Commissioning Bleg

I have received and read my commissioning packet from my Board of Ordained Ministry. It is a frightening thing. I have under three months to write about 80-90 pages of text, not to speak of all the forms, examinations, and transcripts that must be generated.

The Florida Conference has completely depleted its supply of candidacy mentors, and so I have none, at the moment. That is highly unlikely to change before I submit my packet to DCOM in April, and BOOM in October.

To any readers who have served on Boards of Ordained Ministry in recent years or are currently serving as candidacy mentors: would you be willing to read and critique part (or all) of my commissioning paperwork if I can get it to you within sixty days?

Your assistance would be greatly appreciated.

This post will stay at the top until January 31. Scroll down for updates.

Google is Afraid of Chuck Norris

Go to www.google.com and type in find chuck norris. Then click the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button.

Via

"Only if we're doing it wrong."

That's my response to Catholic blogger Paul Smith's question about Protestant prayer practices.

Strikes me as a more of a Pentecostal thing to do. Or more likely the Emerging Church movement, which is always open to imaginative and innovative prayer practices. Gavin springs immediately to mind.

Hat tip to Jeff the Baptist.

Prayer is Not a Weapon or a Prop

While I'm waiting for the Florida Conference's server to send me a new password so that I can do Year-End Reports, I thought that I'd point out Michael Spencer's excellent post in which he condemns the practice of saying condescendingly to people "I'll pray for you" as a way of expressing disdain:

If that prayer request was put forward to make you look ________________ (fill in the blank), then it’s a show, not a prayer. It’s just another version of prayers said for an audience, similar to “I thank thee Lord that I am not like other men….such as Spencer over there.”

As I've written before, prayer is a sacred act before God, not a rhetorical prop to be used against other people. Keep it holy, folks.

UMC Considers Divestment From Israel

With the General Board of Church and Society leading the way, various annual conferences have moved toward divestment from Israel, and related resolutions will come up in this year's General Conference.

What I have not seen is a movement by the GBCS to divest from Palestine, which has formally and repeatedly advocated the annihilation of Israel. Unlike, you know, the Israelis, who have not reciprocated by annihilating Palestine.

Illegal Alien Claiming Sanctuary in UMC Congregation Vows to Remain

Flor Crisostomo, an illegal alien taking sanctuary in a United Methodist congregation in Chicago has vowed to remain in that church despite an impending deportation deadline:

Tears streaming down her cheeks, a defiant Crisostomo said she did not believe she was breaking U.S. law, nor did she see herself as hiding.

Really? She had no idea?

"I am taking a stand of civil disobedience to make America see what they are doing," Crisostomo said in a statement that was translated into English.

I think that you have to first be a citizen to engage in "civil disobedience".

UMC Holds Vote on Bush Presidential Library

The South Central Jurisdiction's Council of Bishops have kicked the decision over to the Jurisdictional Conference, which will meet in July.

Youth Ministry

A funny and clever analogy.

[YouTube Link]

HT: John Fletcher

Congratulations!

To Jim Morrow, on the birth of his son, Jackson Erik Morrow.

Caption Contest

Previous contest winner

WINNER: Tom Jackson:

"N6487J, we see your airspeed at zero and altitude at fifteen feet. Please explain."

Spiritual Gift Inventories

David Wayne offers an intriguing critique, suggesting that they are often less about giftedness and more about what people like to do:

I have seen it most commonly in people who fancy themselves to have the gift of prophecy. On more than one occasion I have heard such a person say "well, I guess I just don't have the gift of mercy" after they have emotionally run over someone.

On a deeper level most spiritual gift inventories are just spiritualized versions of temperament tests. Actually, in their place I find temperament tests very helpful and recommend them as good helps for people seeking to identify their strengths, weaknesses and best ways of working with others.

If we could leave spiritual gift inventories on that level - as helpful but not determinative, then I would be fine. The trouble is, spiritual gift inventories are often accompanied with teaching that says that each one of us is given one particular gift by God and we must identify it and use it. Thus, spiritual gift inventories rise to the level of "thus saith the Lord." Others are frustrated that they haven't taken an inventory so they don't know how to serve.

As part of the Annual Clergy Assessment process last year with my PPRC, I took a spiritual gift inventory. It said that I had the gift of prophecy. I guarantee you that I do not. But that result had tallied up because I answered questions to the effect that I enjoy examining Christian ethics.

Such inventories often cheapen the truth of spiritual gifts in order to ensure that congregations have "prophets" and "healers". But a prophet is not a person who studies Christian ethics; it is a person who receives direct spiritual instruction from God. The gift of healing is not about having a good bedside manner. It means someone who can lay on hands and instantly reverse medical ailments.

I find that the benefit of spiritual gift inventories is that they get laypeople talking about what they can and should do to in ministry. The potential pitfall that David Wayne correctly points out is that they can become an overly-strict framework for lay ministry.

UPDATE: Jeff the Baptist's assessment:

I've seen these tests become crutches and stumbling blocks to many. Some things are jobs every believer should be able to do, like evangelism. If I had a nickel for everyone who used the excuse "that's not my spiritual gift" to get out of a jobing they don't want, I'd have a healthy donation to the church building fund. As if Christ said "Go forth and make disciples of all nations... unless you're a Servant, you guys just show up at church workdays."

If you want to use these things in your church, just call them what they are, aptitude or personality tests. Explain to people that they can help them figure out their talents so they can use them to better the Kingdom, but that they aren't some sort of definitive source for spiritual insight and they don't absolve them of spiritual responsibility.

Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup #145

...is up.

The Challenges of Evangelism

Click on the image for a larger size.

Via Ironic Catholic

Shameless self promoting

Okay, so this post is 99% self-promoting. . . with the help of an awesome volunteer who oversees the technology for the local school district, my church has started making my sermons available as MP3 files online, both through our site and also on iTunes. I went today and subscribed to myself . . . not sure what that says about me.

My preaching isn't earth-shattering stuff by any means, but it is easy in my own mind to imagine that I am pretty good at it. Then I listen to myself, and I realize I have a long way to go. I preach with no notes at all, but do use MediaShout software to project the key points of my message on a screen for the congregation to follow along. I arrange my thoughts to follow the slides on the screen, and that gives me the mental framework for delivering my message. I know I could have a better delivery if I went back to manuscript preaching, but I'd rather keep practicing at preaching without notes until my delivery that way is as good as it would be with a manuscript.

So how do preachers get better, other than simple practice? I listen to those I respect the most. I have iTunes subscriptions to some preachers that I really like, and I think that in listening to them, my own preaching improves.

My question is for preachers out there - do you listen to your own preaching regularly? Do you have other preachers you listen to (or watch)? If you do either, does it help you get better?

Caption Contest

Previous contest winner

Via Neatorama

WINNER: Jeff the Baptist:

Oh, so that's the Air Force's new camouflage pattern...

Angry Priest Rant

A funny rant by a Catholic priest about the foibles of congregants:

Weddings:
1.When you call up to schedule your wedding, don't act all indignant when I ask who the hell you are, since you haven't been to church since your first communion.

2. And don't get in a little nuptial huff when I tell you can't throw rice, birdseed, confetti or any of that crap. Would you want to have to clean up a big mess of that junk from your house every Saturday afternoon? I didn't think so.

3.And do that damn paperwork, get all your certificates in. You'll be really glad you did should the day come when you have to get un-married.

4. Please get some control over your mothers. Your own outrageous demands are bad enough.

5. Have some pity on your poor priest, who has to put up with your ruse that you don't live together, your rude tardiness to your rehearsal, your showing up half-drunk, and the tasteless fashion decisions you make for your wedding party.

6. Oh, and if your forget to get a marriage license, it's not my problem. It's your marriage.

Mild language warning. HT: Anchoress

Pulpit/Stump

Andy Bryan asks if it is appropriate for churches to hold political rallies for individual political parties even if no particular candidate is endorsed. If you've read me for a while, you probably already know my answer.

Do Robots Have Too Much Power?

Related video.

The Passing of Lady

Cub marks the departure of an old canine friend.

Question of the Day

I've been enjoying the marvelous praise song "Days of Elijah", which includes the words:

Behold He comes! Riding on the clouds!
Shining like the sun! At the trumpet call
Lift your voice! It's the year of Jubilee!
And out of Zion's hill salvation comes!

This song, and some posts by Dan Trabue got me thinking:

How can and should the Church live out the Year of Jubilee described in Leviticus 25?

Image via OneYearBibleBlog.

"What Is Your Greatest Weakness?"

This is a common, but stupid job interview question. It was posed to the Democratic Presidential candidates at last night's debate. Jeff the Baptist on the question:

Have you ever had an interview for a position you realized you don't want? If that ever happens again, I'm just going to make something up and see what the interviewer does. "My biggest fault? I'm a pedophile. But I only indulge myself on my regular trips to Thailand. I figure I'm only there to smuggle heroine back to the States so it doesn't really count." Or "I'm incredibly flatulent, especially in enclosed spaces like elevators and interview offices. Must be my diet or something. Oh, excuse me."

Youth Ministry: The Essentials

Beth Quick asks:

I’m teaching a workshop about youth ministry for the district this weekend. My personal experience with youth ministry is mostly at the conference and jurisdictional level (I'm the conference youth coordinator for NCNY) – I have, actually, comparatively less experience with the youth ministry of the local church.

If you could make sure people knew one thing about youth ministry, what would it be? What are the most important things to know about youth ministry?

Caption Contest

This is, of course, a photo of me. The skeptical among you may suspect that this is one of Theresa Coleman's photoshops. Oh ye of little faith!

Previous contest winners

WINNER: Tom Jackson:

Come, O Thou Traveller unknown,
Whom still I hold, but cannot see,
You may have pinned that Wesley wimp,
But now you have to wrestle me.

[Tom's reference]

R2D2 Translator

I could pre-record my sermon on this thing.

HT: SmartPastor

Question of the Day

Is the veneration of icons compatible with Christian teaching?

Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup # 144

...is up.

Angels We Have Heard on High Played on a Piece of Broccoli

[YouTube Link] So this guy drilled holes into a piece of broccoli so that it became a functional recorder.

Hat tip: Neatorama

Can John McCain appeal to conservatives?

John Armstrong has a very interesting post today on why he thinks conservative talk radio seems to have such hatred for John McCain. I don't know what they'll do if he becomes the nominee of the GOP, but I always wonder how much the radio personalities really reflect the views of conservatives around the country. Why is it assumed that he repels true political conservatives? Does John McCain have to rely on moderates and independents, or can he attract conservative voters on his own record? Or if he does become the nominee, will conservative voters simply stay home and not vote at all? (an attitude that I find impossible to understand . . .)

Caption Contest

It's a picture of Gavin Richardson, BTW.

Thanks to Theresa for the photoshop. Or is it?

Previous contest winner.

WINNERS:

Allan Bevere: We are the Methoborg. You will be apportioned.

John Meunier: They said they'd take the tattoo off my butt. I should have asked about what else they would do. [Ed. -- inside joke]

Rev. Borg

DannyG on strange job titles at church:

A case in point is the "Minister of Assimilation " positon at our church and, as I have googled, many others. This usually is the person in charge of new members and, often times, recruitment (i.e. evangelism). You'd think that a title like "minister of membership" or "minister of recruitment" or something like that would be more clear and straight foreward. Instead, a $2.00 word is used when a $0.25 word would do fine. Then, there is the law of uninteded consequences: when I hear the word "assimilation" the first association that I have is "BORG". (J) had thought that I was just being sarcastic when I was talking about our Minister of Assimilation, but she actually read the staff list in a publication and there it was, the official title! She had the same thought that I did. We actually broke up laughing at the mental immage of a "Borg", in full vestments, declaring that "You will be assimilated, resistance is futile". Of course, perhaps that type of persistance would be a good thing, if not so scary an immage. I actually mentioned this to one of our senior pastors, and got a blank stare...apparently not a Star Trek fan. Now, I just wish that I was handy at Photo-Shop, to bring that mental immage to life!

A Map Showing the Average Age of Loss of Virginity

Via Gavin Richardson. Survey done in 2005 by the Durex Corporation.

Caption Contest

Previous contest winners

WINNER: Matt:

Hey... is that a real girl over there? Maybe this will get her attention!

Calling Your Opponents Un-Christian

Russ from Winterset is uncomfortable with Gov. Mike Huckabee calling political opponents "un-Christian":

I'm a Christian, and I would have to think long and hard before I publicly declared an opponent to be "un-Christian". I'd like to think that a minister would be just as sensitive, or even more so, to the meaning of that charge as I am. When a believer declares that someone is against the tenets of their faith, it's reasonable for an observer to believe that he's alleging that that person has staked out a position against God himself. That's not a charge to be made lightly. I've got no problem with making that allegation when your opponent is strongly pro-abortion or pro-euthenasia, but is opposing giving government benefits to illegal immigrants REALLY contrary to God's law?

That's my view, too. Previous thoughts here.

UPDATE: Me likey Fred Thompson:

A woman asked him if he would “as a Christian, as a conservative” continue President Bush’s programs to combat global AIDS.

“Christ didn’t tell us to go to the government and pass a bill to get some of these social problems dealt with. He told us to do it,” Thompson said.

“The government has its role, but we need to keep firmly in mind the role of the government, and the role of us as individuals and as Christians on the other.”

Preach it, Brother!

Tea Partay

[YouTube Link] New England bluebloods in a rap video, kickin' it Hamptons style.

HT: Instapundit

Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup # 143

...is up.

Decision-Maker

Via Bits & Pieces

Caption Contest

Previous contest winner

WINNERS:

Jeff the Baptist: You get what you pay for with those Russian mail-order brides.

RocksAlive777: Stan always wondered why it took her so long to get ready. Now he's sorry he asked.

Should Men Be Kicked Out of the Church Nursery?

Dr. Helen Smith responds to a reader e-mail about a church that banned men (in general) from the nursery.

Like any pastor, I have a healthy paranoia about such matters. A few weeks ago, when the church had a decorating day for Christmas, I made a run to the Family Dollar Store to pick up some light bulbs. A twelve year-old girl in the congregation asked to ride with me, and I had to tell her no. I explained why, and she understood.

I never meet alone with a woman under the age of fifty, but the demonization of men that Dr. Smith describes is abhorrent.

HT: Glenn Reynolds

The Star Wars Guide to the Presidential Candidates

Wherein candidates are matched to their respective Star Wars equivalents. Very funny.

HT: Neatorama

Merger of the UMC and ECUSA?

In our recent discussion about the sacramental authority of licensed local pastors, Tony Mitchell brought up one of the touted drawbacks of licensed local pastors serving the sacraments: that this practice is foreign to the Episcopal Church USA, and therefore prevents a full merger between the UMC and the ECUSA. Tony writes:

The issue of whether or not local pastors can offer communion is not one of theology but rather one of merger. My reading of the report on the ordained ministry (which I wrote about in "The Future of the Methodist Church")is that the church wants only elders to be able to "do" the sacraments so that merger talks with the Episcopal church may proceed.

Well, I suppose. But despite the historical roots of the UMC and ECUSA and how good it is to build Christian unity whenever possible, I'm not sure that this is a profitable direction for the Kingdom. I mean, the ECUSA is hemorrhaging in membership (even boasting of it), undergoing schism, is separated from the Anglican Communion, and has violated all of Christian history and practice by electing a homosexual bishop. Do we want to make major changes in our polity to satisfy our brothers and sisters in the ECUSA?

Why would we want to chain ourselves to a ship that may not make it back into port?

Surely revival should be a far more critical concern for both the UMC and the ECUSA than re-arranging our deck chairs.

Caption Contest

Previous contest winner

Via Bits & Pieces

WINNER: Matt: It was a sad day at the convent when Sister Mary Clemens finally admitted that her overpowering snowball arm was indeed aided by performance-enhancing drugs.

Question of the Day

Could you vote for an atheist for public office?

[cross-posted]

The Sacramental Authority of Licensed Local Pastors: A Modest Proposal

Previously discussed here, here, and here.

I would like to propose a solution to the dispute about whether or not licensed local pastors in the United Methodist Church should have the authority to offer the sacraments.

This solution is premised upon the notion that sacramental authority should be restricted to those who can understand the sacraments theologically, and not that the Service of Ordination gives a pastor the magical power to preside over effective sacraments. The sacraments are a means of grace, not magic, and are given by God, not by an earthly sorcerer.

Now, with that point prefaced: I can understand the earnest desire of the voices within the United Methodist Church to insist that only those who understand the sacraments should administer them. Elders are trained at great cost and examined carefully to determine if their sacramental theology is sound.

Currently, the Boards of Ordained Ministry vote annually on the fitness of licensed local pastors to serve in their appointments. In my own conference, this does not involve an interview, so I take it that the decision is fairly cursory as the Board moves onto its many other duties.

One of my professors, Dr. Kandace Brooks, argues that no one should offer the sacraments whose sacramental theology has not been examined. This is a sound argument. Therefore let the Boards of Ordained Ministry require that candidates for licensed local ministry write a paper on their understanding of the sacraments. Furthermore, let each candidate for licensed local ministry be interviewed by the Boards on the sole subject of the sacraments.

The benefit is that if this proposal is implemented, no one will offer the sacraments whose sacramental theology has not been examined and been found sound. The trade off is that the workload of the Boards of Ordained Ministry would increase substantially.

What do you think?

Christians and Santa Claus

Joshua Claybourn writes that Christian parents undermine the faith of their children when they teach them that Santa Claus is real:

Children are taught to believe in both, and when the non-existence of Santa becomes a reality in adolescence, God will likewise get scrutinized. The blatant lying to children about a figure they already associate with God cannot yield beneficial results. Anecdotally, I know of a number of folks who resent their parents lying to them about Santa, and if they lied about Santa, the belief is that they lied about God, too.

Should Christian parents teach that Santa Claus is real?

Hat tip: Joe Carter

In Praise of the Nick Seafort Saga

Recently, my wife presented me with used copies of the entire Nick Seafort Saga. I began reading this seven-volume science fiction series by David Feintuch for the second time. It has been a great joy.

I have never found a character in fiction as compelling as Nicholas Seafort, the central figure of these novels.

Beginning with the 1994 novel Midshipman's Hope, Feintuch's creation is a combination of Robert Heinlein's Starship Troopers, Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game, C.S. Forrester's Horatio Hornblower, and Jonathan Edwards' Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. Or perhaps, better put, imagine a science fiction series written by Richard Baxter, and you have the Nick Seafort Saga.

Nick Seafort begins his journey as a seventeen year-old midshipman on board an interstellar starship, making a year-long journey to a distant colony. After a series of fatal accidents, he finds himself the senior officer on board and therefore the captain. In the years that follow, he saves his ship and Earth from great calamities, often at the cost of the lives of the troubled young men who seem drawn to him.

Along the way, he maintains a very troubled relationship with the distant and harsh God that he knows. Nick's God is a reflection of his own stern father who was devoid of affection and was never pleased with Nick's performance or attitudes. Nick becomes convinced of his own damnation after breaking an oath, but maintains personal honor as the compass of all of his decision-making.

I am now reading the last novel, Children of Hope, written before Feintuch's death in 2006. Nick appears to be in his late 60s. His explosive temper has mellowed and been replaced with a gentle and forgiving manner. When a boy attempts to murder him, Nick's response is not to execute him, but to adopt him. When an old enemy appears, Nick sees an opportunity to find redemption that had been lost from him for forty years.

As I said, I know of no more compelling character in fiction than Nick Seafort. I highly recommend reading the Nick Seafort Saga.

Methodist Blogs Weekly Roundup # 142

...is up.

Case Study in Christian Ethics: Bribery

You are in charge of a church's mission efforts in a developing nation. Your church has assembled a large and expensive shipment of medical supplies for a Christian medical clinic in this developing country. But the shipment is stuck on the dock because a government official has insisted on a bribe before releasing the cargo. All attempts to pull strings in order to release the cargo have failed. Do you pay the bribe?

In Defense of Memphis-Style Barbeque

On the Memphis vs. Texas BBQ debate that we had a while back, I've firmly come out in favor of the pure beef of Texas. But I would be remiss if I did not have a kind word to say about the pork BBQ of Memphis served with Wonderbread and cole slaw:

I never fully understood Total Depravity until I had Memphis-style barbeque.

Epiphany Sunday Caption Contest

Previous contest winners

My many thanks to the Ironic Catholic for e-mailing me this photo.

WINNER: John Wilks:

I bet it's a pentecostal service. Spock and Benny Hinn pretty much have the same message- "live long and proper."

Just sayin'...

A Scam

I purchased a new truck a few months ago.

The phone rang today. The caller ID (useful in any parsonage) just says "Houston TX".

Me: Hello?

Computer Voice: The factory warranty on your new vehicle has expired. This is a courtesy call as a final warning that your new vehicle will no longer be covered by the factory warranty. If you would like to be removed from our notification list, press 2. If you would like to speak to a warranty representative, press 1.

Me: [Press 1, curious even though we have a signed warranty agreement from General Motors]

Customer Service Rep: Hello, I'm here to tell you information about extending the factory warranty on your new vehicle.

Me: What company are you with?

CSR: We're with AutoSolutions.

Me: I mean with what automaker.

CSR: We work with many companies.

Me: How do I know that you represent the company that sold me this vehicle?

CSR: Let me just transfer you to our warranty division.

Me: Okay.

CSR: First I need to verify some identifying information about yourself.

Me: Uh, no. I have no reason to believe that you represent the company that sold me this vehicle. I've received a number of scam warranty offers in the mail since I purchased this vehicle --

CSR: Really?

Me: Yes. So tell me the VIN of this vehicle that I purchased, and I'll know that you represent the company that sold me this vehicle.

CSR: I'll just go ahead and take you off our list.

Me: Ah, so it is a scam! I thought as much.

And then I hung up.

Parents Now Outsourcing Child Care Overseas

Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas

Geek Weddings

[YouTube Link] A photo montage of geek weddings and couples, set to the (seriously) touchingly romantic chords of a very topical song.

I like to think of the life to come, after I have shuffled off this mortal coil, as a dusty and slightly chilly gaming store. Friends are gathered around, my wife is at my side, and the air is filled with laughter over obscure, inside jokes. Such is bliss.

Hat tip: Neatorama

The Wrong Choice: Beth Quick

Beth Quick wants to be named United Methodist of the Year.


This, despite her shady connections to Colombian drug cartels.



What's wrong with the Quick candidacy?

• 55 million Americans are zombies, but Beth Quick has no plan to provide coverage from them.


• Beth Quick voiced her approval for Moveon.org's full page advertisement questioning Admiral Ackbar's patriotism.


• If Beth Quick's environmental protection plans were enacted, spice production would drop by a third within four years.

Beth Quick: wrong on zombies. Wrong on defense. Wrong on the environment.

Wrong for Methodism.

United Methodist Of the Year

Mary Jacobs is asking for nominations.

Caption Contest

Via Smart Pastor

Previous contest winner

WINNER: Allan Bevere:

In their misguided views of what it means to be relevant in society, the Methodists turn left on State Street while the Baptists turn right.

What If God Had a MySpace?

A music video by Bradley Bandara. It's both amusing and poignant.

[Video Link]

Rob Bell on blogging

The January-February issue of Relevant Magazine includes an interview with Rob Bell, pastor of Mars Hill in Michigan. Part of his response to the question of how he deals with criticism is:

"When the followers of Jesus can think of nothing better to do with their time than to pick apart and shred to pieces the work of other followers of Jesus who are trying to do something about the world, that's tragic . . . When a Christian can find nothing better to do with their time in the face of this much pain and heartbreak, you start realizing some Christians need to be saved. . . You have to be totally disconnected from the pain of the world to think that blogging is somehow a redemptive use of your time. I guess I have some strong thoughts on that." (emphasis mine).

Question: How can blogging be a redemptive use of your time? What are the unique temptations that blogging can present to Christians?

C-3PO Leggings

So geeky. So...hot.

I must order some for my wife.

Of course, she still won't wear the T'Pring outfit, so maybe it would be wasteful....

Biblical Support for Astrology?

I've been doing sermon prep today and have found a conundrum. One of the lectionary passages this week is from Matthew 2:

Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, magi from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying, "Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we saw His star in the east and have come to worship Him."

My secondary sources indicate that magi really cannot be faithfully rendered as "wise men", but that the Greek term truly refers to a diviner, astrologer, or magician.

Now only a fool believes in astrology, and the Biblical prohibition against witchcraft and divination is quite strong. That makes this passage difficult, as astrology guided the magi to Jesus. The magi are not condemned for occult activity, unlike Simon of Samaria, Elymas, and the sons of Sceva in the Book of Acts.

Happy Birthday Hyzenthlay!

Hyzenthlay is now five years old.