Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Heresy in the UMC

I think that this comment thread shows how much the UMC has utterly failed to maintain doctrinal standards as they are understood by the Bible, the historic Church, and The Book of Discipline. How elders in full connection can dare to so brazenly espouse views that are not only contrary to Christian teaching, but disgusting, is beyond me. Thankfully, Mark Winter is taking a stand against such nonsense.

9 comments:

the reverend mommy said...

Eat thou neither the beef critter nor the pork critter, but eat thou of the chicken critter.

Only chicken should be BBQed. None should be so foul to suggest otherwise.

To eat beef critter BBQed is utterly disgusting and to eat pork critter is just making a hog of thyself.

I and the Chik-Fil-a cows will insist upon this.

Mark Winter said...

John,

Thank you for pointing out this horrific heresy within the UMC. Surrounded by pig-lovin' Methobloggers, I know that you and I are voices crying out in the wilderness--but truth should never take a back seat to an erroneous majority opinion.

Keep the brisket faith, bro.

jim said...

Tomorrow, I will have you surrounded with pitchforks and torches. We BBQ no beef. You must be a Presbo or something.

Mark Winter said...

Jim,

I can't take you seriously because you live in a state that eats gooshy wet peanuts.

Whoops! Did I just stir another pot?

Art said...

This heresy saddens me so much I might go off and become a Lutheran or something...

greg hazelrig said...

Here we go again. At least we're arguing over a good theological issue now!

{Now only if I could get everyone to see my side}

Mark Winter said...

Rev. Mommy, Bro. Greg, Art, Jim:

Sigh. "You need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again." Okay, here goes, my children:

1. God clearly deems the pig to be nasty when he tells his chosen people not to eat it. "It is unclean for you." (Lev 11:7 & Deut. 14:8)

2. The Psalms state that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills and provides food for the cattle. Clearly God prefers cows over any other animal of the field.

3. Jesus sent demons into pigs. (Mark 5:13) 'Nuff said.

4. The father of the prodigal son killed the fatted CALF for his son, not the fatted pig.

"I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear." But for now, ruminate on the above, my dear children, and God will lead you into blessed brisket truth.

Jeff the Baptist said...

Verily the only divinely inspired form of church dinner is the pot luck. All else is heresy.

Oh and I have to disagree with Reverend Mommy. Real BBQ is beef or pork. To cook BBQ right, i.e. low and slow all day, you need a big hunk of meat that you just can't get with chicken. Anything else is just grilling.

Mark Winter said...

Jeff,

A good Methodist Texas potluck is hardly potluck without a plate of BBQ brisket. Over on my blog, Art seems to think that it is impossible to barbecue anything but pork.

This heresy is deeper than I thought.