Good News, Honey!

My wife will be overjoyed to read this bit of health news.

HT: Insty

If Everything Was Made by Microsoft

A Photoshop contest from Cracked.

William Shatner? William Shatner. William Shatner!

Shatnerquake is a new book by Jeff Burk. Here's the premise:

It's the first ShatnerCon with William Shatner as the guest of honor! But after a failed terrorist attack by Campbellians, a crazy terrorist cult that worships Bruce Campbell, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner.

This is so Shatnerific that I'm having a screaming Shatnergasm right now.

HT: Topless Robot

Replacing Grant on the $50 Bill

Nate DiMeo has an interesting idea. Ulysses S. Grant was an effective general, and a nice guy, but an ineffective President. Boot him off and replace him with Frederick Douglass:

But setting the power of the actual image aside, Douglass is the man for the moment because he embodies a different kind of American power. It's a community organizer's power, in a way. He built constituencies. He went door to door, if only metaphorically. As an essayist, as a self-aware symbol, as a speaker, as a (nonregistered) lobbyist, Douglass moved the country toward an anti-slavery position. One could argue that the story of Harriet Tubman did the same thing or that, in its way, the storytelling of Harriet Beecher Stowe did, too, but Douglass was there at the center of a most critical and hallowed chapter in America's past. Recruiting African-American soldiers. Glad-handing politicians and then forcing theirs. Persuading the president to become the Great Emancipator. Pushing America to live up to its creed. That kind of track record is hard to argue against on a Sunday-morning roundtable.

Born into slavery, self-educated to high erudition, he held America up to its own rhetoric on liberty. He'd be a fine choice for the face of America.

A Middle Ground in Abortion

Is an unborn child a human life? This is the question that radicalizes the abortion debate in America. Steve Waldman thinks that the question forces us into a false dichotomy. He suggests that human life is a progressive continuum between less human and more human:

Open minded pro-lifers would take note of these concessions from their "enemies," viewing them as a sign that these pro-choicers--far from being hideous baby killers--fully embrace a moral dimension to the abortion decision.

Meanwhile, any pro-lifers who accept this framework would be making a concession, too. They'd be saying, in effect, that if the other side can concede that something precious is alive - and becoming more alive with each day - then they could, in turn, acknowledge that reasonable people, of different faiths, can disagree about when exactly that baby becomes alive enough to have legal rights.

My thoughts:

1. Waldman seems very focused on getting pro-choice and pro-life sides to be nice to each other. I'm more concerned with not killing babies than sparing the feelings of people on the other side of the debate.

2. Human life a continuum of becoming? Interesting idea. But when in doubt, I err in favor of not killing babies.

3. Would a developmentally disabled person be considered less of a human being in this new understanding of human life as a continuum?

4. Should murdering a developmentally disabled person be considered a less serious crime, perhaps on par with cruelty to animals?

Tales of Mere Existence

Tales of Mere Existence are the musings of writer and animator Levni Yilmaz. He's something of a cross between Woody Allen and Ira Glass. Here's a recent episode:

[Video Link] HT: Miss Cellania

Mapping the Seven Deadly Sins

I'm not sure if this is good science, but it is quite fun. Researchers at Kansas State University plotted data related to different sins in order to map their distribution across the U.S. The above map for lust, for example, was based on the rate of STD infection.

HT: Neatorama

The Weirdest Japanese Commercial Ever

And that's saying a lot. When it comes to weird stuff, the Japanese rule.

[Video Link] HT: Neatorama

Instructions for a Post-Apocalyptic World

In 1979, an anonymous group erected a massive stone structure in Elbert County, Georgia. This modern-day stonehenge is more than twenty feet tall and arranged to serve as a calendar and a clock. Its slabs have instructions in eight languages for reconstructing society after the collapse of civilization. The instructions are more philosophical than technological, but perhaps nonetheless prudent:


PROTECT PEOPLE AND NATIONS WITH FAIR LAWS AND JUST COURTS. LET ALL NATIONS RULE INTERNALLY RESOLVING EXTERNAL DISPUTES IN A WORLD COURT. AVOID PETTY LAWS AND USELESS OFFICIALS. BALANCE PERSONAL RIGHTS WITH SOCIAL DUTIES. PRIZE TRUTH—BEAUTY—LOVE—SEEKING HARMONY WITH THE INFINITE. BE NOT A CANCER ON THE EARTH—LEAVE ROOM FOR NATURE—LEAVE ROOM FOR NATURE.

If you were composing brief instructions for survivors of the collapse of civilization, what would you write?

HT: Instapundit

More from On the Road

I mentioned yesterday that I've started reading Jack Kerouac's On the Road. It is a fascinating read. Kerouac is a delicious writer. Here's one part that stood out as Sal Paradise continues his journey across America:

I wanted to go and get Rita again and tell her a lot more things, and really make love to her this time, and calm her fears about men. Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk-real straight talk about souls, for life is holy and every moment is precious.

I'd say that these words, though written in 1951, are still quite applicable. They inspired this 2007 song called "Stuck Between Stations" by indie rock band The Hold Steady.

Here's another passage from Sal's brief stint working as a police officer (the irony of which does not escape him). He is compelled to go along with other, more dutiful cops, to break up a party:

I sighed. Here we go. We went to the offending room, and Sledge opened the door and told everybody to file out. It was embarrassing. Every single one of us was blushing. This is the story of America. Everybody's doing what they think they're supposed to do. So what if a bunch of men talk in loud voices and drink the night?

Later, as Sal begins working his way back across America toward New York, he ends up working with impoverished Mexican laborers:

Guitars tinkled. Terry and I gazed at the stars together and kissed. "Manana" she said. "Everything'll be all right tomorrow, don't you think, Sal-honey, man?"

"Sure, baby, manana." It was always manana. For the next week that was all I heard-manana, a lovely word and one that probably means heaven.

Before I was born, my parents lived in Venezuela for two years. The dictionary definition of manana was "tomorrow", but they discovered that it was a polite way of saying "no." When a Venezuelan worker was asked to do something and he said "manana," it didn't mean that he was going to do it the next day. It meant that he wasn't going to do it at all. And Sal's life was all about scheduling responsibility for manana.

You Know What Would Be Fascinating To Listen To?

A Willie Nelson cover version of "When I Think About You, I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls.

On the Road by Jack Kerouac

This weekend, as I've run out of Stargate SG-1 episodes to watch online, I've found myself in the mood to tackle some serious literature. So right now I'm reading through Jack Kerouac's On the Road, one of the three essential works of Beat literature. Here's my favorite line so far:

A tall, lanky fellow in a gallon hat stopped his car on the wrong side of the road and came over to us; he looked like a sheriff. We prepared our stories secretly. He took his time coming over. "You boys going to get somewhere, or just going?" We didn't understand his question, and it was a damned good question.

It sure is.

Art Blogging: Frank Frazetta

Frank Frazetta (1928- ) is an American fantasy artist. A child prodigy, Frazetta began formal studies at the age of eight at an art school in his native Brooklyn. When the school closed, he began working on his own in the comics industry at the age of sixteen. His breakthrough came in 1964 with his creation of a promotional poster for the movie What's New Pussycat?, earning him a national reputation. Frazetta has been prolific throughout the comics and commercial sectors of the art world, and is particularly famous for his book covers.

Warning: Many of Frazetta's works are somewhat erotic, if not blatantly so. Click with care.
This is one of Frazetta's many depictions of Conan the Barbarian, made for the novel Conan the Adenturer. His compelling depiction of the violence and savagery of the Hyborian world has been credited with reviving the franchise in the 1960s.
Frazetta, perhaps more than any other artist, depicts the heroic life that every man dreams of.

This Is Inevitable When You Become a Parent

Honest Wedding Vows

Sometimes you should just keep the truth to yourself.
Honesty: Wedding

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Atom Originals | Honesty

The Federalism Amendment

Writing in The Wall Street Journal, Randy Barnett proposes that the Tea Party movement focus its agenda on passing this proposed amendment to the U.S. Constitution:

Section 1: Congress shall have power to regulate or prohibit any activity between one state and another, or with foreign nations, provided that no regulation or prohibition shall infringe any enumerated or unenumerated right, privilege or immunity recognized by this Constitution.
Section 2: Nothing in this article, or the eighth section of article I, shall be construed to authorize Congress to regulate or prohibit any activity that takes place wholly within a single state, regardless of its effects outside the state or whether it employs instrumentalities therefrom; but Congress may define and punish offenses constituting acts of war or violent insurrection against the United States.

Section 3: The power of Congress to appropriate any funds shall be limited to carrying into execution the powers enumerated by this Constitution and vested in the government of the United States, or in any department or officer thereof; or to satisfy any current obligation of the United States to any person living at the time of the ratification of this article.

Section 4: The 16th article of amendment to the Constitution of the United States is hereby repealed, effective five years from the date of the ratification of this article.

Section 5: The judicial power of the United States to enforce this article includes but is not limited to the power to nullify any prohibition or unreasonable regulation of a rightful exercise of liberty. The words of this article, and any other provision of this Constitution, shall be interpreted according to their public meaning at the time of their enactment.

Me likey. This amendment does not specifically address the rampant overspending that seems to be the primary motivation behind the Tea Party movement, but I would hardly be upset if this text was added to the U.S. Constitution. Or if the phrase "And we really mean it!" was tacked onto the end of the 10th Amendment.

There is a delicious whiff of revolution in the air. Tea Parties everywhere. The Governor of Texas talks about secession. Montana declares federal gun laws invalid within its borders. State legislatures pass sovereignty resolutions.

I certainly hope that Barnett's dream comes true and the states do call for a constitutional convention -- and that Congress complies. But if it does not, let us remember the words of Abraham Lincoln:

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or exercise their revolutionary right to overthrow it."

HT: Instapundit

Universalities of Human Ability

Via TigerHawk comes this fascinating Robert Heinlein quote:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

I've bolded the tasks that I have done, but I think that, with the right training, I could do them all.

What would you add to Heinlein's list?

Color-Coded Threat Level

Via Popped Culture

The Social Media Blues

[Video Link] A country song by Scott Rogers about a man trying to get a girl's attention online.

HT: Yes But No But Yes

Great Joke By/About Sigmund Freud

As told by his grandson Sir Clement Freud, who recently died.

Mild content warning.

HT: Ace

UPDATE: Correction. It's not necessarily about Siggy. But it's nonetheless quite funny.

Art Blogging: Yiying Lu

Yiying Lu is a Chinese-Australian illustrator and graphic artist. She was born in Shanghai and studied in Sydney and London. She is influenced by Rene Magritte, Salvador Dali, Shel Silverstein, among others. Lu currently resides in Sydney, where she is in high demand for commercial work.
Lu's commercial breakthrough came with Lifting the Dreamer, an illustration for a birthday e-card. Microblogging service Twitter acquired the work and it soon became iconic for that company as the "Fail Whale" -- a symbol of technical difficulties.
Five Minutes Metamorphosis (screen printed origami book, 2006).
I don't know what the title of this illustration is. But I think that it's awfully pretty.

Henson's 11

[Video Link] Eleven Muppets come together to pull off the ultimate heist: $150 million in cash from the most secure casino vault in all of Las Vegas. HT: Neatorama

Art Bloggin: Kuzma Petrov-Vodkin

Kuzma Petrov-Vodkin (1878-1939) was a Russian and Soviet artist. He was born in Khvalynsk, the son of a shoemaker. A child prodigy, he initially could only afford instruction in the studio of an icon maker. Later, Petrov-Vodkin acquired admission into a drafting school, where his teachers realized that his talents could propel him into the fine arts. He then transferred to a school in Moscow, from which he had the opportunity to travel to Italy and Paris. Petrov-Vodkin even exhibited at the Salon in Paris in 1908.

Returning to Moscow, he became associated with the Expressionist movement, then in conflict with more traditional artists such as Ilya Repin. Rejecting the Academic concept of fixed perspective, he asserted that the observer should be able to participate in a painting from multiple points of view, and was heavily influenced by Orthodox iconography.

Bathing of a Red Horse (oil on canvas, 1912, the Tretyakov Gallery).

Bathers (oil on canvas, 1917, the Russian Museum). Here, Petrov-Vodkin presents a classical Academic motif in a modern and realistic setting. Rather clever.

Girl with a Red Bandana (oil on canvas, 1925). All of the two-dimensionality of Orthodox iconography, but the precision of a classically-trained painter.

I Have Succumbed

Yesterday, I left my first tweet at my employer's twitter feed.

Surely, I shall soon be twittering toward Gomorrah.

Question of the Day

What is the best blog post that you've ever written or read?

Link to it in the comments.

Art Blogging: Boris Vallejo

If you've ever glanced at a fantasy novel, you've seen the artwork of Boris Vallejo (1941- ), a Peruvian-American painter. Dropping out of medical school, he studied at the Escuela Nacional de Bellas Artes in Lima. Vallejo immigrated to the United States in 1964 and thrived as a commercial illustrator for science fiction and fantasy novels. His characters are larger than life -- strong and brave hypermasculine men and sexy and seductive hyperfeminine women. Vallejo's appeal lies in his depiction of humanity at its epic best.

Vallejo married one of his models, bodybuilder Julie Bell, who herself has become a talented and prolific fantasy artist.

Warning: Vallejo's work often crosses the line into eroticism, so you may wish to click with care.

The Iron Warrior








The Broken Wing





Detail from promotional poster for the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie.

If the Shoe Fits

At the recent Summit of the Americas, Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega went on a 50-minute diatribe, much of which addressed the United States' historic oppression and exploitation of weaker Latin American countries.

President Obama did nothing to rebut or refute this attacks, causing some consternation among right-leaning bloggers.

But the thing is, we were imperialist jerks in Latin America for a century and a half. Maybe not so much anymore, but it's reasonable for Latin Americans to be kinda pissy about our periodic looting of their resources and interference in their governance.

The 10 Coolest Words the English Language Needs

If you've ever studied a foreign language, you've probably come across a word that can only be translated into English with a lengthy phrase because English has no functional equivalent. There's a Hebrew word that Bible translators had to describe by inventing the English word "lovingkindness", which always struck me as a nifty idea. It's a good thing to demonstrate lovingkindness. I know that I've learned words in French and Latin that I thought would be useful, but they escape my hazy memory at the moment.

Cracked has a list of 10 such words, my favorite of which is the German term backpfeifengesicht. This translates roughly as "a face badly in need of a fist." And we've all met people that really need to be punched. German has a word for it! How cool is that? Check out the whole list.

What foreign language word do you think that English should adopt?

The Ignominity of Jeans

Washington Post columnist George Will (left) beclowned himself last week with a column decrying men wearing blue jeans for everyday wear. No, I'm not falling for an Onion story, even though one would be hard pressed to compose a better parody of classist pomposity.

Will is getting appropriately pounded throughout the blogosphere, but I think that the finest fisking of his work is this majesterial column by James Lileks. I rarely read Lileks, but he has really proven himself this week with a comprehensive, biting, and subtle ripping of Will's elitism.

Photo via Michelle Malkin. Dude, yellow pants? Seriously, yellow pants? Fashion maven, heal thyself.

My First Dictionary

My First Dictionary is a hilariously dark satire on modern life in the form of a children's dictionary. HT: Neatorama

Emergency Recall Alert

Here at The Zeray Gazette, we strive to provide you with important public safety information, so I'd like to pass along this recall of U.S. currency currently being sponsored by the federal government.

Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall Of All US Dollars
Act now -- while there's still time to save your family!

"Bohemian Rhapsody" on a Classical Guitar

Watch Classical Guitar Bohemian Rhapsody on CollegeHumor

Finding Your Superpower

James Rummel begins a marvelous post entitled "Desperate to be Special" with these words:

I once knew a girl who was convinced that she could control street lights with her thoughts.

It turns out that this misconception was based on faulty headlights on her car activating street-level light sensors, which he fixed -- and then her magical power disappeared. The lady was not pleased with James because she had invested so much hope in discovering something unique about herself, and now he had dashed those dreams:

Of course, the girl was not too happy that I proved she wasn't some sort of sorceress. She was pretty damn cute, which I thought was special enough for anyone. But she wanted more.

What did I learn? Avoid bringing reality into the conversation if I want to get in to an attractive woman's pants.

There is a bit of a corollary with so-called chi based martial arts. Those are where someone claims to have such a mastery over their body's energy field that they gain Jedi super powers. Hardening their skin to resist injury, instantly healing serious injuries in case the skin hardening wasn't enough, and injuring other people without having to touch them and see how hard their skin is, are just a few of the supposed effects one can achieve.

I am a bit leery about any attempts to debunk such claims, particularly if the person voicing them is an attractive woman whose pants I want to unlock. It seems to me that anyone making such claims, and who actually believes them, has an emotional need to find something extraordinary about themselves. Proving them wrong will result in their humiliation. If there is no compelling reason to do this, then my policy is that it is probably best to live and let live.

Emphasis added. This was the point of a short film that I posted a while back about an ordinary man trying to find out his superpower -- not if he had one, but what it was. And I heard it a lot in Christianese, in which talents became "spiritual gifts" and interests became "callings". All of these expressions are rooted in a desire to be more than we are. It's cognitive dissonance kicking in, trying support the pre-existing thesis at any cost. People like James who undermine such visions, no matter how much individuals might benefit from such truth-telling, are seldom thanked for it.

Nobody Tell Gavin Richardson About This New Technology

He's an "early adopter" on everything, and we need to prevent him from jumping into this one: an office chair has been equipped with sensors to publish a tweet on a twitter feed every time someone farts on it.

HT: Neatorama

An Origin Story!

That's what I need! Wolverine, Batman -- what makes them compelling characters is that they have an extraordinary origin story. So I need to have one, too. Something gripping that will fire the imaginations of readers. Any suggestions?

Star Trek Jokes

Miss Cellania is a pro blogger and compiler of all things funny. Here are a few selections from her list of Star Trek jokes:

Question: What did Picard say as Data struggled to repair the Marclosian Stitching Machine?Answer: "Make it sew."

Question: How many of the Enterprise's senior officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?Answer: All of them. One to screw it in, and the rest to debate the moral implications.

Question: How many TOS landing party members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but the extra red-shirt will die in the attempt.

Question: How many Voyager crew members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: However many it takes, you can be sure a shuttlecraft will be destroyed during the attempt.

Read the full list here. HT: Neatorama

Jim Henson's Resident Evil 5

[Video Link] HT: Ghost of a Flea

Talk to Your Kids about Cooties

[Video Link]

Kidnapping Your Ex's Current

KIDNAPPING CAITLYNN from Jason Biggs

Kidnapping Caitlynn is a dark comedy about about a woman who decides to kidnap her ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend -- and drag her unwitting current boyfriend into the mess. Starring Jason Biggs of American Pie infamy. Run time: 10 minutes.

Profanity warning.

Art Blogging: Coco Chanel

Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel (1883-1971) was a French modernist fashion designer. She was born into an impoverished family in the Loire valley. At the age of twelve, hardship forced her into a convent school, where she learned sewing. Affairs with wealthy men introduced her into the world of the decorative arts, as well as provided the financial backing necessary to launch her own line. By 1913, her hatmaking had brought her to the attention of the Paris fashion world. Her voice was a dominant one during the Art Deco period, ended only when she closed up her businesses at the onset of World War II. She returned from retirement in 1954, although her later works were not as popular in Europe as they were in the United States.

Chanel broke with the fin-de-siecle norms of elaborate dress for a more reductionist approach that emphasized simplicity and comfort. She was instrumental in the development of the vertical-lined flapper dress, which was modeled men's on work clothes and military uniforms. This creation eventually morphed into the proverbial "little black dress." Chanel thus redefined femininity for a generation.

Jacqueline Kennedy's pink suit, stained with blood on the day that her husband was assassinated, is often attributed to Coco Chanel. This is not entirely accurate -- it was an American-made knock-off of a Chanel work. The infamous pink suit does, however, reflect Chanel's invention of the women's suit -- a simple work of straight lines and forms.

The Value of Running

Jeff the Baptist on the importance of being able to run:

It always amazes me when self-proclaimed serious self-defense enthusiasts are fifty or more pounds overweight. Some of them smoke like chimneys. Now I'm no pro athlete, but I try to keep myself somewhat healthy. Why? Because the first skill you want to have down for self defense is running away. Hotfoot your ass out of trouble. I can do that. My knees will be sore the next day, but the alternative is even less appealing.

A couple of weeks ago, my wife burst into the apartment gym where I was running, and told me that the baby was running a 104 temperature. So I ran back to the apartment to get her ready to go to the ER. And later I thought "This is exactly why I run -- so that I can run when I absolutely have to." There's no substitute for the ability to move quickly in an emergency.

This is also why I have my rule about shoes: I only wear shoes that I can run in, hence my 'no flip-flops' moratorium. You never know when you're going to have to run, so always be ready to do so.

Make Love, Not Math

Do Not Get an Easter Rabbit

Bunny lovers like myself start worrying at this time of year because some people buy and sell rabbit kits as "presents" for Easter.

Don't do this. Do not ever give a rabbit -- or any other animal -- as a gift.

A rabbit is not a toy that can be shoved into the closet after you get bored with it. It is a living creature with physical and emotional needs. The decision to buy a rabbit should not be a casual one.

As the House Rabbit Society says during this time of year "He's not a child's toy. He's a real, live, 10-year commitment."

Zoo of the Dead

[Video Link] A short zombie film by Alex Poutianinen. What's remarkable about Poutianinen's work is that he tells good stories with the cheapest of materials. I think that what makes his films work is his precise camera movement and careful audio work, in much the same way that a storyteller can create a mental scene with little to no visual aids.

HT: Popped Culture

On the Value of Riches

Peter Bregman on the way that the pursuit of money controls us:

Because the research is clear. Above a basic threshold, more money doesn't make us happier. But we think it will, so we do all sorts of things that make us unhappy in order to get it.

A senior leader in an investment bank called to tell me she was leaving her job. She realized she wouldn't make much money in the next few years and didn't want to miss her children growing up. Did you get that? She was willing to miss her children growing up if the money was good enough.

People act in ways they'd rather not in order to make money that doesn't make them happy. Maybe, if we do this downturn right, we can get out of that cycle.

Well, it's true that money does not buy happiness, but I do think that can do a fine job of leasing it, and it's probably a more effective purchasing agent of happiness than poverty. It's possible -- and very commonplace -- to overstate the maxim "money can't buy happiness."

I've worked for causes and movements and things larger than myself, and they have only left me impoverished and disillusioned. Now I work for money -- especially since, as a husband and father, I have a moral obligation to provide for my family instead of my ideological predispositions.

Money can't buy happiness, but it rents peace of mind, if only temporarily. The poor person often lives in fear because options that require payment are beyond him:

• "Can I take my cat to the emergency vet right now, or must I simply wait and hope that he gets better?"


• "Can I afford to hire an attorney instead of using this overworked, under qualified public defender?"


• "If I am quiet enough, will the landlord pounding on the door and demanding rent believe that I'm really not at home?"


• "Will the car start this morning and get me to work?"

To be poor is to live closer to the precipice of losing so much, and to be rich is to have increasing distance from those dangers. Money cannot buy happiness, but it can buy essential components thereof, such as health and security.

It is possible to go to far, as in the example that Bregman provided, to seek greater wealth at the expense of one's family. But only the wealthy can afford to muse about downshifting their lifestyles. I am reminded of a line from Man of La Mancha, in which Don Quixote enters the inn, and a woman working there questions that this lunatic in rusty armor can afford to pay. But the innkeeper has already discerned that Quixote is wealthy. "Of course he can pay. Since when did a poor man ever have enough time to go mad?"

Bregman was able to afford to reduce his household earnings and establish a lifestyle that was more emotionally fulfilling for his family. Good for him. But he should recognize that few people in this world are in a position to do so, and the poor who think that they will be better off rich are not deficient in wisdom.

HT: Jockeystreet

Zombie Outbreak in New Orleans

The Times-Picayune:

A Metairie resident is recovering after a stranger bit a chunk of flesh out of his arm and swallowed it Saturday afternoon.

Joseph Lancellotti, 67, told authorities he did not know the suspect, later identified as Mario Vargas, 48, or why he was attacked in his front yard.

Hospitalizing Lancellotti isn't going to help him, and only places more people in danger. Part of being able to survive a zombie attack is a cold-blooded willingness to face reality, as the titular hero in Shaun of the Dead did when his own mother turned.

HT: DoublePlusUndead

I Love This T-Shirt

Link via Great White Snark

50 Things that Every 18-Year Old Should Know

John Hawkins has a list of suggestions, often similar to my own set of personal laws. What would you add to the list?

HT: Dr. Helen

UPDATE: I think that I'll add some of my own, as I still have a few minutes left on my lunch break:

1. When you move out on your own, invest in a basic set of tools: hammer, screwdrivers, and box-end wrenches, both English and metric.

2. Keep a minimum $2,000 reserve in your bank account at all times.

3. Go to work. Drop trou, bend over, get used to it. Note: you can often choose who you're bending over for, and some pay better than others.

4. Be prepared to move anywhere in the country to find a job.

5. You will not meet and loose the love of your life before the age of 25.

6. You have more options than you think that you do.

7. No one has a right to abuse you, and you have no duty to suffer abuse from anyone.

TARP Explained

The Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP) that is bailing out ailing U.S. banks can be tricky for laymen like me to understand. Thankfully, there's a slideshow in The New York Times that boils it down to short points.

HT: Cafe Hayek

The Rise and Fall of the Nazi Dinosaurs

[Video Link] A stop-motion film produced by Alex Poutianinen for a mere $20. It's about American commandos exploring an abandoned Nazi research station in Antarctica at the end of WWII.

HT: Popped Culture

Wolverine vs. Rorschach

[Video Link] Via Geekology.

Pretty funny. I saw Watchmen a few weeks ago, btw. A seriously hard-boiled movie. Don't see it if you want something to cheer you up. Not a date movie. Not as bad a date movie as Teeth (possibly the worst date movie ever made), but expect to stagger out of the theatre depressed. Also: more male full frontal nudity in an American film since the director's cut of Earnest Saves Christmas. That may be a plus or a minus for you, I don't know.

Caption Contest

Pictura via Bits & Pieces

Previous contest winner.

My Extremely Uninformed Opinion on the Martial Arts

tgace:

While Kyudo is called a “martial art”, I doubt that any Kyudo practitioner has delusions of being “combat effective” or believe that they are training in an art that will provide them with “street survival” skills. However I do believe that there are practitioners of various stylistic, meditative and “traditional” arts that DO believe such things. These are the people who believe that working on their “Chi” rather than their punching skills or physical conditioning will help them survive a confrontation. They are the people who think that a fight will somehow adhere to the protocols they follow at the dojo. These are the people who equate “martial art” with “combatives”. A Kyudo practitioner is not the same as a historic Japanese combat archer. A sport fencing master is not automatically someone who could survive a real sword fight and a master in a “martial art” who has never faced a resisting opponent should not be presumed to be more likely to prevail against someone who has.

In college, I studied the Afro-Brazilian martial art known as Capoeira for a year, and American-style boxing for two months. The latter was, by a very long way, far more practical. As the title to this post suggests, this is an extremely uninformed opinion, but I think that in an actual brawl, victory will probably go to the person to gets the heaviest blows in first, and most of these will come from fists.

Capoeira was a lot of fun and is very pretty to watch, but I think that this clip from a movie is a good representation of its practicality:

[Video Link]

Capoeira requires far too much maneuvering room, its acrobatic kicks and cartwheels make one vulnerable to being thrown off-balance, and the constant movement wastes energy. Boxing, on the other hand, taught me two things: (1) how to throw a punch and (2) how to take one. I think that most fights would be composed of these two activities.

But I'm really just guessing. I haven't been in a fight since I was 19, when four teenagers that I had never seen before (or since) came after me. So I ran. They just touched me before I got to safety.

If I ever were to study a martial art again, I'd choose something entirely pragmatic, like Krav Maga.

HT: James

Fun Facts You'll Learn from Presidential Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin After You Get Her Drunk

Calvin Coolidge was nicknamed “Silent Cal” due to his talent for sneaking up behind political opponents and garroting them with piano wire.

The Baby Ruth candy bar was, in fact, named for Grover Cleveland’s daughter Ruth, the first baby born in the White House. Coincidentally, the Clark Bar was named for President James Buchanan’s “very special friend” Clark.

Lyndon Johnson famously angered pet lovers by lifting his beagles up by the ears for the amusement of the press, despite having been repeatedly admonished for pulling the same stunt with his daughters.

Read the rest.

One Second After

I am totally psyched about the new William R. Forstchen novel: One Second After. It's about people trying to survive after an EMP attack destroys America's functional electronics.

Forstchen is the author of the Lost Regiment Saga, a series in which a Union infantry regiment is catapulted to an alien world through a wormhole and must fight to liberate its new home.

He's co-authored a number of books with Newt Gingrich, but I haven't thought much of them. He brings a lot of attention, but I can't say that Gingrich's involvement improves the writing.

One decent Forstchen/Gingrich novel was 1945. It's an alternate history in which the U.S. and Germany never went to war after the Pearl Harbor attack. The U.S. crushed Japan in 1945, and Germany won control over Europe. Realizing that it cannot beat the U.S. to the atom bomb (which was never fast-tracked with the Manhattan Project), Germany decides to launch a daring commando raid at Oak Ridge, Tennessee to destroy the nascent atomic program.

Thankfully, One Second After is a solo project, so it should prove to be very good.

HT: Instapundit