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Andy Bryan: "...authorities suspect the Wookie's arrest may have been part of an elaborate rebel ruse designed to facilitate the escape of Princess Leia Organa, arrested earlier in the day for alleged anti-empire activities."
Tom Ream: In breaking news...Chewbacca was arrested this evening following a pool hall brawl for allegedly maiming the victim.
A witness told our news crews, "The dude had it coming...everybody knows that wookies are known to rip arms out of sockets when they lose."
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In breaking news...Chewbacca was arrested this evening following a pool hall brawl for allegedly maiming the victim.
A witness told our news crews, "The dude had it coming...everybody knows that wookies are known to rip arms out of sockets when they lose."
Mardi Gras has become increasingly more wild. This evening Chewbacca was found throwing beads to a cadre of Ewoks. Chewbacca was arrested for disorderly conduct when he kept chanting 'Show us your C3PO' at the unsuspecting Ewoks. Chewbacca's spokeswookie reports that he has checked himself into a rehab program in Nevada and is considering shaving his head.
"In a bizarre sidenote, as the Wookie was being led away by police, he shouted, "Oh, by the way, I'm the father of Anna Nicole's baby!"
Chewbacca, the American League Wookie of the Year, has been arrested for diorderly conduct.
Oop! I mean "disorderly."
Furious at being slighted at the Oscars for nearly 30 years, Chewbacca was apprehended today while breaking into the home of Richard Dreyfuss, who won "best actor" in 1977 for his performance in "The Goodbye Girl."
"I did my own stunts!" he shouted as the squad car drove away.
After reports of his untimely demise continued to circulate, Chewbacca threatened to pull Lucas' arms out of socket if he didn't set the record straight.
As police officers dragged him from Skywalker Ranch, he was heard shouting..."Chewbacca Lives!"
The DNA test did come back today. It's true, Chewbacca is my father.
"...authorities suspect the Wookie's arrest may have been part of an elaborate rebel ruse designed to facilitate the escape of Princess Leia Organa, arrested earlier in the day for alleged anti-empire activities."
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