Prison Rape in American Culture

Ezra Klein writes about the banality of prison rape in America's prisons and popular culture:

This year's transcripts aren't online yet, but in 2006 you could have heard a man named Clinton explain, "I had no choice but to enter into a relationship with another inmate in my dorm in order to keep the rest of them off of me. In exchange for his protection from other inmates, I had to be with him sexually any time he demanded it. It was so humiliating, and I often cried silently at night in my bed ... but dealing with one is better than having 10 or more men demanding sex from you at any given time."

Clinton's testimony wasn't very funny, and it wasn't for entertainment. Nor was the 2001 report by Human Rights Watch, "No Escape," which included a letter from an inmate confessing that "I have no more feelings physically. I have been raped by up to five black men and two white men at a time. I've had knifes at my head and throat. I had fought and been beat so hard that I didn't ever think I'd see straight again."

Prison rape occupies a fairly odd space in our culture. It is, all at once, a cherished source of humor, a tacitly accepted form of punishment and a broadly understood human rights abuse. We pass legislation called the Prison Rape Elimination Act at the same time that we produce films meant to explore the funny side of inmate sexual brutality.

Occasionally, we even admit that prison rape is a quietly honored part of the punishment structure for criminals. When Enron's Ken Lay was sentenced to jail, for instance, Bill Lockyer, then the attorney general of California, spoke dreamily of his desire "to personally escort Lay to an 8-by-10 cell that he could share with a tattooed dude who says, 'Hi, my name is Spike, honey.'"

It is not simply the pervasiveness of prison rape that brings shame to our nation -- although that would be enough -- it is that we joke about it that plumbs the depths of moral depravity.

I've written before that the Church should rarely get involved in political issues. The Church should stay out of issues of which faithful Christians can legitimately dispute. But prison rape is not among these debatable subjects. There is no Just Rape Theory.

Prison rape is a subject that the Church can and must take an aggressive stance on.

HT: Instapundit

Caption Contest

Picture via SmartPastor

Previous contest winner

WINNER: Jeff the Baptist: Just what the world has been waiting for, a game that requires you to musically duel with 2 different accordion-playing Yankovics.

Methodist Blogger Profile: Greg Milinovich

Greg Milinovich of agentorange
i am greg: husband to Shannon; father of Jackson (3), and Caedmon (1); associate pastor to the clinton united methodist church and probationary member of the greater new jersey annual conference (about to be ordained an elder in may!); native of pennsylvania and former resident of kentucky; alumnus of grove city college (b.a. – 1998) and the theological school at drew university (m.div. – 2005); passionate fan of the pittsburgh steelers and new york yankees; artist; listener to nearly every genre of music (7,751 songs on my ipod); lover of words (but no friend of capital letters); and blogger at agentorangerecords.

i have, for most of my life, had an unusual affinity for anything underappreciated or underdogged, and the color orange came to symbolize that for me. agentorange was a moniker that just began to capture all of that, despite its pesticidal meaning. the ‘records’ part is there only as fantasy: i’ve always wished to own a radio station or record label. i was a mix-tape champion in college and made all my own mixes under the pseudonym agent orange records. it just became my little fantastic company that was about art and creativity and celebrating the underdog and loving hard.

Why do you blog?
i blog because i:
love to write,
like to stay in touch with my family,
need to confess at times, profess at others,
use it as a spiritual discipline,
have nothing else to do,
and am desperate for attention.

What has been your best blogging experience?
this has been an experience in authenticity for me. i suffer from the disease of always trying to make everyone happy and working tirelessly to ensure that i am meeting people’s expectations of me (or what i think they are expecting of me). blogging, then, has been an exercise in being honest, genuine, authentic. it’s been a place where bytes and pixels have offered me enough digital space to be me.

What would be your main advice to a novice blogger?
be honest. don’t write what you think you should write or what you think others want to read. write from your gut.

If you could only read three blogs a day, what would they be?
reallivepreacher
locusts and honey
thunderstruck

Who are your spiritual heroes?
john wesley – for his discipline
frederick buechner – for his words
henri nouwen – for his love

What are you reading at the moment?
paths to prayer – patricia d. brown
arther – stephen lawhead
i am America (and so can you) – stephen colbert
breath for the bones – luci shaw
the emerging church – dan kimball

What is your favorite hymn and why?
fairest lord Jesus, for the following reasons:
-written by a dude named munster (reminds me of cheese)
-has a meter of 568.558 (whatever that means)
-is short (i have a small attention span)
-contains the words cherish, joy, honor, God, garb, sing, sunshine, moonlight, brighter, purer, angels, praise, adoration and thine (all good words).
-i love the melody (my soul feels at home in it).
-the fourth stanza starts like this: “beautiful savior!” (its poetry, praise and plea, all in one).

Can you name a major moral, political, or intellectual issue on which you've ever changed your mind?
its too difficult for me to pick just one. the way i see it, the whole journey of discipleship is an ongoing process of having not only your heart but also your mind changed. if you are not currently having your mind changed about something, well…
i think this is part of the normal and natural growth of any human. in our youth we tend to see the world as so much black and white, but living in the present moment seems to teach us that life is always more grey than we thought yesterday. it is absolutely true for me that the older i get, the less i know.

What philosophical thesis do you think is most important to combat?
i hate answering “most” questions – i’m just not sure which –ism is most threatening, but i can say that one of the biggest ideas i find myself up against all the time is something i would call “rightism,” or an unhealthy addiction to being right. i think it is absolutely important, even crucial, for us to think critically about what we say we believe, and for us to dialogue with one another (and others) about these things, but i think Christians in particular are far too worried about being right. much too often rightness (or orthodoxy or theological correctness) is actually just a way to maintain power or entitlement. i just wish more Christians (including this one) would worry less about being right and worry more about loving people.

If you could effect one major change in the governing of your country, what would it be?
i’m afraid i’m much too ignorant to speak intelligently about this, but i guess if i could change one thing it would be equalizing healthcare, and overhauling the whole idealogy of health and wellness and how it is funded/offered in this country.

If you could effect one major policy change in the United Methodist Church, what would it be?
its not really a policy change – i just wish we could get over our division around the issue of human sexuality.

What would be your most important piece of advice about life?
never ever forget that you are God’s wonderfully created, wildly celebrated, and deeply loved child, and then do your best to love like that. die trying.

What, if anything, do you worry about?
how long the earth can sustain us living this way, and what kind of world we are handing to our children.

If you were to relive your life to this point, is there anything that you'd do differently?
nope.

Where would you most like to live (other than where you do now)?
Ireland. particularly county galway.

What do you like doing in your spare time?
collaging
watching the steelers during football season
watching the yankees during baseball season
playing my guitar or banjo or mandolin
spending time with my family
enjoying a film

What is your most treasured possession?
as i’ve already said, i hate “most” questions. i’ll pick my top 3:
-the scrapbooks that verbally and pictorially tell the story of my family
-my voluminous collection of journals
-my ipod, the soundtrack of my life

What talent would you most like to have?
go go gadget arms

If you could have any three guests, past or present, to dinner, who would they be?
frederick buechner, rob bell, donald miller

Redefining Masculinity as Love, Not Hostility

One high school football coach has a radically different approach to building a team and turning boys into men.

[YouTube Link] Hat tip to Gavin Richardson, who has extensive thoughts of his own.

It's Like LOLcats, But With Graphs and Flowcharts

GraphJam consists of humorous graphs and charts reflecting pop culture and related idiocy. Here's a sample:

HT: Neatorama

Antiestablishmentarianism

The Church is supposed to be counter-cultural, not a tool of the Establishment. An excellent post by Dan Trabue.

Preaching faith and science

I once heard Adam Hamilton of Church of the Resurrection say that he tried to plan topical preaching series that might be attractive to nominal church attenders, and offer those series immediately after holidays like Christmas and Easter when you might get the attention of new people. With that approach in mind, I decided that I would see if the topic of "faith and science" would get any traction for a post-Easter preaching series and am planning to spend three weeks on the topic.

Any advice on how to handle the topic from the pulpit? Any experiences with this topic becoming a wedge issue within a congregation? I am both excited and nervous about doing this, so guidance from the experiences of others would be great!

The Job

[YouTube Link] A hilarious short film about employment.

Brilliant concept, magnificently executed.

HT: Neatorama

Caption Contest

Picture via SmartPastor

Previous contest winners

WINNER: Mark Winter: You'll enjoy this program--or you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight!

Stuff Christians Like

In a play off of the popular satirical blog Stuff White People Like, here's a blog called Stuff Christians Like. It is slightly snarky and quite funny look at young evangelical Protestants. A few of my favorites:

#61 Being Relevant

#55 Getting a precise definition of "virgin" from your youth minister

#43 Metrosexual Worship Leaders

#34 Subtly finding out if you drink beer too

#24 Church names that sound like clothing stores

#12 Getting awesome in a certian number of steps

HT: Thinklings

The Consequences of Easter for Dying Churches

Bishop Will Willimon:

Since Jesus Christ is raised, let loose, invading a world, returning to the very people who betrayed him, then we work not alone. The risen Christ goes before us. We serve a God who lives to raise the dead--even us. Therefore, we work with hope--not hope in ourselves and our efforts, but with hope in Christ.

A couple of years ago, a District Superintendent paid me one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received. He had told a pastor of our interest to move him to a different church. “I can’t do this,” responded the pastor. “That church is dead. It’s been dying for years and now I hear it’s really dead.” The DS replied, “I’ll tell the Bishop but let me warn you, this guy really believes that Easter is true. To tell him a pastor or a church is dead means nothing to him. He just sees death as an opportunity to see what Jesus can do.”

Via Richard Hall, who writes:

It’s strange how many Christians say they believe in the resurrection but yet are prepared to write off those they think are dead or dying. “The church will only succeed,” they say, “if it does/doesn’t do X” (which usually amounts to “if the church listens to me”).

But Bishop Willimon is right: We serve a God who lives to raise the dead–even us.

Christ, Culture, and Creativity

Yesterday, I linked to this post by Al Hsu about the culture war that Dungeons & Dragons sparked when it first appeared in 1974. Some Christian leaders found its content objectionable. The whole post is a real gem, and I didn't dig into its main point. Hsu argues that they failed to win the public argument over gaming because they merely critiqued culture, instead of creating it:

In short, Gygax created culture, whereas Gothard merely condemned culture. Gothard did not create a compelling alternative to D&D - he merely argued that it was evil. Whatever one might think about his perspective, the larger issue for Christians is whether we will create compelling, dramatic narratives and stories for people to participate in, or if we only react against what other people create. Andy Crouch's forthcoming Culture Making argues that Christians cannot change the culture by condemning it, critiquing it, copying it or consuming it. The only way to change culture is to create more culture.

I agree. Christianity must be more than a voice declaring "No!" If we are to live in the image of our Creator, then we, too, must be creative and celebrate beauty where it can be formed and found.

HT: Jollyblogger

Caption Contest

Picture via Keith McIlwain

Previous contest winner

WINNERS:

DannyG: Yeh, though I walk thru the valley of the shadow of Death I shall have no fear...

Jeff the Baptist: Grab some sky, Satan! Now Dance!

John Meunier: That night the apostles found they had no trouble staying awake as Jesus prayed in the garden.

WikiHistory

A short and fun story about time travellers.

HT: Evangelical Outpost

Role-Playing Games and Their Christian Critics

Al Hsu writes about how Dungeons & Dragons (and gamer culture in general) triumphed over its conservative Christian critics:

It occurs to me now that in the Gygax vs. Gothard smackdown, Gygax ultimately triumphed. Why? I think because whereas Gothard and other conservative Christians defensively attacked D&D out of fears of Satan worship, Gygax and D&D created an appealing world and fascinating narrative that people could enter into. It was participatory, and it also created community. Rogers notes, "You needed at least three people to play — two adventurers and one Dungeon Master to guide the game — so Dungeons & Dragons was social. Demented and sad, but social."

That was my experience with gaming. Although the games themselves were interesting, it was largely a means to an end: social contact for an extremely socially isolated boy. Role-playing games were the perfect social activity. More so than a pickup game of basketball or watching a movie with friends, RPGs are driven by communication, empathy, and friendship.

I find myself missing gamer life, these days, in large part due to the social isolation of the pastorate. The pastor hat rarely comes off and although I have friends and colleagues and accountability partners, I don't have buddies anymore. And I miss that.

HT: Jollyblogger

Question of the Day

Joseph Yoo has thoughts about pastoral care when suicide strikes.

Pastors, have you ever provided pastoral care after a suicide or overseen a funeral for a suicide victim? How should such trauma be handled by a pastor?

Mature congregations

Mark Beeson, pastor of Granger Community Church, made an interesting comment on his blog about what the mature church looks like (it is worth reading in full):

"The 'mature church' is the church filled with immaturity."
Anywhere in the world, whether plant or animal, the clear delineation of
"maturity" is the ability to reproduce.


I like his thoughts in general, but it seems to me that a mature church needs to have an intentional way of going about taking the spiritual newborns and leading them to maturity. The analogy breaks down if you try to take it too far. For example, we use the word "mature" to describe human beings who are more than just able to physically reproduce, but a mature human being is someone with emotional and psychological balance that often comes several years after physical maturity. Maturity is more complex than just having the capacity to reproduce.

Caption Contest

Picture via ICHC

Previous contest winners

WINNER: Jim Morrow: ALF invents the fax machine.

Cartoon Theology: Calvin and Hobbes

Via Jollyblogger

Weekend Plans

How to get your groove on.

[YouTube Link] HT: TigerHawk

My Pet Rabbit Hyzenthlay Wishes You a Happy Easter

[YouTube Link] HT: Ace

Is Christ Inappropriate Content for Preschoolers?

Russell D. Moore writes about a Christian publisher (ironically named "Dare to Disciple") which decided to leave Easter out of its Sunday school curriculum because the crucifixion was "too graphic" and the resurrection "confusing":

The death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus is the Gospel. That's the first word. If we cannot speak of that, we would be better off not speaking of Jesus at all, rather than presenting another Christ, one who meditates but does not mediate, who counsels but is not crucified, who is accessible but not triumphant over sin and death.

The apostle Paul told us the word of the cross would be folly to those who are perishing (1 Cor 1:18). He didn't warn us that it would sometimes also be folly to those who are publishing. No matter. It is still the power of God

This Easter, preach the Gospel... to the senior citizens, to the middle-aged, to the young adults, to the teenagers, to the seekers, to the hardened unbelievers, to the whole world. And, yes, preach the Gospel to the preschoolers.

I'm not saying it won't be scary. The Gospel will disturb the children. And, if you understand it, it will disturb you too.

Hat tip to The Corner via Instapundit.

Temptation

[YouTube Link] Black Button, a short film by Lucas Crandles. If you couldn't get caught, would you kill a stranger for $10 million?

Run time: 7 minutes, 7 seconds long.

Question of the Day

Genesis 6:1-4:

Now it came about, when men began to multiply on the face of the land, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves, whomever they chose. Then the LORD said, "My Spirit shall not strive with man forever, because he also is flesh; nevertheless his days shall be one hundred and twenty years." The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men, and they bore children to them. Those were the mighty men who were of old, men of renown.

Who were these "sons of God" and "Nephilim"? Angels? Demigods? Marines?

Reblogged: Sermon On Canvas: The View from the Cross

Click on the picture for a larger view. It's worth it.

This painting is What Our Savior Saw from the Cross by Tissot.

What did he see? A Pharisee giggling. His own mother mourning. Women adoring him. A Roman soldier wondering. A Zealot jeering. But all eyes are on he who died for the sake of the world. They look at him with varied expressions; he looks at them only with love.

I am, at times, the Pharisee, the mother, the women, the soldier, and the Zealot. But regardless of whether I honor or mock his sacrifice, he unfailingly returns my gaze with love.

And can it be that I should gain
an interest in the Savior's blood!
Died he for me? who caused his pain!
For me? who him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be
that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be
that thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
-Charles Wesley


[reblogged]

Question of the Day

Luke 4:1-7:

Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led around by the Spirit in the wilderness for forty days, being tempted by the devil. And He ate nothing during those days, and when they had ended, He became hungry. And the devil said to Him, "If You are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread." And Jesus answered him, "It is written, 'MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE.'" And he led Him up and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. And the devil said to Him, "I will give You all this domain and its glory; for it has been handed over to me, and I give it to whomever I wish. Therefore if You worship before me, it shall all be Yours." [Emphasis added]

Did Satan have a legal claim over the earth? If yes, does he still own the world?

Caption Contest

Previous contest winners

WINNERS:

Jeff the Baptist: Why the Air Force doesn't fly over Smallville, Kansas.

Allan R. Bevere: First the broken window and now this. Boy, are you gonna catch it from mom when we get home!

Methodist Blogger Profile: Stephen Taylor

Stephen Taylor of Nitrorev
I’ve been a pastor in the South Carolina Annual Conference of the UMC for 25 years, presently serving Trinity in Sumter, SC. Got my undergraduate degree at Clemson and then my MDiv at Emory, where now I get to teach in the Course of Study program during the summer.

My father is a minister as was his father, though I am the first in the United Methodist faith. And I married a pastor’s daughter. After watching me do ministry for so many years, Cynthia decided someone should do it correctly, so she left nursing and went to Emory and now is a pastor in a nearby town.

My eldest daughter is “suffering for Jesus” (ha ha) on the Isle of Palms, SC as a Director of Youth and Children’s ministries. And my youngest is busy being a Junior in High School – but also is involved in Conference youth ministries and was elected last year as the first teen ever (I believe) from SC as a Gen Conf delegate.

Why do you blog?
A couple of friends suggested I try it. I was writing a lot but not on a regular basis. So I thought it might develop some discipline and open more avenues of communication.

What has been your best blogging experience?
Don’t know the best, but the most interesting to me so far was going to another city to teach a seminar and having a guy come in my room who knew me through my blog. I guess that’s when the connective power of blogging hit me.

What would be your main advice to a novice blogger?
Kinda like Peter Bohler’s advice to John Wesley, “Preach faith until you have it.” Except in this case, it’s: Post blogs until you have your own voice, and then because you have found your voice, you will blog.

If you only had time to read three blogs a day, what would they be?
Who has time for 3 a day? I do is check the Methoblog and see if what there interests me. Found some very good writers, but I just don’t regularly check any, except maybe my brother’s blog to see what he is up to, RandomConnections.com

Who are your spiritual heroes?
Sounds corney, I know, but number one is my Dad. His deep investment in the Word, plus his open-mindedness paved the way for me to find a world of theology and praxis outside the constraints of the fundamentalism he’d inherited. Number two is John Wesley – discovering his writings in college introduced me to grace. Favorite theologians are Bonhoeffer & Moltmann.

What are you reading at the moment?
Just finished Borg and Crossan’s The Last Week and Rueben Job’s Three Simple Rules. Halfway through Jesus for President by Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw, and Centuries of Holiness by Richard Valantasis. On deck is Bishop Goodpaster’s new book, There’s Power in the Connection and Tom Brokaw’s Boom. Hard to focus on just one at a time….

What is your favorite hymn and why?
Trust and Obey (cause both of those are what I need to do).

Can you name a major moral, political, or intellectual issue on which you’ve changed your mind?
Yes, many, which isn’t unusual for those of us to see life in shades of gray. But one that stands out right now is my shift from total support of Israel to a better understanding of the complexities of the Palestinian conflict and the need for the US to become a stronger advocate for both sides to make concessions.

What philosophical thesis do you think is most important to combat?
Neo-gnosticism, and I wish I knew how.

If you could affect one major change in the governing of your country, what would it be?
Still would like to see if term limits could make an improvement.

If you could affect one major change in the governing of the United Methodist Church, what would it be?
Some method of reining in the independence of the general agencies so that they are held more accountable to the Church.

What would be your most important piece of advice about life?
Get out of bed every morning, and think about where you want to end up before you start.

What, if anything, do you worry about?
Our children and their children having a livable future with the way we’re messing things up.

If you were to relive your life up to this point, is there anything you’d do differently?
Win the powerball at age 21. (Oops, did I, a Methodist, write that? Must have meant tennis ball.)

Where would you most like to live (other than where you do now)?
Still in the South, but in my own home with my own fruit trees, grape vines and gardens, things that take time to develop – itineracy is tough that way.

What do you like doing in your spare time?
Just get out and see the world, it’s amazing.

What is your most treasured possession?
I guess it’s the copper and brass base of a 5 inch (circumference) mortar shell from my Dad’s WW2 navy days - on which he engraved designs by tapping a nail against it. It sits on my desk and reminds me of noble causes, great sacrifices, and a young man coming into his own faith in a wide-open, chaotically transforming world.

What talent would you most like to have?
To draw/paint. The above mentioned home would have a very messy art room.

If you could have any three guests, past or present, to dinner, who would they be?
A night of great story-tellers: Eudora Welty, Fred Craddock, and my uncle Joe.

Question of the Day

Matthew 12:30-32:

He who is not with Me is against Me; and he who does not gather with Me scatters. Therefore I say to you, any sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the Spirit shall not be forgiven. Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it shall be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it shall not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come

Mark 3:28-30:

Truly I say to you, all sins shall be forgiven the sons of men, and whatever blasphemies they utter; whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin"-- because they were saying, "He has an unclean spirit."

What is the "unforgivable sin"?

The Inspiration of Scripture

I tend to have a high view of the inspiration of Scripture. Something like this:


see more crazy cat pics

You can read the Bible in LOLCat here.

Caption Contest

Picture via Art Ruch.

Previous contest winner.

WINNERS:

Allen: "The ordination candidacy process was still tougher."

Ken Lowery:
username: mormon
password: toldyouso

unquenchableworshipper: God's profile is set to private: You must be God's friend to view this profile"

Question of the Day

If you sat on your Conference's Board of Ordained Ministry and could ask candidates for the ordained ministry one question, what would it be?

Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup # 151

...is up.

The Difference Between Elliot Spitzer and Me (and You)

Scott Ott:

Yet conscience calls our bluff: Do you really believe that you are so different from Eliot Spitzer?

There's an interesting episode in the life of Jesus of Nazareth in which the people were amazed at his character, his integrity and his incredible accomplishments. But John's gospel says, "Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people..." (John 2:24)

What did Jesus know about all people?

It's the same thing you know about yourself.

No matter what you may tell others (i.e. "I'm basically a good person."), there is something at the core of your being that seems to stain even your best intentions. Like Gollum in the caves of Tolkien's trilogy, it dwells within the heart and mind of all. Rarely does this beast reach full ferocity and manifest itself so publicly in some heinous act of cruelty or depravity. But it crouches at the doorstep for each of us, insinuating itself into our daily lives.

The distance between you, or me, and Eliot Spitzer is not so great as we would imagine, or wish.

The difference between me and Eliot Spitzer is largely this: I have never been elected governor of New York.

UPDATE: The comment thread is rather illuminating. Various readers are objecting to (somewhat strongly, at times), that they could sin as Elliot Spitzer did.

As the sage said, "Pride goeth...."

Meeting DannyG

It was great to meet DannyG last week. Although my camera failed, his did not, and Hyzenthlay snapped this picture of the two of us at Casa Des Locusts & Honey. I'm the cute one, in case you're having trouble telling which is which.

Danny now has a lengthy post up about our meeting. I really appreciate his encouragement.

Pumping Iron

The New York Times has a post up about how local, independent gyms are successfully competing with national chains:

Notably, national health club chains fared the poorest in the survey. The magazine found that private studios for yoga, dance or Pilates and gyms at local community centers, schools, work and nonprofit Jewish Community Centers and Y.M.C.A.’s received the best marks. National chains were often criticized for long wait times for machines, problems with contracts or fees, poorer cleanliness and less adequate locker rooms than other gyms.

Most of the time when I've tried to cancel a contract, the financial office responsible won't return my calls, so I'm quite familiar with that problem. I now operate under the assumption that a gym won't honor its cancellation policy.

We all have different needs from a gym, and I have none at all for aerobics classes, full-service shake bars, or in-house spas. Although I imagine that it could be helpful to get a workout and a bikini waxing in the same place, I don't need or want to pay extra for such amenities. Others, however, may have such a need.

Right now, I go to a small town YMCA. Including the aerobics room, it's say that it's about 2,500 square feet in floor space. I have to drive 20-25 minutes to get there, but it's the closest gym. This is what I do:

Monday
Dumbbell bench press (3 sets)
Dumbbell shoulder press (3 sets)
30 minutes stair climber

Tuesday
Chin-ups (3 sets)
Preacher curl (3 sets)
30 minutes stair climber

Wednesday
Dumbbell shoulder shrug (3 sets)
Dumbbell lateral raise (3 sets)
30 minutes stair climber

Friday
Sit ups (3 sets)
Back extensions (3 sets)
30 minutes stair climber

Saturday
Dumbbell lunges (3 sets)
Leg curl (3 sets)
Calf extensions (3 sets)
Run 2.5 miles

Where Are the Prominent United Methodist Women?

Sky Lowe-McCracken notes the prominence of female authors, speakers, and teachers in other denominations (e.g. Beth Moore of the SBC) and the relative scarcity of prominent UMW equivalents:

I personally have little problems with any of these folks. I've been to a Beth Moore study, and they are not "Baptist-y" - it's mainly just basic biblical knowledge. In fact, I know the church I serve have used the above resources for several studies.

Now a few years ago, I would have said, "Absolutely not. That stuff's not Methodist, Lifeway sells it, and we're not Baptists." But I soon realized the void wasn't being filled, that we were coasting way too long on DISCIPLE Bible Study, and then someone I know flat-out asked me: "Where are Methodist women leading and writing bible studies? Why do the Baptist have all the great women's bible studies?"

Well... where are the Methodist female evangelists today, in the tradition of Anna Howard Shaw, Belle Harris Bennett, Georgia Harkness, and Sarah Crosby? I have no problem with the United Methodist Women/Women's Division doing a study on Israel/Palestine peace relations. But if we are a denomination that is losing membership and increasingly biblically illiterate, should we not be in mission with our own in teaching basic biblical principles that would (incidentally) guide us in matters like Israel and Palestine?

Three Cheers for...

...Jay Voorhees and Allan Bevere. Jay recently updated the Methoblog to make it more useful and eye-appealing. And Allan Bevere, trooper that he is, does the positively insane Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup every week.

These two guys make the Methoblogosphere happen. Show your appreciation in the comments.

Caption Contest

Picture via Purgatorio.

Previous contest winner.

WINNER: Allan Bevere: "Simon, if you love me, feed my veliciraptors.

Question of the Day

Steve Heyduck is irritated about the secretive politicking going on in preparation for General Conference:

Is there anything wrong with that? Well, yes there is. Officially, as we are reminded by our bishop, clergy do not and are not to politic. We are not supposed to “run” for GC delegate.

Does it happen? Of course! Am I merely expressing sour grapes over not being involved? I don’t think so. I am not opposed to deals being made and people politicking for themselves or others. I am opposed to this all happening while we say it doesn’t and isn’t supposed to.

If you could change anything about the way that General Conference operates, what would it be?

Middle Name Meme

I've seen this one going around some of the Christian blogs that I frequent.

Rules:
1. You have to post the rules before you give your answer.
2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don’t have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother’s maiden name).
3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name.

Here we go:

T -- Truck. I recently bought a truck, making me the first truck owner in my family.

H -- Hebrew. I've found this semester that I remember more OT Hebrew than I thought that I would.

E -- Eight. I did eight chin-ups at once today, which is a first for me.

I'm not really into tagging. It's like intentionally giving someone cooties. Join in if you want, or not.

Methodist Blogger Profile: Mary Jacobs

Mary Jacobs of UM Reporter Blog
Why do you blog?
For health insurance. It’s part of my job. I blog every Wednesday. But it’s one of the best parts of my job. I’m a contrarian, so I love having a weekly chance to spout off.

What has been your best blogging experience?
No grand aha moment, but I do love getting comments. (In fact, this is one of the disappointments of my job at the Reporter: not enough angry comments from readers. Methodists, stop being so nice! I like getting comments – praise or criticism. Let’s mix up a little more here.) When I wrote for the Dallas Morning News, I was always amused when my stories were posted on ultra-liberal or ultra-conservative websites, and particularly gratified if the same story ended up on one of each.

What would be your main advice to a novice blogger?
Question conventional notions – the stuff that everybody “knows” is true. Take a risk now and then. Remember, you are just offering ideas, not making laws. You’re throwing out opinions for people to try on, like a jacket. If your idea is bad, nobody will die. Nobody will lose a limb.

If you could only read three blogs a day, what would they be?
My friend Sophia Dembling’s blog, www.sophiadembling.com. It’s funny and dry, like Sophie. And her dog cracks me up.

The Wall Street Journal’s Editorial page, with related blogs.

Dallas Morning News religion blog, for my daily dose of snark from Bruce Tomaso.

Who are your spiritual heroes?
A member of my church who has survived a string of terrible misfortunes and somehow maintained her faith and her kind and giving spirit. The Amish because they modeled forgiveness in the midst of truly horrible situation. And I like the Dalai Lama because he giggles. How cool is that?

What are you reading at the moment?
Just finished Earthy Mysticism by Tex Sample. (I have a review copy – it’s not out till April. It broke my heart into a million little pieces.)
Healing Breath by Ruben Habito.

What is your favorite hymn and why?
Wish I could be more original, but I love Amazing Grace. It has saved a wretch like me more than once in this lifetime. Not sure if it qualifies as a hymn, but I also love Carrie Underwood’s song, Jesus Take the Wheel. I’m skeptical about whether God really intervenes in our lives at our request but this song feel utterly “true” to me at some metaphorical level. It has helped through many bad days in the last six months, since I filed for divorce.

Can you name a major moral, political, or intellectual issue on which you've ever changed your mind?
Reading Entertaining Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman, about 20 years ago, changed my mind about almost everything.

My sense of what’s important is completely different than what I valued as a young person. I grew up thinking smart, ambitious women did important stuff like a job marketing consumer products or reading the news on a TV station. I fell into motherhood and discovered that it takes a lot more self-motivation and hard work than I ever imagined. Likely that job will have more lasting impact than any consumer product I could’ve ever marketed. I got cancer and realized that, while I’d been working in the media, breathlessly covering stuff like Michael Jackson’s Thriller tour, people in the field of oncology had been toiling quietly perfecting the treatment that would save my life, one incremental improvement at a time. That was humbling.

What philosophical thesis do you think is most important to combat?
1. “Whoever dies with the most toys wins”
1. The postmodern idea that says: “There is no truth. And THAT is the truth.”

I also have a secret wish: to cover up all those “S—t happens” bumper stickers with ones that say “Grace Happens”

If you could effect one major change in the governing of your country, what would it be?
I’m too apolitical to say much that’s intelligent on this. I just wish more average Americans understood what a fragile and rare thing our democracy is, what it takes to make it work, and how easily a society can fall into disrepair. I don’t mean to be too alarmist, but I think we are perilously ignorant.

If you could effect one major policy change in the United Methodist Church, what would it be?
Bring John Wesley back to life and have him rule General Conference with an iron hand again. It worked better when we had a dictator.

What would be your most important piece of advice about life?
Better to have a broken heart than a withered heart.

What, if anything, do you worry about?
What don’t I worry about? I’m a worrier.
My kids, my job, my finances, my future, my weight, my love life, my deadlines, my laundry, my tendency to worry too much….

If you were to relive your life to this point, is there anything that you'd do differently?
Not if it would mean I wouldn’t end up with exactly the same two beautiful children that I now have. But if we can guarantee that, I’d take more risks. I would’ve spent more time talking to more people and less time talking to myself.

Where would you most like to live (other than where you do now)?
Boston. Except for the fact that I don’t believe in reincarnation, I’m certain I lived there in a previous life.

What do you like doing in your spare time?
Favorite thing in the world: good conversation with friends over a good bottle of wine.
Otherwise, watching movies and BBC costume dramas, reading, exercising and sleeping. Making food for 18-year-old son, a football player and the world’s most avid eater, and watching my 15-year-old daughter dance.

What is your most treasured possession?
Kahlil Gibran says I don’t possess my children. I’ll cheat and say photos of my kids. If I had to pick just one, it’d be the Christmas card photo of both of them in the bathtub wearing Santa hats when they were little. Two cute smiling faces and two red hats surrounded entirely by bubbles.

What talent would you most like to have?
Wish I could sing or play a musical instrument, or both.

If you could have any three guests, past or present, to dinner, who would they be?
Film director Peter Weir. Jesus. Michelangelo. Hopefully they’d all speak some common language, like Esperanto or something, so that we could have a really good conversation. I’d take notes. Better yet, I’d ask Peter to bring a camera.

Caption Contest

Previous contest winners

WINNER: Ken Lowery: Phai Kwong's day only got worse when someone turned on the Benny Hill music.

Is the Decline of the UMC Tied to Doctrinal Laxity?

John Meunier takes issue with Thomas Oden's argument that a liberalization of UMC doctrine is a cause of the overall numerical decline of the denomination since 1968. John writes:

The connection from data to claim seems to be this: Doctrine is what drives church membership.

Here’s where I have several questions.

1) What evidence do we have that the “doctrinal problem” is a new problem? I seem to recall Karl Barth quite aggrieved by liberal theology long before 1968, for instance.

2) The 1968 figure is the peak for the UMC - since it was formed that year - but I’ve heard people say the peak for all the predecessor denominations was much, much earlier. Is this true? If so, what does this do to the argument?

3) There is at least one significant counter-thesis that says the big issue is that the UMC stopped building churches at just about the same time. These people connect the decline to our failure to build new churches where the new people were. If this is factually true, does that complicate the doctrine argument?

4) Do we have evidence about the role of doctrine in church membership or church choice among lay people?

5) Sociologists have remarked on the decline in membership and support for all sorts of institutions since 1968. Is there evidence that the UMC is caught in a sociological shift rather than a revolt over orthodoxy? If so, does doctrinal retrenchment offer the best possible response?

What do you think? Is there a causal relationship between a leftward shift in the UMC's teachings and numerical decline?

Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup #150

...is up.

The Mechanical Contrivium: Gavin Richardson

1. It took Gavin Richardson 22 years to build the Taj Mahal!
2. It is bad luck to walk under Gavin Richardson.
3. Gavin Richardson can use only about ten percent of his brain.
4. By tradition, a girl standing under Gavin Richardson cannot refuse to be kissed by anyone who claims the privilege!
5. It is impossible to fold Gavin Richardson more than seven times.
6. Gavin Richardson is 1500 years older than the pyramids.
7. India tested its first nuclear Gavin Richardson in 1974.
8. Gavin Richardson has little need for water and is capable of going for months without drinking at all.
9. When Gavin Richardson is swallowed, he will enter the blood stream within twenty minutes.
10. Gavin Richardson can smell some things up to six miles away.

Make your own here. Via Thinklings.

Integrity Matters

Radley Balko and Patterico have had a long-running debate about the validity of jury nullification. My own (legally ignorant) views are here. Patterico responds to Balko's argument that potential jurors should deceive courts during voir dire so that their own pro-nullification views are hidden:

Questioning designed to identify such jurors is not a “perjury trap” — it’s the only responsible way to select jurors willing to perform their duties as required by law. Those who, under oath, deliberately seek to mislead the court about their intent to nullify — these people aren’t honorable citizens.

They’re just liars — plain and simple. They’re no different from the penny-ante con artist on the street, who distorts the truth because it suits him to do so. Or perhaps the better analogy is to the cop who lies about probable cause, because he knows the perp is guilty. If you support dishonesty in support of The Greater Good, then surely you support cops who lie to put away the bad guys . . . right? Bueller? Bueller?

Is asking cops about probable cause a “perjury trap”?

The next time I read a piece by someone who openly advocates dishonesty in the pursuit of his views, I’d really have to ask myself: why should I ever trust a single thing this person says? If he would lie to a court — I’m sorry, deliberately misdirect a court — in support of his political views . . . then why wouldn’t he deliberately misdirect me?

Emphasis in original. This reminds me of a previous conversation that we've had. Integrity is more than just avoiding outright, direct falsehoods about an issue. It's about not even attempting to deceive anyone. As Jesus said:

But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes' or 'No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil.

HT: Instapundit

LOLCat Bible

From the LOLCat Bible Translation Project. Genesis 1:

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.
4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.
5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.
7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.
8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.
9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.
10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.
11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.
12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.
13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.

Via Ace. It's about time that LOLCat make this kind of headway into Biblical studies. The prominence of LOLCat may also be seen in the recent publication of a LOLMoses in The United Methodist Reporter.

General Conference: A Call for Transparency

Beth Quick is a General Conference delegate, and is seeing a little too much about how the sausage is being made. She writes about the need for Christians to be honest and forthright about their intentions:

As I think about the approaching General Conference for the UMC, one of the things I wish we would see more of is transparency in our actions. Cozying up to certain delegates in order to win their votes? Just say so. Offering a breakfast or lunch or dinner because you want to push a certain agenda? Please be clear about it. Attending mostly because you'll later be running for the episcopacy? Out with it! In the end, are you going to vote based on what's best for you personally, even if it conflicts with your stated ideals and theology? Just say so.

Why is it so hard for us to be transparent? Authentic? Honest? As people of faith, I think we're called to examine the reasons behind what we do. Why do we want more people to attend our churches? Is it because we have this good news we want to share, or because with more people our bills are easier to pay? Do we want young people in our churches because we value who they are and want them to experience God's unconditional love, or are we looking to our own survival? Why do we do what we do?

Lotion Soap Switch Angers Congregation

CHAMPAIGN, Ill. — Members at Avalon Baptist church were angered to discover that the soap used for years in the church restrooms was replaced by a new, economical foaming soap.

"You get this bubbly mound that disappears once you rub it in your hands," one man complained as he exited the restroom. "It’s all show, this new soap."

Others agree.

"What happened to the thick, slimy stuff?" one man asked. "That really worked." Last Sunday was supposed to be the kick-off of the church’s annual Missions Week. But the buzz in the foyer was about the soap change. Some suggested taking a special offering to restore the original liquid soap.

"You have to wonder about the leadership’s judgment, if they’re willing to make a poor decision like this," says one woman. "It signals weakness at the top."

Story Link.

Let Me In!

[YouTube Link] This is about a cat, but my rabbit Hyzenthlay acts just like this when she wants to be let out of her cage.

HT: Neatorama

Caption Contest

Previous contest winner

WINNERS:

Rev Ed: McDonner... Party of two, er... one.

Ken Lowery: There is such a thing as lovin' it too much.

Meeting DannyG

Methoblogger Danny Gmyrek stopped by my house to pay homage to Hyzenthlay and offer a fine tribute of Dunkin Donut muffins. Hyzenthlay was pleased and spared his life.

Danny and I had a great time. We ate breakfast together and talked about blogging and ministry. I made a video, but the file was somehow garbled. Here, at least, is a picture.

Great to meet you, Danny!

Hmm. I can't get the picture to load. It's like Danny is a vampire or something and you can't capture his image. Or something. That's the best I've got. I'm tired. I think that I'll go watch Spongebob.

Methodist Blogger Profile: Bill Fentum

Bill Fentum of UM Reporter Blog

I’m a lifelong resident of the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex, except for a few years spent earning a Radio-TV-Film degree at the University of Texas at Austin.

I’ve worked for the United Methodist Reporter since 1985, starting as a night-shift proofreader and taking on various other jobs before completely joining the news staff in 2002. Oddly enough, that’s also when I became a United Methodist, after deciding that the faith tradition in which I had been raised – the Church of Christ – just wasn’t the place for me any longer.

Both the church and UMR have been good fits for me, I think. I feel valued in my home congregation, as a single Christian with gifts to share in ministry. And at the office, I’ve had a chance to refine long-dormant writing skills, both as a news reporter and a frequent “Faith and Film” reviewer. Not a bad life, all told.

Why do you blog?
To share any faith-related story that has captured my own interest. And sometimes, to comment on stories in a way that I’d rarely have a chance to do in print.

What has been your best blogging experience?
I’m still waiting for that one, really. But receiving feedback always makes the time spent blogging seem worthwhile.

What would be your main advice to a novice blogger?
Be sure you have something pertinent to say about a topic. Then blog away, and blog regularly.

If you could only read three blogs a day, what would they be?
Probably religionblog.dallasnews.com, and a couple of film-related blogs: lookingcloser.wordpress.com and filmchatblog.blogspot.com.

Who are your spiritual heroes?
Jesus, the Apostle Paul, John Wesley.

What are you reading at the moment?
7 Myths of the United Methodist Church, by Craig Kennet Miller.

What is your favorite hymn and why?
Amazing Grace, because it so perfectly expresses the wonder of God’s saving grace.

Can you name a major moral, political, or intellectual issue on which you've ever changed your mind?
I’ve rarely experienced a complete reversal of thought on any issue. But one in which I’m still in flux, these days, is the debate over immigration.

What philosophical thesis do you think is most important to combat?
Any form of fatalism.

If you could effect one major change in the governing of your country, what would it be?
Any change that might ensure a more equitable healthcare system.

If you could effect one major policy change in the United Methodist Church, what would it be?
To eliminate guaranteed appointments.

What would be your most important piece of advice about life?
Cherish all ties with family and friends.

What, if anything, do you worry about?
Personal finances.

If you were to relive your life to this point, is there anything that you'd do differently?
I would spend more time making new friends, and being more generous in my relationships with others.

Where would you most like to live (other than where you do now)?
Almost any more rural environment than where I’ve spent my life up to now.

What do you like doing in your spare time?
A walk in good weather, watching a great movie, listening to music.

What is your most treasured possession?
Old family photos and letters.

What talent would you most like to have?
The ability to compose music. I’ve always considered it to be the most wonderful artistic gift anyone can possess.

If you could have any three guests, past or present, to dinner, who would they be?
Probably Alfred Hitchcock, Stanley Kubrick and Steven Spielberg . . . for one heck of a discussion on film.

Somehow, I'm Not Surprised

Richard Hall:

It’s been a while since I last wore a bra, but I don’t see why not

Sad News

Gary Gygax has died.

Food Fight

[YouTube Link] A condensed history of warfare, from WWII to the present, acted out by food products representing different countries. HT: Neatorama

lolChurch

Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

Thoughts on libertarianism

John Armstrong has a post on libertarian principles and Christian responses. l would say he oversimplifies things considerably, but since I know the pros and cons of libertarianism get debated here at Locusts and Honey from time to time, thought I would point it out . . .

Question of the Day: Clerical Collars

Today's Question of the Day is over at Andrew Thompson's blog, where he asks about the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a clerical collar.

It would have been nice to have a few clerically-collared shirts during CPE. Wandering around a hospital, it would be beneficial for my role and purpose (and authority to be present by security-minded staff) to be instantly recognized. Two of my colleagues wore clerical collars, and they were quite useful for that purpose.

In my parish town, I think that a clerical collar would be seen as pretentious, but in certain visitation situations, such as meeting those suffering from dementia, it could prove handy.

Andrew Thompson has a lively discussion going on the subject. Go there and comment.

Arguments Against Itinerancy

BUMPED TO THE TOP: This Saturday comment thread is starting to get active, so I'm bumping it up.

Donald W. Haynes has a list of arguments against clergy itinerancy:

* Clergy do not and cannot escape the realities of culture—we live in a two-income world. The plaintive cry I hear most often is, “My spouse cannot move or our family budget will be devastated.” Itineracy is creating “weekend marriages” where the spouse in secular employment stays behind during the week.

* Itineracy harms innocent victims. It separates patients with precarious diseases from access to their doctors, increases the burden of caring for aging parents, interrupts institutional care for children with physical or emotional handicaps and uproots people who provide childcare for grandchildren.

* Local churches no longer reflect the old pattern of cookie-cutter uniformity that used to make it easy for bishops to move pastors around. Because of today’s varying worship styles, demographics and church size, what works in one parish will be foreign to another, resulting in great frustration and conflict.

* Church analysts recognize that effective parish ministry calls for the transformation of congregational culture. This takes time—a long time. Researcher Lovett Weems defines culture as, “The way we do things here.” The pastor who is never in one place long enough to understand the culture cannot be a visionary leader.

* Americans are rallying around the word “change” in this election year, but what is the content of this change? In the itineracy model, change for laity means, “Just send us a new preacher,” and for clergy, “Just move me to a different charge.” But revolving-door itineracy never gets to the heart of church dysfunctionality. The old comic strip “Pogo” said it best: “We have met the enemy and he is us.” Real change often requires not medicinal salve but major surgery.

* Baby Boomers and Millennials increasingly resist models of authoritarianism. Even the corporate world today has few models of itineracy: management-level leaders change jobs rather than move.

* Local pastors are often used to fill the demand for pastors today. They are not forced to itinerate and many have compelling reasons for not doing so.

* Ordained deacons have neither guaranteed appointment nor required itineracy. The parallel “rails” of the two orders are indeed no longer parallel.

What do you think? Should the itinerancy system be phased out or modified?

Manterns

Scented candles -- if you're a married man, get used to the accursed things.

Or offer an alternative. Manterns: scented candles for me. With soothing aromas like "Bacon cheeseburger" and "Sawdust".

HT: Jeff the Baptist

Real Preachers of Genius

Mocking holyrollers and megachurches.
Part 1:

[YouTube Link]

Part 2:

[YouTube Link]

HT: David Wayne

One Great Hour of Sharing

This Sunday is One Great Hour of Sharing, a special Sunday celebrated by the UMC, the UCC, the PCUSA, the ABC, and several other Protestant denominations. It is a time to remember to live out our Christian love by giving out of our abundance to those in need.

At my church, we examined an experiment in giving. During last week's sermon, I gave out ten-dollar bills to four volunteers and asked that they give it to a needy person in our county. We talked about those experiences and a significant giving accomplishment in our church. Yesterday, we had a church conference that we called the Methodist Way, in which we brainstormed ideas for outreach. And we talked about the results of that meeting and introduced our new mission and vision statements, both of which have a missional focus.

Did your church celebrate One Great Hour of Sharing? What did you do to mark the occasion?

Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup #149

...is up.

Caption Contest

Previous contest winners

WINNER: TrueVyne: Where did Gary Coleman get the dough for a ride like that?