Saturday, September 24, 2005

Ill-Conceived Children's Sermons

From Dr. Timothy Jenney, my NT prof:

1. David and Goliath: Divide the kids into two groups. Distribute slingshots to the first group and have them gather 5 smooth stones each from the church parking lot. Give the second group helmets [bike helmets will work] and wooden swords. Let the sides fight and see which one God supports! If time permits, demonstrate the proper method of beheading a giant.

5. Daniel's prayer time: Find a lion. [Any large predator will do, even a really hungry alligator, if you minister in Florida.]. Shut it and the children together in a small room. Positioning yourself in a safe location, encourage the kids to pray. I guarantee all the kids' prayer levels will increase dramatically after the first one is eaten! [But hey, you can't make an omelet without breaking some eggs.]

7. Sin offerings: Demonstrate the proper method of preparing and roasting a whole burnt offering. Explain how each Israelite who sinned had to bring a lamb from his/her family flock as a penalty. To help make the lesson more memorable, have each child bring one of their pets from home. Select one or two of the kids who have been giving you the most problems and have them bring their pets forward. Now, slay them in the proper biblical pattern...

Read the rest.

1 comment:

Beth Quick said...

Excellent ;) I was looking for some fresh ideas for children's sermon. These will really bring the scriptures to life, eh?