GREENVILLE, S.C. — Cartoon actor SpongeBob Squarepants checked into an Exodus International program Wednesday, hoping to leave behind a life of homosexuality he now dubs "duplicitous and shameful."
The celebrity sponge said through a spokesman that he intends to immerse himself in the Christ-centered program.
"For years, SpongeBob has struggled with his sexual identity," said his spokesman, reading from a prepared statement. "He hopes to emerge from this program cleansed."
Other gay children's characters expressed disappointment. Bert and Ernie of Sesame Street told reporters SpongeBob is "denying who he is."
"He's setting us back fifty years," Ernie said from his and Bert's Upper West Side penthouse.
Praise God! Sponge Bob is on his way out! Or back in. Or something like that. Now if only we can convince Scooby and Shaggy to get the help that they need.
Via Lark News
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
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7 comments:
If only Ellen and Rosie would take his cue.
Duh, Bob! Ellen and Rosie are just TV characters. They aren't real.
Refreshingly cute, yet with a point!
does this mean that he can be on pbs again? did the tinkywinky ever get help? or did he just go off the air, thus no one cares anymore?
That's what people say about me. They say, "John, you're perverse!" Or something like that.
Maybe Patrick the Starfish is the real "Crabby Patty" and ol' Bob got tired of trips to the free clinic.
Ah, but I think that Lenny the Shark is unrepentant.
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