Bad Methodist suggests that the problem with Ted Haggard wasn't homosexual sin, but denying his true nature as a homosexual. She contrasts him with a lesbian who grew up in a Christian home, faced rejection for her homosexuality, and then came to terms with who she was:
I know a lot of people like D. I know a lot of couples like D. and S. They make me wonder, what if Ted Haggard had decided not to struggle against his sexual orientation when he was younger? What if he hadn’t gotten married to a woman and had five kids with her? What if he had formed a healthy relationship with a man instead? Would that have kept him from the meth? Would that have kept him from visiting prostitutes? I don’t know, but I do know that’s exactly how healing happened for many other gay men and lesbians. And if the conservative church is wrong, if same-sex relationships are not inherently sinful, then the way we treat the issue, by urging people to change, to struggle against who they were meant to be and to pretend to be what they are not—that’s the root sin here. We the church are causing all this misery.
To this argument, Mitch Lewis has an excellent rebuttal (as usual):
If a wife comes to me with the complaint that her husband is attracted to another woman, my answer is never: well, his attraction to her means your marriage is a joke. He should have never married you to begin with. He should leave you and go to her. His attraction her represents his essential self. There are a number of different ways to approach this problem, but declaring the problem to be the solution isn’t one of them.