Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Correction and Clarification



For a few weeks, I've had a label in the sidebar of my blog that says "This Blog is 100% Zombie Proof". In the interest in public safety, I've decided to take it down.

In truth, you are never, ever completely safe from zombies. Adopting the attitude that one's domicile, blog, or workplace is 100% zombie-proof induces a sense of complacency. It can be easy to build a 20 foot high brick wall around one's home and stockpile food, ammunition, and medical supplies. And one can also build self-sustaining energy and water sources. But even the most well-prepared and equipped compounds have fallen to the undead hordes, and so claiming to be completely safe from zombies really conveys a false sense of security.

I realize that, although my home may be largely safe from zombies, by suggesting that it is completely safe, I may be unintentionally suggesting to loyal readers who look up to me as a role model that zombie defense is easily managed. If I have conveyed this erroneous view, I apologize. In this act, I failed in my responsibility to you.

I further realize that my advertising my blog as 100% zombie-proof, I may be encouraging readers to seek refuge with me when the armies of the undead consume humanity. Hence my Internet pseudonymity. For those who were counting on my help when the Great Panic finally comes, I'm sorry: my family will be my only priority at that point. I will protect my wife, dog, and rabbit, but you're on your own.

So, in summary, I would urge you, dear readers, not to put off your preparations for a zombie attack until the last minute. Because when they come, you'll have to look out for yourself.

9 comments:

Scotte Hodel said...

Are you saying that within every blog is a Resident Evil?

truevyne said...

I wonder what movie your mother wishes she wouldn't have let you watch as a small child...

Ken Lowery said...

Wise words. I feared you had become the TITANIC of Methodist blogs, glibly flaunting your self-assigned "unsinkable" label even as the lurching, brain-eating iceberg looms ever closer.

John said...

A good analogy, Ken. I appreciate your prudence.

the reverend mommy said...

::sadness::

John said...

Well, Rev Mommy, when I saw that you had adopted the logo in your sidebar as well, I knew that I was encouraging a false confidence among people deeply vulernable to zombie attacks.

Oloryn said...

I knew that I was encouraging a false confidence among people deeply vulernable to zombie attacks.

So, you're telling us that Zombies are attracted by ham radio towers?

Kristi said...

If you have enough zombies, just grab a bat and start a zombie baseball team!

the reverend mommy said...

If they are attracted to ham radio towers, I fear my household is doomed.