are comprehensive. They include the whole of life -- how we dress, eat, work, play, and yes, the works of art whose purposes cannot be reduced to any of these activities. All of these can be taken up into the truly exciting program of God that Scripture calls God's reign.

How does art relate to this program of God? Human art, when it is good, manages some echo of this reality -- either to praise or to curse. This does not mean that art cannot be mostly for fun -- a quick sketch or shriek of delight in life itself. Even this delights the Creator. Nor does it mean that all art has to aspire to some deep spiritual purpose. But art that is worthy goes with the grain of a God-inspired and Spirit-upheld order, or it stands against this order, or more usually, it stands in some ambiguous relationship to it. Ultimately, the created order holds us accountable, and we either see through it to the loving hand of the Creator, or we make it something of an idol -- something that refers only to itself.

The final point is the most comprehensive and perhaps the most controversial. In some mysterious sense, all art aspires to be worship. This is not to say that every artist wants to use his or her art to witness to something larger than this or that temporary and finite form. Art that is serious always hungers to be a part of something larger; it wants to be a kind of summing up exercise that brings the pieces together and that reflects and comments on the ultimacy of order or disorder -- even to celebrate (or perhaps curse) this larger reality. And the world, for its part, is made in such a way that one day every particle of it will contribute its share to the praise of the eternal Triune God. One way or another every artist anticipates that day.

This is an intriguing train of thought. Art does indeed inspire reverence and sanctity. I remember when I saw my first Bouguereau. I was 24 and not yet a Christian, but when I turned a corner at the Birmingham Museum of Art and was suddenly met with L'Aurore, the whole universe seemed to pause in a sacred moment. So is this painting a small part of the created order that will one day be restored from its Fallenness? The fact that L'Aurore literally depicts a false god (the Greek goddess of the morning sun) would require that it is Fallen...and yet beautiful in a way that spurs spiritual longings.

Hmm.

Question of the Day

Matthew 22:23-30:

On that day some Sadducees (who say there is no resurrection) came to Jesus and questioned Him, asking, "Teacher, Moses said, 'IF A MAN DIES HAVING NO CHILDREN, HIS BROTHER AS NEXT OF KIN SHALL MARRY HIS WIFE, AND RAISE UP CHILDREN FOR HIS BROTHER.' Now there were seven brothers with us; and the first married and died, and having no children left his wife to his brother; so also the second, and the third, down to the seventh. Last of all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, whose wife of the seven will she be? For they all had married her."

But Jesus answered and said to them, "You are mistaken, not understanding the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven."

Why is there no marriage in Heaven?

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The Methoblog Is Down

But Jay Voorhees is working furiously to resurrect it.

Let's take a moment to thank Jay for his consistently hard work and vision for the Methoblogosphere.

Question of the Day

Is it consistent with Christian principles to support the death penalty?

The Criminalization of Everything

Ayn Rand once said:

The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws.

How true, as illustrated by this case, for which a man was placed in jail for the most innocent of acts:

35-year-old Brian Poulin of Hebron was arrested Sunday after police said he called 911 several times and asked them to bring him beer.

Hebron was charged with disorderly conduct.

Police said he called 911 numerous times and told the dispatcher he was out of beer and asked them to pick up more for him.

If you can't call 911 and get beer delivered, what exactly do we pay taxes for? Our Founding Fathers must be spinning in their graves.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Caption Contest


Previous contest winner

WINNER: psychodougie:

it was all going swimmingly, UNTIL Merl made a wrong turn, and his confidence was shot forever, as one hundred mechanised voices shouted WRONG WAY TURN AROUND GO BACK DO A U-TURN YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY...

Merl never drove again.


It's Pretty Simple


Hat tip: Glenn Reynolds

Should the State Regulate Clergy Ordination?

That's in dispute in Pennsylvania and New York. Two court cases there are addressing the legitimacy of marriages performed by ministers ordained online in a few minutes.

Hat tip: Instapundit

Pro Vita Christians

Andrew Thompson is dissatisfied with the term "pro-life" to describe his ethical stances and has come up with a better term:

I propose a new term: Pro Vita Christians. It is a way of saying "for life" or "in favor of life" but without the political baggage of the term "pro-life." It is a way of affirming God's love and care for all of his creatures - from the unborn baby in the womb to the convicted killer on death row.

This is a confessional stance, to be sure. And it is sure to be unpopular with both conventional liberals and conventional conservatives. But isn't it time Christians started thinking about their stances based on theology rather than secular political ideology?

I'm a Pro Vita Christian. All the way down. Who's with me?

Sunday, November 11, 2007

"The impossibility of Christianity"

That's the title of John Meunier's masterful post that tries to come to grips with the sometimes opposing ethical demands of the Christian faith. Read it all, for it is good.

The 300 Simpsons

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Comparing John Wesley and Rick Warren

Rick Warren is often criticized for excessive evangelistic zeal. Which is a really strange thing to criticize someone about. Anyway, Michael Spencer defends Warren and compares his evangelistic fervor with that of John Wesley:

At this point, I can say everyone needs to find and read every word written by Iain Murray on John Wesley, particularly on what everyone can learn from the early Methodists about evangelistic zeal.

You see, Murray acknowledges that Wesley had some theological problems, but for some odd reason, Murray hasn’t gotten the memo that any theological error at all disqualifies what you do in evangelism from being commendable.

The seeker model isn’t all it’s cracked up to be in many ways, and I am not a fan of much of what has been done with it. But I do believe that if we look closely at those men- across the spectrum- who have an evangelistic zeal that overflows into what their church says and does- you’ll find that it’s the same Holy Spirit, calling people to Christ, energizing Christians to love and take risks for Jesus sake and for the lost.

Modern Christian Pacifism

Dave Kopel has an excellent analysis of the various schools of modern Christian pacifism and how they are largely founded upon factual errors, moral inconsistencies, and apathy.

He examines the pacifism of Leo Tolstoy, Tony Compolo, Thomas Merton, Stanley Hauerwas, and John Howard Yoder. Kopel admires Yoder for directly addressing arguments against pacifism, but finds that Yoder compromises authentic pacifism in order to answer them.

Of particular interest is Kopel's evidence that Martin Luther King Jr. viewed non-violence as a tactic, not a universal principle.

I highly recommend this article.

Hat tip: Volokh Conspiracy

Friday, November 09, 2007

The Serenity Prayer


Via Richard Hall

The Gavin Richardson Acting Career Begins

At least, I don't know how he'd ever miss out on a casting call like this one.

Hat tip: LauraW

Archaeological Evidence for a Zombie Attack in Ancient Egypt


It appears that even ancient Egyptians knew to aim for the head:

On the other hand, in support of the earlier date, some have claimed that the famous Palette of Narmer (ca. 3000 B.C.), also from Hierakonpolis, far from recording a victory in the war of unification of Upper and Lower Egypt, is instead a celebration of the successful repulse of a zombie attack. Although we tend to focus on the verso where the king is shown smiting a kneeling enemy, it is the other side that is actually the front. It is the side with the depression for mixing the cosmetics for adorning the cult statue, and so it would seem that the scene of the king marching in procession to view a pile of decapitated bodies is the really important message.

Hat tip: Glenn Reynolds

Caption Contest


Previous contest winner

WINNER: Mark Winter:

They kept telling me it was the network, but I was trying to save a few bucks.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Ministry Case Studies

A. A non-messianic Jewish synagogue in your town burns down. The rabbi approaches you and asks to rent your sanctuary for worship until a new one can be built. Do you accept?

B. A Hindu temple in your town burns down. The priest approaches you and asks to rent your sanctuary for worship until a new one can be built. Do you accept?

C. A Shinto couple asks to rent your fellowship hall for a wedding. Do you accept?

ZomBeatles


Hat tip: Gavo

Kinda Adds Perspective to the Whole Jacob and Esau Thing

How can a baby born second be older than her twin?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Left Behind as a VBS Program

Apparently, it doesn't work very well:

The edgy and unusual Left Behind VBS was intended to breathe new life into the slowing brand. The program was tested in 14 churches, mostly in Pennsylvania, and involved realistic fear tactics.

At one point the kids huddled in a darkened room while sound effects made it sound like giant hail was ripping through the church roof. Noises also simulated fire, earthquakes and panicked people stampeding and screaming.

"It was very believable," says one teacher. "I knew it was fake and I was still scared."

They had to stop the CD and turn the lights on because kids began screaming. On another day the teachers had the children close their eyes, and when they opened them, half the group had been quietly led out of the room.

"That’s what it will feel like if you’re left behind when the Lord comes back," said a teacher as children sobbed.

Merit Pay for Pastors

Pay for performance programs shake up churches

THORNTON, Colo. — Last month, the people of Big Valley Church noticed their pastor dressing nicer, giving more passionate altar calls and making more frequent appeals for volunteers.

What they didn’t know was that the church board had quietly begun using PayPerform, a program that determines how well a pastor is performing in ministry, how much he should be paid, and at what point he should be fired.

"Carrying out the Great Commission is a quantifiable activity," says PayPerform creator Kevin Dolan. "Public companies don’t tolerate sub-par performance. They oust bad CEOs and reward good ones. Why should churches be any different? Our mission is vastly more important."

Programs like the PayPerform Accountability System use in-depth demographic studies to set targets for a specific church’s attendance, conversions and "capture and retention" rates of visitors. It even determines what the average tithe level should be, based on local giving rates.

Story link

Which is Better: Cats or Dogs?

A lengthy, exhaustive debate at The Onion that covers all of the issues.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Caption Contest

Previous contest winner

WINNER: John Wilks:

Oh, I've tricked her out with low-profile shoes, a chrome-plated saddle, uv lights on her belly, spinners on her ankles, and a fifteen sub-wolfer in the trunk (boy, did she squirm!)

Baldness: A Gift From God

Carl Trueman:

Yet baldness is nonetheless a great gift from the Lord, in that it imposes a certain dignity on the ageing process by cutting off the various less dignified options (e.g., ponytails, which shouldn’t be sported by anyone over 30; and mullets which, frankly, should not be sported by anyone, anywhere, anytime. Period.). Of course, there are those, even Christians, who fight against this divinely-imposed dignity. Dreadful toupees abound in the church, along with frightful transplants, and the ubiquitous `comb-over’ or `sweep.’ The latter seems predicated on the false notion that, if you have six hairs to stretch across the barren landscape of your otherwise shiny pate, nobody will notice that you have gone completely bald. Or perhaps there is a belief somewhere that, in the country of the bald, the one-haired man is king. Come on, gents, parade your baldness with pride and accept the dignity which your divinely-imposed hair loss brings with it.

Read the whole thing, which is actually a very insightful post about generational changes. Hat tip to Joe Carter.

Is Angela Lansbury a Hottie?

Count on Jeff the Baptist to tackle the tough questions of 21st Century life.

Can A Liberal Survive Asbury Theological Seminary?

John Meunier is considering attending Asbury and would like some advice.

Monday, November 05, 2007

The Bible Is Not a Weapon With Which to Beat Someone Over the Head

Unless, of course, you're using it for that purpose, in which case, it's pretty handy:

A Blue Earth County jailer who hit a prisoner with a Bible in February has pleaded guilty to misdemeanor fifth-degree assault.

Under the plea agreement, two gross misdemeanor charges of mistreatment of a confined person and misconduct by a public officer filed against James Lee Sheppard, 6, were dismissed.

Clearly, I Should Be Writing More About Zombies

cash advance


Hat tip: Joe Carter

All Saints' Sunday

For All Saints' Sunday, I constructed a liturgy from The Book of Worship. It consisted of an invocation and then the reading of the names while the bell was chimed. I asked if there were any other saints to remember, and there were several. I then asked if anyone would like to speak about the impact that these saints made on their lives. We closed with a prayer, again directly lifted from The Book of Worship -- which I have found, as a student pastor, to be an incredibly useful book.

Further thoughts from Beth Quick, Kim Matthews, Michelle Hargrave, and a prayer from Allan Bevere.


How did your church mark All Saints' Day/Sunday?

Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup #136

...is up.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Catholics Taking Protestant Communion

I e-mailed a Catholic colleague of mine this question:

If a Catholic believer takes Holy Communion offered by a Protestant priest, is it, from the Catholic perspective, a sin, or simply an ineffective sacrament?

This was his response:

Good question and there is some debate around it. Not so much that it is a sin, exactly, but whether it is appropriate to participate in a ritual established by Christ that is seen as not bearing the fullness of the sacramental sign.

I say if the church is open to Catholics receiving (so many are "any baptized believer is welcome"), and the person receiving does so with the understanding that it is a ritual of love, remembrance, and the presence of Christ among us, then it is fine. Others will say that this is the one place where the rubber hits the road in the brokenness of Christian communion, and we should be "separate" in action until unified in belief.

I bend toward option #1. But I can see it both ways.

The History of LOLcats


Many people incorrectly assume that LOLcats do not predate the Internet. On the contrary, the LOLcat phenomenon dates back to ancient Egypt.

Hat tip: Neatorama

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Westboro Baptist Church Vandalized

With statements like "God hates intolerance". I approve of this behavior under what I like to call Just Vandalism Theory.

My Preaching Thus Far

I've now preached weekly for six months as a student local pastor, giving me a lot to learn about the proclamation of the Word of God.
  • I'm basically an expository preacher. My usual pattern is to ask people to open their Bibles to the selected passage, introduce with an illustration, read the text, teach upon it, and then conclude with a prayer and an altar call.
  • I rotate between Gospels, Acts/Epistles, and Old Testament in my passage selection. I might move to Lectionary preaching someday, but right now I only do it for high holy days.
  • I preach from the selected text, but I also weave in other texts. These seem to pop up frequently: Micah 6:6-8, 1 John 2:7-11, and Luke 11:37-44.
  • I have managed to move Holy Communion from a free-standing element in the liturgy to now follow the sermon. I think that I will make the last lines of my Communion Sunday sermons the opening words to Word and Table II. This is still in the experimental stage, though.

Zombie Yoga


Hat tip: Tom Jackson

Friday, November 02, 2007

God's Gonna Cut You Down by Johnny Cash


Via Alan at Thinklings, who comments about the video:

And the teary-eyed blonde shakes her head and mouths the words for a long time.

Now this may not seem like much, but it cut me to the quick. This is obviously someone who knows what it's like to be on the run. And that alone makes it powerful.

But it's not just the pathos that grabs you. It's the fact that she gets it. I don't know if she's a Christian, but I know-- in that moment-- she captured the agony of life apart from Christ. Most of us get the punchline all wrong. It's not about God cutting you down, although he will do it. It's about the running.

The tragedy isn't in getting cut down. The tragedy is running from God. We can waste our lives and wallow in our "freedom." You can run on for a long time. But in running, you don't postpone a bad thing.

To Arms! To Arms!

The Second American Civil War begins! Citizens, defend your rights!

Via SluBlog, who writes:

First they came for the smokers
But I was not a smoker, so I did not speak out
Then they came for the movie theater popcorn
But I no longer attend the movies, so I did not speak out
Then they came for the Hardee's Thickburger
But there is no Hardee's in Maine, so I did not speak out
Then they came for the bacon
And I finally got mad enough to say 'you can take my bacon when you pry it from my cold, dead, fingers, you miserable nanny-staters!'

Cluster Charge Conferences

A couple of weeks ago, my church had its charge conference with its cluster of four other churches. We hosted, which was a lot of work, but well worth it. The best part was when we sang a hymn together and the entire sanctuary was filled with song.

As a student local pastor, my membership resides with my home church, so I drove into Jacksonville later that night for their cluster charge conference. It was a very busy day.

Allan Bevere is more skeptical of cluster charge conferences than I am, and lists five reasons why they are (in his opinion) ineffective.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Uh Oh

Um. Apparently some those zombies that I saw and, uh, took care of, on Wednesday night, weren't necessarily zombies. They could have been people dressed up as zombies for Halloween. I should have watched this handy instructional video first:

But really, if you're dressing up as a zombie ever, your asking for trouble.

A True Star Trek Fan

...would have her ears surgically altered to look like a Vulcan's.

Hat tip: Glenn Reynolds

UPDATE: I asked my wife a question, and she answered with a very definite and absolute NO. Sigh.

The Open Table

In the United Methodist Church, Holy Communion is offered at the "Open Table", meaning that you don't have to be a member to take the sacrament. I include a statement to this effect whenever I begin the liturgy:

In the United Methodist Church, we celebrate an Open Table. That means that you don't have to be a member of this church or any church to partake of Holy Communion. You don't even have to be a Christian. Christ invites to his Table all who seek him.

How is this expressed in your congregation?

This Reminds Me of Annual Conference In So Many Ways

Martin Luther's Theses That Didn't Make the Cut

Ironic Catholic has a list. Luther's omission of #3 is particularly tragic.

In a Zombie World



A Worth 1000 photoshop contest.

Thanks to Tom Jackson.