Mark Winter and John Battern (in Theresa Coleman's comments) have written about the declining presence of men in the Church.I haven't picked up on this trend. But I have noticed that the children at my two most recent churches are overwhelmingly female (about 5 to 1).
A few years ago, John Eldredge wrote a book called Wild at Heart, which asserted that modern Christianity emasculates men.
Why do you think men are leaving the church?
13 comments:
I'm not sure I agree with the premise. I don't think it's any different than it ever was. In my grandfather's day, there were more women than men in the sanctuary every Sunday morning. "Religion" has often been seen as more emotional and less logical by many. That in itself would show a trend toward more women than men. Those are all rough stereotypes, though.
Interestingly, at my church around 10-15 years ago, the demographics were a part of that trend -- many women and children, but few men. After a season of prayer the men started showing up too. Today most of the families in my congregation are represented by both man and wife.
Throughout the history of American Christianity, women have always been more involved in religion than men.
Noting David's comment, I wonder why it may have been that women have been more involved in religion in American history? Any theories? I was thinking about male gender stereotypes and the differences across cultures. In much of the Middle East and Asia men are not so emotionally stunted. Certainly, the images we have of the Apostles demonstrate a counter example to our American stereotypes of masculinity.
I am not completely convinced that men have historically been absent in American Christianity, though. Perhaps they have been in certain regions for varying reasons. It may also be that the decline of male participation coincides with the frontiersman image popularized at the end of the 19th century. It was from this romanticized image that we ended up with the John Wayne stereotype for American males. But that image still retained some morally redeeming qualities. Now what heroic and romantic images do we have of the modern American male?
My son (12) hates going to church. He will go to small group worship meetings and youth group. He says
1. he doesn't like sitting quietly for so long
2. he doesn't like the music, hymns, organ, and choir
3. he doesn't like all the old ladies telling him to "knock it off" whatever he is doing
I've wondered if boys are just so wild that parents would prefer to leave them at home than try to deal with them at church.
If so, we must find a different way of doing church. Something, anything to nurture half of our population in Christ.
Welcome back to the blogosphere, David. I haven't seen you in months.
There are 3 families in our church who don't "require" their sons to go to church. The boys range in age from 4-17.
Before anyone comments on the older ones "choosing" whether to go to church - I guess we (Joe and I) are old fashioned, but as long as we were/are responsible for our boys (either lived at home or received ANY financial assistance from us) they WENT/GO to church somewhere. It wasn't always with us, but they HAD/HAVE to go. (One is married and one is in college.One has a choice, one doesn't.)
Betty
In my experience, I have found that men are typically uncomfortable talking about LOVE. They're ok with being protectors and standing up for the right thing (whatever that may be), but LOVE is too "girly" or "emotional". At least this has been what I have gathered from scattered conversations.
Pride is also another consideration, though those I've spoken with would deny that word. Men are used to being "in charge". To be told by a preacher (especially a FEMALE one!) that they could actually be wrong or misguided just will not fly.
I think we have to be very careful in approaching this subject and look under the rocks to see what crawls out.
I don't agree with a lot of the Wild at Heart premise, for example, because much of it seems to me to be a thinly veiled attempt at giving yet another reason why women should not hold leadership roles in church. E.g., "See what happens when women lead? It emasculates the men!"
We need to consider the sources of the theories of lower male participation before we accept the arguments.
Marie,
I hope you didn't take what I said about female pastors as a reason to keep females from the pulpit because that was not my intent. Rather, I am only offering what has been offered to me by male "former" parishioners.
I wonder if it's because men are not as comfortable talking about feelings -- they would rather DO something. Action vs. words.
Whenever we have a specifice service project to do, we usually have more men than women. Big Mission projects like going to Gulfport to putting together packets like Health Kits or Flood Buckets. Even cooking for Wednesday night dinner.
We have more women than men for things like intercessory prayer and support groups.
Just makes me wonder.
Michael, no I wasn't bothered at all by your post, don't worry. I understood what you were saying and agree with it.
I was speaking from my experience that in some conservative evangelical circles (such as the seminary I went to, not ATS) the complementarian focus is protected at all costs. The Wild at Heart book is used as yet another piece of evidence why women leaders are unbiblical.
That's what I was trying to get across!
marie
Marie,
I've actually heard from men (and even some women) who have insisted that a female does not have a role in the pulpit. These men, however, are grasping for straws and will use whatever excuse they can find. Incidentally, when asked to quote from the Scripture that portion that prohibits women, they can't.
Maybe it is what Rev Mommy says about being emotionally constipated (Rev Mommy, I know you didn't say THAT!). Submitting to anything or anyone is, for many, a sign of weakness, and our culture just will not allow this.
I think a lot of it has to do with the selfishness that we encourage in boys and men, and which occurs naturally in our sin nature. Guys like to be their own boss. They don't want to submit to the words of a preacher telling them not to do the things they want to do, especially the no pre-marital sex thing.
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