Dean Snyder Exposed!

No, this isn't a low-end version of Girls Gone Wild.

It's the awful truth that the Methodist blogosphere needs to face.

It is possible that in the past, Dean may have been a peaceful, loving, neighborhood pastor, nurturing his flock. But no longer.

In betrayal of Christian principles, Dean has recently undergone full cybernetic conversion.

Where there once was a hand to greet vistors to Foundry UMC in Washington, D.C., now there is a railgun to blast nearby Republican Senators into bits.

The lightly-sunburnt skin of a Marylander has been replaced with titanium-alloy armor capable of deflecting a direct hit from the main gun of a M1 Abrams tank.

See those protrusions sticking out of his shoulders? Tactical nuclear weapons (not that there's anything wrong with that -- Second Amendment, remember?).

To those of us who know Dean, his recent decision comes as no surprise -- I mean, what sort of man keeps an office chair consisting entirely of human skulls glued together? The refusal of his terrified Staff-Parish Relations Committee to do anything about this growing menace has led to this present state.

To his credit, since this recent change, no one has sneaked out of the sanctuary midway through his sermons. And at the recent Annual Conference, he was very a 'persuasive' speaker.

But still, our bodies are supposed to be temples. Dean has made his into a Death Star. It's time for an intervention.