Caption Contest

Previous contest winner

WINNERS:

Oloryn: The seal of disapproval.

Rick: Leading by example.

Question of the Day

After his death and before his resurrection, did Christ descend into Hell?

100 Frightening Ice Cream Flavors From Around the World

Here's the definitive list, featuring such tasty flavors as garlic, horse, squid, and viagra.

Hat tip: Joe Carter

Virtual Evangelism

Jesuit missionaries are now active in the virtual realm of Second Life. I'm not sure what to think about this. For one thing, I'm too tired to think straight. For another...well, actually, that's about it.

Hat tip to Ace, who asks "Can you offer salvation to that which has no life?" Heh.

The Miss Klingon Empire Beauty Pageant

I can't believe that I missed this!

Hat tip to Neatorama. The winner was butch enough to earn a kiss from George Takei.

Christian Telemarketing

One of the surprising elements of the pastorate (now that I have been in one for three months) is sleazy Christian telemarketing. It is, from my limited experience, more dishonest than is secular equivalent.

Every Friday evening when I arrive at my church office, there is at least one telemarketing message on my answering machine. It'll generally run something like this:

This is a call for Pastor. You may not remember, but we spoke on the phone a couple of months ago. Did you know that 450% of Christians have never read the entire Bible? In fact, a recent survey showed that not a single Christian could name the Book of Genesis as being in the Bible. From our last conversation, I know that you too are very concerned about this lack of basic Biblical literacy in America today. That's why I want you to know about this new book that I've been using my church called....

And so on. What is so irritating about Christian telemarketers that I have encountered is:

1. Pretending to know me. They're assuming that I'm so busy that I can't keep track of who I speak to. Addressing me as "Pastor" instead of my name at any point is a dead give-away that this is a cold call. When they act as though we've met, they're lying. Lying has no place in any Christian business. Period.

2. Guilt-tripping me when I don't buy their product. When I actually get one on the phone, Christian telemarketers have laid heavy guilt trips on me when I'm not interested in bankrupting my church to by their product or hire their speaker. They've questioned my fidelity to Christ and fitness for ministry. As I previously wrote, I'm not buying it.

As any person with a phone, I've had my share of secular telemarketing calls. But their Christian equivalent are in a league of their own for sheer sleaziness.

Pastoral Nightmares

Beth Quick writes about the nightmares that she's had related to her ministry:

One nightmare is where I oversleep for worship. I'm not a morning person. Not at all. And on Sundays, the only day I have to get up particularly early, I usually set about three alarms, just to be sure. Well, one day I had a 9am funeral. I optimistically thought I would go running before the funeral, and set an early alarm. When it went off in the morning, I decided that running in the morning was a silly idea, and went back to sleep. My secretary called me at 8:58 to see where the bulletins were. I was sleeping. I got up, ran to the church, and had started the funeral by ten after 9, completely mortified with myself. But after that, I stopped having oversleeping nightmares.

Caption Contest

Picture via Literal Barrage

Previous contest winners

WINNER: Tom Jackson:

Rook to Queen's Moat 4

Art Blogging: Jean-Antoine Watteau

Jean-Antoine Watteau (1684-1721) was a French Rococo painter. He was born in Valenciennes to an impoverished tiler who used what little money he earned to educate his son. Watteau was apprenticed to Gerin, a local painter in Valenciennes. When Gerin died in 1702, Watteau went to Paris and gained employment as a scene painter, and later in a factory that mass produced devotional art. He worked in the ateliers of various masters, and his reputation grew until he attracted the attention of painter Charles de la Fosse, who ensured his admission into the Academy. There Watteau's fame reached meteoric heights, and he exerted a commanding influence on on the next generations of the French Rococo style. Most notably, he created the genre of depicting wealthy people relaxing in Edenic splendor.

The Venetian Festival. (oil on canvas, National Galleries of Scotland)

The Festival of Love. (oil on canvas, at the Gemäldegalerie in Desden)

The Music Party. (Oil on canvas, at the Wallace)

The Gaming Flowchart

All in-game decisions can be made with this simple flowchart.

Question of the Day

Which operating system does God prefer?
	Windows
	Macintosh
	Linux
pollcode.com free polls

Methodist Blogger Profile: Andrew Conard

Andrew Conard of Thoughts of Resurrection
My name is Andrew Conard. I am a Christian, husband, son, brother, friend, United Methodist and a pastor of Congregational Care at The United Methodist Church of the Resurrection. I am particularly interested in living life as a disciple of Jesus Christ, the emerging movement, and renewal in mainline churches. I joined Resurrection in July of 2006 after graduating from Wesley Theological Seminary with a Masters of Divinity degree. Prior to seminary, I attended Pittsburg State University in Pittsburg, KS and received a Bachelor of Science in Biology in 2003.

I am a Kansas native. I was born in Lyons and my parents currently live in central Kansas. Andrew is married to Rev. Nicole Conard, who is also a Church of the Resurrection pastor. Andrew and Nicole met at Wesley Theological Seminary and were married in June of 2006.


My vocation as minister is to live my whole life in response to the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am called to share my life with other people and help them connect with God’s love in Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit. This best happens in ways that are meaningful, personal and in community with others. I am convinced that the best way to fulfill my response to God is to be continually open to the way God is at work in and around me. I am passionate about connecting theology to real life and exploring the significance of having an identity in Christ and as a United Methodist.

Why do you blog?
Blogging helps me to articulate my thoughts about faith, life and ministry. I blog to interact with the congregation that I serve, United Methodists, non-believers and believers of all kinds. I hope to share my passion and be a catalyst for renewal within the United Methodist Church and spiritual revival in the state of Kansas.

What has been your best blogging experience?
Meeting people in the congregation whom I had not met before, but who had read my blog.

What would be your main advice to a novice blogger?
Pay little attention to blog and feed stats.

If you could only read three blogs a day, what would they be?
unclutterer - http://unclutterer.com//
[daily dose of imagery] - http://wvs.topleftpixel.com//
Signal vs. Noise - http://blogcabin.37signals.com/

Who are your spiritual heroes?
Martin Luther King, Jr., Karl Barth, Lesslie Newbigin, Mark and Joyce Conard, Everett and Nora Fieser, Richard Foster, John Wesley, Charles Wesley, …

What are you reading at the moment?
Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen. The tactics described in this book have been transformational in the way that I approach tasks at work.

What is your favorite hymn and why?
Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing is my favorite hymn. I find that it expresses both my inclination as a human to turn away from God and God’s pursuit of me in spite of myself.

Can you name a major moral, political, or intellectual issue on which you've ever changed your mind?
Several years ago, I was a strong supporter of farm subsidies as a way to enable farmers to make a living. I have become more aware about the effects that subsidies in the United States have on farmers around the globe. Today, I lean toward supporting the end of all farm subsidies. However, I still struggle with what is the most faithful side to support. Several of my aunts and uncles make their living as farmers.

What philosophical thesis do you think is most important to combat?
I think that that it is important to combat the culture of global consumerism. I believe that it promotes self-centered consumption and disregard for others. When people are enmeshed in global consumerism they are less likely to live in to God’s economy.

If you could effect one major change in the governing of your country, what would it be?
I would implement term limits for senators and representatives. I believe that when elected officials are in the capital, either state or national, for a sustained period of time there is a great possibility of losing touch with those whom they have been elected to represent.

If you could effect one major policy change in the United Methodist Church, what would it be?
I would remove guaranteed appointments for clergy. I believe that this would lead to increased effectiveness of leadership across the denomination.

What would be your most important piece of advice about life?
Do not take yourself too seriously.

What, if anything, do you worry about?
At times I worry about taking good care of the body which God has given me in this life.

If you were to relive your life to this point, is there anything that you'd do differently?
I do not think I would do anything differently. This is not to say that I have had a blissful existence since birth, there have been good and bad times. I think that all things in my life have shaped me into the person that I am today.

Where would you most like to live (other than where you do now)?
I would enjoy living close to a stop on public transportation.

What do you like doing in your spare time?
I enjoy running - for fun, exercise and stress relief. I like to take photographs both to remember particular people and events and to capture interesting subjects and scenes.

What is your most treasured possession?
I treasure relationships. But I am not sure that I can say that they are possessions.

What talent would you most like to have?
I would like to have the ability to play the piano well. I took piano lessons for years growing up, but have not played much since high school.

If you could have any three guests, past or present, to dinner, who would they be?
Arlyn E. Conard, Martin Luther King, Jr., John Wesley. I am not sure how the conversation would go between them, but these are three people with whom I think I would enjoy conversation.

My Sermon Preparation Schedule

Monday: Select Scripture passage.

Tuesday: Exegesis.

Wednesday: Write rough draft of manuscript.

Thursday: Write final draft.

Friday: Go on date with wife.

Saturday: Practice sermon recitation up to 8x, bare minimum 4x.

How about you? What's your schedule?

I Was Interviewed

...by blogger Michael Halcomb. Check it out.

"I'm So Much Cooler Online"

It's so true.



Hat tip: Ace

Wedding Music

Is it just me, or would the opening theme to the classic cartoon Robotech not make a totally awesome wedding processional?

That's been my opinion for twelve years or so. But, alas, Katherine insisted on something more traditional. Oh, and we couldn't afford a full orchestra.

Caption Contest

Previous contest winner

WINNERS:

Rick: Although intended as an application of poststructuralist theory of signs through an ironic display of the interdependence of the signifier and the signifed thus emphasizing the social construction of meaning while effecting a deconstruction of Lakoff's strict father metaphor of contemporary politicial understanding, the attempt at guerrilla theater unfortunately left most observers with the conclusion that they both were idiots.

Michael Daniel: United Methodists at Annual Conference again.

Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup #121

...is up. I didn't submit anything because I didn't have any post of four paragraphs or more in length, but many other Methobloggers were more enterprising than I was. Check it out.

Internet Exhibitionism

It's often surprising what people will put up on the Internet about themselves, such as the now proverbial drunken nude photo of oneself on a Myspace account. James Lileks tries to imagine this same phenomenon happening thirty years ago:

Imagine you’re in college. Far from home. It’s 1977. You’re partying down, as the Grand Funk Railroad put it. One guy is walking around with a clipboard, asking personal questions; he’s also taking photos. As the night goes on, inhibitions fade like cotton candy in a hot shower, and you find yourself in a hot shower. With someone named Cotton Candy, as it turns out. Who invited her? That guy is still taking pictures, too. Eventually you ask what he’s doing.

“Well,” he says, “I’m going to put together a big collection of incriminating photos and remarks, and post it up at that bulletin board outside the grocery store. And there’ll be another one in your home town.”

You’d be livid. It would take all your self-control to keep from hanging a fat lip on the fellow. Why? you ask. Who would want pictures of themselves performing stupid drunken party pranks on a bulletin board where Mom could see it, let alone read answers to a questionnaire about the most detailed personal matters? You take his film and kick him out. That was close.

Ah, how times change. It's no surprise that we're waging a war against dignity and privacy; it is a surprise that so many people volunteered to fight.

Hat tip: Instapundit

Methodist Blogger Profile: Ken Hagler

Ken Hagler of Jedi Pastor Ken

As the Jedi Pastor, I serve in the North Georgia Annual Conference as an Elder and church planter. Together with my wife Heather (twelve years and still putting up with me), our two kids, Tigger and a tank full of fish, we have been sent to the Outer Rim Territory (known affectionately as Paulding County) of Metro Atlanta to start a new UMC. Currently, I'm a member of the Hothlanta Rebels Fanclub here in Atlanta and help lead a group of boys who call themselves Den 9 from Pack 1916 (they're the best). I'm a survivor of Testicular Cancer (2000 and if you visit my MySpace page you can discover the nickname my youth group gave me). When time allows, you'll find me on the trails of Georgia.

Why do you blog?
I took a long time to decide whether to blog or not. For me it seemed to be a great way to connect to my community, primarily those I'm trying to reach as a church planter (I'll let you know over the next year or so how that goes). I blog to inspire people to connect to an authentic faith in Jesus Christ. I see my role as an "encouraging prophet" (one of those spiritual gift inventories told me I had those two). I try to write not merely for information but transformation, my own but also those who might read.

What has been your best blogging experience?
Becoming connected to a larger community and being challenged more deeply to be authentic. Blogging has helped (I think) to make me more effective as a preacher and communicator.

What would be your main advice to a novice blogger?
Write. A lot. Don't just write on your blog either. Keep a journal and write there. Have dry erase boards and make notes as they come to you. Start and don't stop. Ever!

If you could only read three blogs a day, what would the be?
Scott Ginsberg's http://www.hellomynameisscott.blogspot.com/
Guy Kawasaki's http://blog.guykawasaki.com/
Ben Witherington's http://benwitherington.blogspot.com/

Who are your spiritual heroes?
John Wesley, Francis Asbury, Dr. Alan Coppedge, Dr. J. Ellsworth Kalas, Dr. Dennis Kinlaw, Bonnie Hagler (my grandmother), Oswald Chambers, Mike Yaconelli

What are you reading at the moment?
The Bootstrapper's Bible by Seth Godin
From Good to Great by Jim Collins
A Guide to Prayer by Rueben P. Job, Norman Shawchuck
Ballsy by Karen Salmansohn (really)

What is your favorite hymn and why?
O For A Thousand Tongues to Sing

To me, it is a summation of Wesleyan Theology. The best theology is theology which can be sung. Wesleyan-Methodist Theology is so full of hope and love, it is no wonder Charles and John could write so many hymns. I could say others of the Wesley's but this one captures the joy and excitement of the conversion experience. Every time I sing it, I'm taken back to my faith decision at Lake Junaluska.

Could you name a major moral, political, or intellectual issue on which you've ever changed your mind?
The death penalty. I was challenged by a speaker at a Youth Specialties conference a number of years ago. He had worked with death row inmates and eloquently expressed his own journey of grace and compassion. I still struggle at times but ultimately, it just seems incompatible for me to support life in other areas and then ask for someone to die.

What philosophical thesis do you think is most important to combat?
Narcissism. It is not all about us it is about God and it always has been. It is just a fancy term for idolatry really. Wesley was passionate about "holiness unto the Lord." It seems inconsistent for us to get so wrapped up in the feelings of others or trying to project our feelings on God. The core of every struggle we seem to be having in the Church seems to come down to "me."

If you could effect one major change in the governing of your country, what would it be?
Salaries of elected officials, namely Congress. If we're not going to do term limits then politicians should receive a salary that represents the average salary of their constituents. They should have a monitored travel and expense account but let's elect people who want to serve.

If you could effect one major policy change in the United Methodist Church, what would it be?
Eliminate the title of 'Bishop' once an Elder has completed their time of service in the role. Once ordained in full-connection, all are Elders. Bishops are to be the servant-leaders. It is discouraging to see retired Bishops being allowed to speak and represent the denomination when they speak contrary to the Book of Discipline.

What would be your most important piece of advice about life?
"Do or do not. There is no try." Master Yoda

What, if anything, do you worry about?
Facing cancer again and losing.

If you were to relive your life to this point, is there anything that you'd do differently?
Not a chance!

Where would you most like to live (other than where you do now)?
Possibly Scotland or Ireland and North Carolina

What do you like doing in your spare time?
Hiking and backpacking with my family and friends

What is your most treasured possession?
My wedding band (and backpack)

What talent would you most like to have?
"...the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force." -Darth Vader

If you could have any three guests, past or present, to dinner, who would they be?
John Wesley, Scott Ginsberg, and Obi-Wan Kenobi

How did you get the name "Jedi Pastor"?
That was one I claimed for myself. I think it started at my MySpace page. Rather than "Jedi Master", Jedi Pastor seemed more appropriate. I've been a huge Star Wars fan (though certainly not as big as some). I was interviewed on FOX 5 in Atlanta prior to the release of Episode III. My offices are full of Star Wars stuff as well.

It seems to have been well received by most folks. It opens conversations with people who stop by my office too. People appear to be more comfortable with a pastor who has interests beyond church. I don't think I've posted anything "Star Wars" related on my blog, I pretty much reserve it for MySpace. I've had a few ideas bouncing around so who knows what you'll see in the future.

Iowahawk for President

It is with trembling delight that I announce my support for the David Burge Presidential Campaign. The genius behind the blog Iowahawk has graciously offered to lead our nation into a new era, the content of which shall be revealed in January 2009. The Burge Campaign is already swelling with enthusiasm. Be a patriot and throw yourself at the feet of our next President!

And while you're at it, take a gander at some of these Iowahawk classics:

Rainforest Iowa: Right for America, Right for Puppies

Fear and Loathing in the Mystery Machine

How to Blog Good

Ingmar Bergman's 'Hazardous Dukes'

Art Blogging: Peter Paul Rubens

Peter Paul Rubens (1577-1640) was a Flemish Baroque painter. His greatest achievement was to merge the realism of Dutch painting with the classicism of the Italian Renaissance. His father, a highly-educated Calvinist, was forced to flee the Spanish-occupied Netherlands for Germany before Rubens was born. When Rubens' father died in 1587, he and his family settled in Antwerp. He was apprenticed to various painters in that city and came under the influence of the Romanists -- Dutch painters who imitated the style of the Italian Renaissance. Rubens himself later went to Italy and worked in Mantua for eight years, drinking deep from the well of Italian painting. In the ensuing years, he gained commissions for devotional works and portraits throughout Italy. Upon his mother's death he returned to Antwerp, intending to stay only briefly, only to find the expensive commissions offered to him so enticing that he settled there permanently. In Antwerp, with Hapsburg backing, he sold works throughout all of the great courts of Europe and became fabulously wealthy. In short, he translated Italian Renaissance painting into ways that all of Europe could understand it.

The Fall of the Rebel Angels (1620, oil on canvas, at the Alte Pinakothek in Munich). The swirling, tempestuous violence of this scene almost pours off of the canvas.









The Martyrdom of St. Stephen (oil on canvas, at the Musée des Beaux-Arts in Valenciennes).











Portrait of Helena Forment (1630, oil on canvas, at the Musées Royaux des Beaux-Arts in Brussels). This was Rubens' second wife.

Selling Human Organs

L&H readers previously discussed whether it should be lawful to sell one's own organs. I know what is the libertarian response to this question. Nevertheless, knee-jerk application of political ideology to every issue can create bad policies, so I'll reserve judgment on this issue. I'm hesitant to support opening up human organ trafficking to the free market.

Virginia Postrel, however, has no such qualms:

People want to keep [kidney donation] as a heroic, uncompensated act because it makes them feel good. Never mind that tens of thousands of people are dying for your right to feel good about other people's heroic acts.

Hat tip: Instapundit

Caption Contest

Previous contest winner

WINNER:

Jim McKay: Not as clumsy or as random as a pitchfork, the lightsaber is a more elegant weapon, for a more civilized age.

How to Encourage a Blogger

Tim Challies has a list of ways to be a Barnabas to bloggers. Here's one:

Send a Note of Encouragement. Short of leaving a comment, this is probably the easiest thing you can do. Simply find the person's email address or contact form and send them a brief note, mentioning that you enjoy reading their blog (and perhaps why you enjoy the blog) and encourage them to continue seeking the Lord.

Ken Hagler is great at this. He's sent me uplifting e-mails which as a blogger I find rather...well, uplifting and encouraging. It's an idea that works well in all other areas of life, too.

Hat tip: Joe Carter

Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup # 120

Here's the latest week in review of the Methoblogosphere thanks to the hard work of Allan Bevere.

Question of the Day

Should it be lawful to voluntary sell one's organs (e.g. a kidney, a lung, an eye) to people in need of organ transplants?

Caption Contest

Previous contest winners

WINNER: Ironic Catholic:

The first model IPhone was rejected by Steve Jobs as being a bit crude.

When Jeff the Baptist Gets Into the Kitchen

I can imagine that Jeff would cook something like this.

The Perfect Husband

Hat tip: Joe Carter

Art Blogging: John Everett Millais

John Everett Millais (1829-1896) was a British Pre-Raphaelite painter. He hailed from the English middle class and, displaying a prodigious talent at an early age, became the youngest ever student at the Royal Academy in 1840. Along with Dante Gabriel Rossetti and William Holman Hunt, he was a founding member of the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood in 1848. Millais was famous for his attention to minute detail in his works, although he became increasingly spontaneous as he matured. This change came due to pressing financial needs which encouraged Millais to produce a greater output of work. Embracing Victorian sentimentality, Millais achieved financial success, but gained the derision of his colleagues within the Brotherhood. Nevertheless, he thrived as a portraitist, acquiring great wealth, a boronetcy, and at the end of his life, the Presidency of the Royal Academy.
Christ In The House of His Parents (oil on canvas, 1849-1850, at the Tate). This painting, which earned a scathing public review by Charles Dickens and thereby unintentionally catapulted Millais from obscurity to fame, is laden with symbolism, typical of Pre-Raphaelite narrative painting. It is a pictographic summary of the Gospel story: Christ has accidentally pierced his hand with a nail in his father's workshop, young John the Baptist rushes to bring him water to wash the wound, and a dove rests on a ladder in the background.

This painting was controversial because it depicted Christ not as martyr nor as a reigning king, but as a fragile, lanky boy. Dickens accused Millais of suggesting that Jesus was "wry-necked boy in a nightgown who seems to have received a poke playing in an adjacent gutter." His review led to widespread critical discussion of the contrasting values of Academicism and Pre-Raphaelitism, and thereby advanced the latter's publicity.

A Huguenot, on St. Bartholomew's Day Refusing to Shield Himself from Danger by Wearing the Roman Catholic Badge (oil on canvas, 1852, at Manson and Woods). Inspired by Jakob Mayerbeer's 1838 opera The Huguenots, Millais composed this decidedly Protestant painting in the midst of an age of paranoia about Papal conspiracy theories.














The Order of Release, 1746 (oil on canvas, 1852-1853, at the Tate). In 1745, exiled Prince Charles ("Bonnie Prince Charlie") of the House of Stuart landed in Scotland and raised an army in an attempt to reclaim the throne. With most of the British Army occupied in Flanders and France, he almost succeeded. This vivid and colorful image depicts a Scottish woman securing the release of her P.O.W. husband.

Hospital Ethics: Limited Resources

Here's an ethical dilemma presented to my CPE group:

Mrs. CZ is a 71 year old woman who has a recently diagnosed lung cancer for which she has refused surgery and radiation therapy. She developed pneumonia distal to the tumor and was admitted to the community hospital in her rural county. She has shown no signs of improvement for 7 days and has continued to refuse treatment for lung cancer. She is now comatose and requires mechanical ventilation. The victim of an automobile accident is brought to the hospital with a crushed chest, apparent pneumothorax, and broken bones in the extremities. The patient requires a respirator immediately. Of the six patients on the six respirators in the unit, Mrs. CZ has the poorest prognosis. She seems unable to be weaned and thus would probably die if ventilatory support were discontinued. Should she be removed in favor of the accident victim?

How would you answer?

Caption Contest

Previous contest winner

WINNERS:

Jeff the Baptist:

"Martha! Where's Clark?"

"Oh, he's just outside playing with his cars, dear."

DogBlogger: Jack not name! Jack job!

Did Jesus Own a House?

Michael Halcomb combed through the Scriptures and tried to discover whether or not Jesus was a homeowner.

I Observed an Autopsy Today

It was a unique experience.

Book Review: The Organic God by Margaret Feinberg

In the rush of daily life, it can become too easy to treat our devotional practices as items on a checklist. In her book The Organic God, Christian author Margaret Feinberg calls on readers to find wonder, mystery, and joy in God in the world around us:

When I encounter something new that represents everything that is good and true and beautiful, something awakens inside of me. Maybe it's a heart cry for the Creator or maybe it's the Creator's heart cry for me. I do not know, but such encounters remind me that there is so much more to do and experience and know -- not just about my world but about my God (9).

Feinberg advocates a lifestyle immersed in the Scriptures -- where the Bible is not a dry, dead text, but a living tool that God uses to transform us and speak to us. She writes that we need to constantly rediscover God and find renewal of relationship and communication with him in order to discover the pure and undiluted essence of God:

I want to discover God again, anew, in a fresh way. I want my love for him to come alive again so that my heart dances at the very thought of him. I want a real relationship with him -- a relationship that isn't altered by perfumes, additives, chemicals, or artificial flavors that promise to make it sweeter, sourer, or tastier than it really is. I want to know a God who is all his fullness would allow me to know him. I want a relationship that is real, authentic, and life-giving even when it hurts. I want to know God stripped of as many false perceptions as possible. Such a journey risks exposure, honesty, and even pain, but I'm hungry and desperate enough to go there. I want to know the Organic God (20).

The book takes readers through an exploration of the personal attributes of this undiluted God, which are (chapter by chapter): bighearted, breathtakingly beautiful, amazingly wise, surprisingly talkative, wildly infallible, outrageously stubborn, abundantly kind, and deeply mysterious.

The small group study questions at the end of the book are particularly well-written and selected, making it a good book for such a purpose.

Grade: B+

Disclosure notice: This book was given to me by the publisher, Zondervan, in exchange for a review at this blog.

Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup #119

The latest MBWR is up!

The Robert A. Heinlein Centennial

Yesterday was the centennial of the birth of science fiction author Robert Anson Heinlein (1907-1988). Heinlein was one of the greatest innovators in the field. In the Golden Age of science fiction, alongside Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke, Heinlein mainstreamed science fiction and elevated it from pulp fiction to serious literature. A graduate of the Naval Academy, he served until tuberculosis led to his medical discharge. Later he became involved in Socialist politics and unsuccessfully ran for the California State Assembly. Over time, he embraced a more libertarian political ideology, as many of his works demonstrated.

Last week, Heinlein's literary contributions were celebrated at the Heinlein Centennial Convention in Kansas City.

My favorite of his works is the 1959 classic Starship Troopers. It is a great yarn about a radically different future earth in which military service is a prerequisite for citizenship, and a highly sought-after honor. This novel follows the life of trooper Johnny Rico as Earth battles an alien insect race across interstellar space. Controversial at its release, Heinlein wrote the work in response to a growing advocacy for appeasement with the Communist Bloc among science fiction authors.



I first read Job: A Comedy of Justice about fifteen years ago. It is a satire of evangelical Christianity (at least, an evangelicism from two generations ago, even though it was written in 1984). The main character is a minister who suddenly finds himself in an alternate universe and then experiences the eschaton. The Final Judgment separates him from the woman he loves, and he goes on a quest to find her. This book is theologically preposterous, but a great love story.



What Heinlein books have you read and enjoyed?

Geek Culture + Knitting

Count on Amy Forbus to combine the two successfully.

Attention Methobloggers

Remember to send your submissions for the Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup today to Allan Bevere at umweeklyroundup at yahoo dot com.

The Evil Overlord List

Let's revisit this classic of Internet humor, the Evil Overlord List. If I ever become an evil overlord (e.g. Emperor Palpatine, Queen Gedren, Prince Humperdinck, Phaeton, etc.), I will do these things:

My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

Hat tip: Jeff

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Caption Contest

Picture via Ace.

Previous contest winner

WINNER: John Meunier:

Trust me guys, when they say being married won't change anything, they are lying.

Art Blogging: John William Waterhouse

John William Waterhouse (1849-1917) was an English Pre-Raphaelite painter. He was born in Rome to an English family which returned to London during his childhood. Waterhouse was educated at the Royal Academy and rose to prominence during the 1880s. He was particularly noted for his depictions of either tragic or dangerous women. Waterhouse painted extensively from Medieval literature and Classical mythology, as well as profited from portrait commissions. His subject matter was therefore heavily Pre-Raphaelite, but Waterhouse (unlike, for example, Burne-Jones and Rossetti) was willing to make use of traditional Academic styles.


The Lady of Shallot (oil on canvas, 1888, at the Tate). This is Waterhouse's most famous work. It is a reference to a romantic figure in English literature. Elaine of Astolat first appeared in Malory's Le Morte D'Arthur as a woman cursed to fall in love with Sir Lancelot, whose heart belonged entirely to Queen Guinevere. During Waterhouse's time, Tennyson had revived interest in the legend with a poem in which Elaine had been cursed by a fairy with this overwhelming love for Lancelot, and she then tries desperately to reach Camelot in a boat:

In the stormy east-wind straining,
The pale yellow woods were waning,
The broad stream in his banks complaining.
Heavily the low sky raining
Over tower'd Camelot;
Down she came and found a boat
Beneath a willow left afloat,
And around about the prow she wrote
The Lady of Shalott.

And down the river's dim expanse
Like some bold seer in a trance,
Seeing all his own mischance --
With a glassy countenance
Did she look to Camelot.
And at the closing of the day
She loosed the chain, and down she lay;
The broad stream bore her far away,
The Lady of Shalott.

Lying, robed in snowy white
That loosely flew to left and right --
The leaves upon her falling light --
Thro' the noises of the night,
She floated down to Camelot:
And as the boat-head wound along
The willowy hills and fields among,
They heard her singing her last song,
The Lady of Shalott.

The Beautiful Woman Without Mercy (oil on canvas, 1893, at the Landesmuseum, Darmstadt). It is a reference to a Medieval European legend about a knight who encountered a strange but beautiful woman in the forest. She seduced and then killed him. The legend first appeared in a 15th Century poem, and again by Keats in a 1820 poem:

And there she lulled me asleep,
And there I dream’d—Ah! woe betide!
The latest dream I ever dream’d
On the cold hill’s side.

I saw pale kings and princes too,
Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;
They cried—“La Belle Dame sans Merci
Hath thee in thrall!”

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gaped wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hill’s side.


And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely loitering,
Though the sedge is wither’d from the lake,
And no birds sing.

Giving Up on FoxNews

Ace:

I think I'm giving up on FoxNews. The channel has become far too aggressively lowbrow, stupid, and carnival-barker-ish for my tastes. My tastes aren't exactly elevated, but I do have limits, and FoxNews has violated mine.

Almost every time I have the channel on I feel stupid, because it's so clearly chasing the stupid demographic. And I'm not part of that demographic, and do not wish to be treated as part of that demographic.

Maybe this is how it's been getting ratings all along and I never noticed. Well, I'm noticing now. I'd rather watch friggin' CNN than this televised coloring book for mental defectives.

[snip]

Here's some news for Fox: Your core audience is conservative. Not retarded. I assure you they're not the same thing, though you seem to believe they are.

Amen. I can't watch CNN for long before my blood starts to boil because it leans too hard to the Left. But contrary to popular opinion, FoxNews does not lean Right; it leans Stupid. It is a channel with flashy graphics instead of information. The morning show Fox & Friends seems to pride itself on its clownishness. The female reporters appear to be hired on the basis of cup size instead of verbal coherency. Whenever I watch FoxNews (because the TV in front of my elliptical trainer at the gym is stuck on it), I leave feeling like I've lost a few IQ points as well as calories.

This is the same reason why I don't watch local news as well. I can't even remember who the current mayor of Orlando is because the local news cares only for cute puppies, community service fairs, weather, and ceaseless babbling between news bubbleheads on the most trivial of topics.

I once encountered a local news station in Dallas that actually reported, you know, news, but that was the only exception in my experience.

NPR, that bastion of Leftist journalism, at least assumes that listeners can comprehend three-syllable words.

At the root, both FoxNews and local news stations do not take their jobs seriously.

The Fuzziness of Death

Last week, I was summoned to a patient room in ICU shortly before a patient was expected to die. She was a woman in her 70s, and when I arrived, several family members had gathered to be with her. I was there in the last few minutes of her life, and with her family well afterwards.

It was the first time that I had watched someone die.

Death is a strange thing. What was unexpected is that life is not an on/off switch. There was no precise moment of her death. It's not like in the movies where the heart just stops and there is a loud, continuous buzzing from the heart monitor. Even the heart does not just simply stop; residual electrical activity continues until it fades away almost imperceptibly.

Her death was more vague, more fuzzy and obscure. There was a time in which she was alive, and a time in which she was dead, and a softly-defined boundary in between. The systems of her body simply shut down, one by one. She did not die at one point in time, but rather faded from life.

It was something that I had not at all expected.

About a minute later, a fixed boundary was demanded from me. Another relative came into the room. It the midst of the confusion and chaos of the crowded room, it was uncertain what was happening. She looked at me and said, "What's going on?" The nurse said nothing. I had to make a split-second decision that (1) yes, the patient was indeed dead in every clinical sense and (2) to inform the woman of her grandmother's death.

For a while, the timing of death was vague and uncertain. Life did not turn itself off in the patient; it faded away like a receding tide. But then it was official, stated, and formal. The boundary between life and death had ceased to be fuzzy, and was not sharp.

Caption Contest

Previous contest winners

WINNER: Tom Jackson:

It's an obvious fake. Everyone knows toasters only run Linux.

CPE Practical Jokes

One of the most nerve-wracking parts of being a CPE student/chaplain is that you never know what you're going to get when you walk into a patient room. It can be a person filled with the joy of Christ, or someone who throws a bedpan at the chaplain.

So here's my idea for a hidden camera show: get actors to pose as hospital patients, rig the room with hidden cameras, and wait for the chaplain interns to show up. Make the patients as eccentric as possible, or create bizarre situations/problems for the chaplain interns.

What do you think?

D'oh! I was Left Behind