Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Question of the Day/Blogwar

What Kind of BBQ Does God Prefer?
North Carolina
Kansas City
Free polls from

Inspired by Mark Winter. In the comments, he and Greg Hazelrig are exegeting the Gospels to determine the answer.

UPDATE: My esteemed father who was raised on the outskirts of Memphis e-mails:

I think the BBQ flavor in the meat is most important which has to do with cooking technique and not the sauce used. Pork and chicken BBQ are the meats to use and Texas restaurants mainly use beef or maybe only beef. NC also makes some good flavored meat. NC is a more sweet BBQ flavor and Memphis BBQ is more vinegar based. Good BBQ does not need a sauce poured over the meat but if I use a sauce I prefer BBQ hot sauce on BBQ meat which has very little ketchup in it. Your mother and I don't put a sauce on BBQ sandwiches where we purchase them. The Memphis favored slaw is the only type of slaw (mayo and lemon juice based) that I like on BBQ sandwiches with tempers the hot sauce. If I really want to enjoy the BBQ flavor of the meat, I don't add slaw.


Joel Thomas said...

I am dismayed that any right-thinking person would pick other than Kansas City. This is an issue worthy of schism, if ever there were one. I simply can't live in the same tent with someone who is theologically grounded in Memphis or Texas barbecue, for example. Sometimes, we just need to speak the truth in love.

TN Rambler said...

No one is asking you to live in the tent...just to eat in it. And if BBQ is what you're gonna eat, then you need to be eating Memphis PORK with coleslaw and pinto beans.

Shalom ya'll,

Joel Thomas said...

Well, certainly, people who like Memphis barbecue can't be blamed for their orientation. However, if they act on that orientation, that is certainly sin. Those who actually eat Memphis barbecue aren't qualifed to be members, because they are unrepentant. Blasphemy must not be tolerated!

Andy B. said...

All this carnivorousness ... disgusting.

TN Rambler said...

Andy, do you want a second helping or not?

Keith Taylor said...

Kansas City IS NOT BBQ. It is cow meat cooked on a grill! There is nothing wrong with cow meat cooked on a grill, but IT AINT BBQ!

BBQ is Chopped PIG with RED SAUCE and cole slaw.

Anything else is HERESY in the BBQ Dept.

BTW, Yeller Sauce or White Sause or that Vinegar crap they use in the Carolinas is purely Satanic in nature and should never be allowed!

Mark Winter said...

Obviously you fellers are speaking out of ignorance. If you've never eaten Texas slow-smoked brisket, then how can you knock it? And if you have eaten it, you wouldn't be knocking it. But just in case there's an aberration out there who has eaten brisket and still doesn't like it...well...may there be mercy on your immortal soul.

Marilyn D.zdbxuhfd said...

Why are we even voting? Memphis is the only real barbecue - the rest are just envious of that great taste! Isn't something written somewhere about covetousness? Don't they all wish they had the Memphis recipes! Yum!!

Mark Winter said...


I have finished my BBQ exegesis and I have concluded that God clearly prefers beef. The LORD says in Psalm 50:10 that he owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Psalm 147:9 says that he provides food for cattle. The father in Luke 15 killed the fatted CALF when the prodigal son returned home and not a pig. And, of course, our Lord let the demons of hell enter into pigs, an unmistakable sign of how he feels about swine (Mark 5:13).

Case closed.

Keith Taylor said...


In the Acts of the Apostles (Ch. 10), Peter had a vision while in prayer. Heaven opened and a great vessel descended unto him as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth. It was obviously filled with BBQ Pork with Red Sauce, baked beans, cole slaw, lemon pie, and sweet tea.

The Lord told Peter to eat and Peter said, "not so, Lord"

Then the Lord told Peter that God had cleansed the BBQ Pork and commanded him to eat it. Thus, God saved the BBQ which was clearly BEST for the last.

This was done three times and the vessel returned to heaven because BBQ Pork is a heavenly delite ordained by God and Christ to be enjoyed.

After that, Peter never ate grilled cow again.

Mark Winter said...


Hmmm, methinks you have been doing eisegesis instead of exegesis.

Sally said...

I have to say Texas- living ther for 3 years altered our soggy British BBQ'S forever!!!

Joel Thomas said...

Those who claim or imply that Kansas City doesn't do pork or do it well are simply spreading a false gospel.

Kansas City is best, followed by Texas, North Carolina and Memphis.

Keith Taylor said...


I don't know about eiseges, but I will agree with you that I like grilled cow, there is nothing wrong with grilled cow, I will even come to a church picnic with you and eat grilled cow. But it shall forever be called "grilled cow".

But Bar-Be-Que is only and shall only be PIG!

Mark Winter said...


My wife and I ate Kansas City BBQ many years ago after hearing so much about it. Don't remember the name of the place, but we weren't all that impressed. Plus there was no BBQ bar with raw onions, jalapeƱos, relish and sauces (hot, sweet, mild, etc).

Allan R. Bevere said...

All this culinary fundamentalism is so devisive! Isn't it more important simply to love one another?

Joel Thomas said...


Well, I've eaten in a Texas barbecue place or two that would define the word "stringy."

John said...

I think that I made a mistake by listing Memphis as an option in the poll. Cole slaw is not actually a meat.

Keith Taylor said...

No John,

Now you are committing BBQ blasphemy!

You did not make a mistake. You can go into Bar-Be-Que stands all over the country and many of them even list their sandwiches or plates by category. Memphis style is always on the menu. Unless you are in the area of those hay baylers in Kansas.

It means a BBQ sandwich made from chopped (not pulled, not sliced) 100% PORK. The sandwich will have red sauce on it and it will have cole slaw on it. Cole slaw like they serve at the Colonel's made with sugar, not that mustard or vinegar crap. However, don't get hung up on the slaw. The key is the chopped pork. PIG!!! Cooked over an open pit. I remember eating many a sandwich as a kid and while you were eating, you always could hear the cook in the background chopping the pork with a large cleaver.

The slaw, the onion rings, the beans, the lemon pie, and the sweet tea are just the side items.

I am dying to run out and get some right now. But Whit's is probably all that is open, and I ain't into that.

BTW, I love this thread. It reminds me of the days on on Usenet. This battle has been raging there for 10 years.

Mark Winter said...


Brisket is naturally stringy, but it shouldn't be tough. If it is, it wasn't cooked right. A typical melt-in-your-mouth brisket is SLOW-smoked for up to 24 hrs, and mopped frequently with red sauce to keep it moist. Ideally it should be fork-tender.

Well, guys and gals, it's been fun, but I'm calling a stalemate. I have to prepare for a revival on Sunday. If y'all over there in Tennessee ever come to God's country, look me up and I'll take out you for some REAL BBQ--Texas brisket. :>)

Mitch said...

Thus says the Lord:

Zeb Dean's - Danielsville, Georgia - with a big bowl of Brunswick stew to go with it.

Dr. Tony said...

While I am from Memphis, my allegiances lie with North Carolina.

When you mention that you have family in Lexington, North Carolina, you almost always get a response about the good BBQ sandwiches. So much so that Lexington identifies itself as the BBQ capital of the world.

Now the question should be, "do you want it chopped or sliced, with or without (coleslaw)?"

Mark Winter said...


Down here in Texas, we DO eat other kinds of BBQ. Yes, including pork. Most of the BBQ joints offer pork ribs, barbecued chicken & turkey and link sausage. You'd be looking a long time for pulled pork.

Brisket is the undisputed King of BBQ'ed meats in Texas. And it should be everywhere else, too. The fact that it isn't just shows how many people refuse to repent and turn to the truth.

As it says in Second Charcoalians 3:16, "God desires all people to be saved and come to the knowledge of true barbecue, which is Texas brisket. Duh."

Mark Winter said...

And, Dr. Tony, in answer to your question:

WITHOUT coleslaw.

And without pork, either.

Anonymous said...

You guys are crackin' me up!!!

The correct answer is of course Texas.

Dr. Tony said...

In Lexington and Memphis, the only true BBQ is pork. While I like good BBQ beef, there is a taste only found in pork.

And for the record, I like my sandwiches chopped and with the coleslaw included in the sandwich rather on the side.

Conrad said...

I personally like Memphis BBQ...

BUT, I think God would prefer KC BBQ. It is more likely to be kosher.