Tuesday, November 20, 2007

John the Methodist Facts

Jeff the Baptist says that he's tired of the pop culture phenomenon of Chuck Norris Facts. That's understandable -- they've been around for a while. Let's try something newer and, shall we say, more menacing: John the Methodist Facts.
  • When John the Methodist first appeared before the Board of Ordained Ministry, they ordained him. Twice.
  • John the Methodist once preached the Book of Obadiah, verse by verse, for a year.
  • John the Methodist can belch the tune to And Can It Be.
  • The Commander of the Lord's Army refers to John the Methodist as "Sir".

Add your own John the Methodist Facts in the comments.


Art said...

When John the Methodist does a push up, he's not only NOT pushing the earth down, he's not even really pushing himself up... he's only trying to get out of bed...

Anonymous said...

John the Methodist has two speeds: walk and sleep.

Mark Winter said...

A man once told John the Methodist that his rabbits would look good in a stew pot. That man wished that John had adopted Dan Trabue's pacifism.

John the Methodist doesn't preach. He delivers.

John the Methodist once killed a zombie horde singlehandedly...while translating a difficult Johannine pericope into Greek.

John said...

John the Methodist can divide by 5.

Great stuff! Keep 'em coming.

The Thief said...

John the Methodist read the Book of Discipline. At age 2. In Greek. Then translated it into Hebrew just for fun.

Matt said...

John the Methodist once baptized an entire caravan of desest people, and for water he willed it to rain.

John the Methodist can deliver a sermon in 30 minutes or less, to your house, and no delivery charge.

John the Methodist kills zombies just by blogging about them.

In Mother Russia, the Methodists were all named John.

Imagine a Beowulf cluster of John the Methodists.

Because of John, all rabbits are Methodist (and some hares too)

Worship Leader Ron said...

John the methodist has counted to infinity....twice.

jim said...

when JTM blinks, Chuck Norris cries.