Friday, January 26, 2007

Pet Diaries

Jeff the Baptist has found diaries from pets.

The dog:

Day number 180

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

The cat:

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture...Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this On their bed.

2 comments:

Vicki said...

Boy, is that ever accurate. There is a cat living in my household, and, while my kids haven't endowed me with grandchildren yet, they have made me "grandma" to three cats and two dogs.

My heart goes out to Hyzenthlay. We once had two beautiful little kittens - sisters - who ruled our household and clung to each other. In their second year with us, one died in a freak accident. The surviving kitty mourned for the rest of her life. I pray that Hyzenthlay lives a long and peaceful life.

May you also have Peace.

Ken said...

It doesn't have to be a case of feeding cereal to kitty or fido. That's just how the pet food companies cheapen their products.

Vet Dr. Jane makes a cat and dog food which is made from human quality ingredients.

Ken