Tuesday, April 22, 2008
For a few weeks, I've had a label in the sidebar of my blog that says "This Blog is 100% Zombie Proof". In the interest in public safety, I've decided to take it down.
In truth, you are never, ever completely safe from zombies. Adopting the attitude that one's domicile, blog, or workplace is 100% zombie-proof induces a sense of complacency. It can be easy to build a 20 foot high brick wall around one's home and stockpile food, ammunition, and medical supplies. And one can also build self-sustaining energy and water sources. But even the most well-prepared and equipped compounds have fallen to the undead hordes, and so claiming to be completely safe from zombies really conveys a false sense of security.
I realize that, although my home may be largely safe from zombies, by suggesting that it is completely safe, I may be unintentionally suggesting to loyal readers who look up to me as a role model that zombie defense is easily managed. If I have conveyed this erroneous view, I apologize. In this act, I failed in my responsibility to you.
I further realize that my advertising my blog as 100% zombie-proof, I may be encouraging readers to seek refuge with me when the armies of the undead consume humanity. Hence my Internet pseudonymity. For those who were counting on my help when the Great Panic finally comes, I'm sorry: my family will be my only priority at that point. I will protect my wife, dog, and rabbit, but you're on your own.
So, in summary, I would urge you, dear readers, not to put off your preparations for a zombie attack until the last minute. Because when they come, you'll have to look out for yourself.