Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Theological Engineering Exam

4 Questions, 60 Minutes.

You may use a calculator, the Bible, the Koran, the Torah, and the Book of Mormon. The speed of light is c. Show all work. For all problems, assume a perfectly spherical Jesus of constant density D. No praying during the exam.

1. (20 pts.) Bob and Joe are standing on a street corner. God loves each an equal amount of L_O. Bob then accelerates to .9c. In Joe's rest frame, how much does God now love Bob?

2. (20 pts.) Let the eternal, all abiding love of the Holy Spirit be the xy plane. Let Sue's soul be at (0,0,5) at t=0 sec., traveling at 5 m/s in the direction of the positive z axis. Everything is in Cartesian coordinates bespeaking subscription to a perfectly rational Enlightenment attitude towards the Universe. At what time t will Sue be saved? (Hint: Assume a point soul.)

3. (20 pts.) Assume the Rapture occurs at time t. Cornelia, a saved human weighing 90 kg, in a state of grace, has her head in the closing jaws of an alligator at time t. What mass of meat will remain to the alligator at time t+10 sec.?

4. Stan is a frictionless, massless Mormon in a rest state. His sin level for his faith is currently 11 McBeals. He eats .3 kg of pork, and enjoys it very much. Assume that the Jews are right about, well, pretty much everything.
A. (10 pts.) What is Stan's sin level now?
B. (10 pts.) Stan is one of them Salt Lake City Mormons. He ain't so smug now, is he?

Extra Credit (10 pts): 25 grams of wafers and 20 ml of cheap wine undergo transubstantiation and become the flesh and blood of our Lord. How many Joules of heat are released by the transformation?

Hand in exam when done, and may God have mercy on your work.
___________________

Hat tip to a blogless seminary colleague of mine

5 comments:

Keith McIlwain said...

Cute.

DannyG said...

1: Blue

2: -3

3: 0

4a: 25

b: The pope received a phone call, after several uh-uhas and yeses he hangs up. He turns to the college of Cardinals and says I have good news and bad news. The good news is that Jesus has returned. After much cheering the cardinals ask what could possibly be bad news. The pope replied: the call came from Salt Lake City, collect.

5: it's endothermic

Larry B said...

1. Assuming God's love is a dimensionally measurable quantity:

According to special relativity
L'/L=sqrt(1-(v/c)^2).

Thus God loves Bob less than he did when he was standing still next to Joe by the ratio computed above = 0.43. So in engineering speak Joe see's Bob being loved by God only half as much as he did when Bob was at rest.

If however God's love is a temporal quantity then Bob experiences a slowing down of time relative to Joe's rest frame which is the same as the length contraction quantity produced above, and thus would perceive that he is receiving a longer period of Love than Joe and is therefore benefitting from his travel at 0.9C.

2. Unfortunately, the assumption of Cartesian coordinates here means that she will be saved at time t=infinity as the positive velocity of 5 m/s in the z direction does not produce an intersection with the xy plane in a finite time.

If we could break from the rational enlightenment of cartesians and use Riemann's geometry we could use curved space time to accelerate the point to c and bring her to the xy plane at a finite time t.

3. Assuming that mass and energy are conserved according the first law of thermodynamics and Einsteins Eneregy Mass equivalence (E=MC^2), then assume the rapture must necessarily conserve these quantities. It is also assumed that the conversion of mass to energy should occur at some reasonable energy exchange rate so as not to cause tremendous disruptions to those near people rapturing. If we assume a an enegy of 100 watts applied to rapturing each person, then we have the amount of energy contained in 90 kg is 90*3.8X10^8 kgm/s^2. If we have a conversion rate of 100 watts (or 100 Joules/sec) at t=10 seconds there will still be approximately 89.9999999 kg of meat available. In other words don't count on the rapture to get you out of this one.

4a. The mere attempt at eating by a frictionless massless Mormon of .3kg would cause infinite acceleration which would mean either complete annilihilation or generation of pure light. So his sin level is either infinite if he is annilihilated or zero if he has become light. We're still working on that one.

4b. Nope.

Extra Credit:
According to the second law of thermodynamics, natural processes that involve energy transfer must have one direction, and all natural processes are irreversible. This law also predicts that the entropy of an isolated system always increases with time. So a process such as transubstantiation where the entropy is actually decreased would involve a net input of heat, thus there is zero heat released in such a transformation.

Keith Taylor said...

Larry,

You and I got different answers on these, but I assumed different boundary conditions as you.

1. (20 pts.) Bob and Joe are standing on a street corner. God loves each an equal amount of L_O. Bob then accelerates to .9c. In Joe's rest frame, how much does God now love Bob?

Assume the love of God is equal to 1 love mass unit.

From Joe’s rest frame, m, God now loves Bob m’

m’ = m * 1/ SQRT(1-(0.9c/c)^2) If c = 300,000 m/sec^2

From Joe’s reference frame, God now loves Bob, m’ = 2.2941 times more than he loves Bob.

Therefore, stationary, idle churches are not loved as much by Christ as dynamic, Churches, doing his will. This is a Biblical fact from his letter to the Church at Laodicia.


2. (20 pts.) Let the eternal, all abiding love of the Holy Spirit be the xy plane. Let Sue's soul be at (0,0,5) at t=0 sec., traveling at 5 m/s in the direction of the positive z axis. Everything is in Cartesian coordinates bespeaking subscription to a perfectly rational Enlightenment attitude towards the Universe. At what time t will Sue be saved? (Hint: Assume a point soul.)

I will assume that the Holy Trinity is located at 0,0,0 with the Holy Spirit the xy plane. If Sue is traveling at 5 m/s she is traveling away from 0,0,0 and will not intersect the Holy Spirit. However, Jesus must then occupy either the xz or yz planes and the Father would be the remaining plane. If this is the case, then the Trinity would certainly occupy all aspects of space in the known universe at the same time. Omnipresent. This is stated in the Bible. Therefore, Sue can be saved instantaneously regardless of her origin. This is also stated in the Bible. Sue will be saved at time t = (5 m/s) / distance as d approaches infinity. Thus t approaches 0.


3. (20 pts.) Assume the Rapture occurs at time t. Cornelia, a saved human weighing 90 kg, in a state of grace, has her head in the closing jaws of an alligator at time t. What mass of meat will remain to the alligator at time t+10 sec.?

Easy, the answer is 0 Kg since we assume that the total time t of the Rapture event is zero seconds. The speed of her head approaches infinity as the time t of the Rapture approaches 0 sec. We know this from St. Paul’s description in Timothy II. In order for the alligator to bite her, his jaws must also move infinitely fast, however, since he is still a mortal being, the fastest they can travel is the speed of light, c. As they approach c, the mass of his
jaws approaches infinity, and the energy that is required to accelerate his jaws approaches infinity, thus, at t= t+10 sec, there will definitely be nothing left for the Gator to swallow.

4. Stan is a frictionless, massless Mormon in a rest state. His sin level for his faith is currently 11 McBeals. He eats .3 kg of pork, and enjoys it very much. Assume that the Jews are right about, well, pretty much everything.
A. (10 pts.) What is Stan's sin level now? If he is frictionless, how will his feet stay on the peddles of his bicycle during his missionary trip? However, if they can, then since he is also massless then the Force required to propel his bicycle will be the exact same as the force to propel the bicycle alone.

B. (10 pts.) Stan is one of them Salt Lake City Mormons. He ain't so smug now, is he? No, since the can’t peddle his bike, he got hit and run over by a semi truck and now his name is Matt.

Extra Credit (10 pts): 25 grams of wafers and 20 ml of cheap wine undergo transubstantiation and become the flesh and blood of our Lord. How many Joules of heat are released by the transformation?

I will assume that the Lord is comprised of pure energy since God and Christ and the Holy Spirit are one being. The boundary condition is that Christ is in heaven with the Father, not in his human, bodily form. If that that the case, then I will assume that the entire wine and wine are completely changed from matter into pure Energy in a pure isentropic, nuclear reaction, since God is not subject to the Second Law of Thermodynamics, there will be no losses and 100% of the mass is completely changed into pure energy.

Thus E = mc^2 where c = 300,000 m/sec^2
The mass of the wafers is 0.025 Kg. Wine has a density of 1000 Kg / m^3 and there are 0.001 m^3 in a Liter.
The mass of the wine is 0.020 Kg.

E = (0.025 + 0.020 Kg)(300,000 m/sec)^2 = 4.05E+09 ( Kg m^2/sec^2 ) or Joule

Larry B said...

Keith,

Oh the humanity of it all - we can't expose non - theological engineers to the fact that boundary conditions matter. We should expunge one of us as a heretic as soon as possible lest they be onto us.