Does Anyone Have $700 In Loose Change Available?

Dan Trabue is skeptical of the proposed $700 billion bailout of U.S. credit markets. I tend to the follow the general rule with all addicts: when you reward bad behavior, you get more bad behavior. Let it burn.

Elsewhere, King Oblivious has several excellent suggestions on how else we could use $700 billion productively. Here are a few from his list:

• Buy the nation of Turkey (gross domestic product: $663 billion), cover it entirely with bacon and ham to make it a nation-sized open-faced club sandwich
• Clone 12 Bill Gateses (net worth: $58 billion) to constantly hang out and do weird non-sequitur activities with 12 Jerry Seinfelds (net worth: $225 million), place two pairs on each continent to confuse world about just what they're trying to sell
• Buy 35 billion Rock Band 2 sets (suggested retail price: $189.99), attempt to play them all at once, don't let anyone else touch them
• Add various parts to the International Space Station (estimated cost: $100 billion for NASA alone, plus the contributions of other countries) so that it has a head, two arms, two legs and a giant energy sword, because you never know when you might need a giant space Voltron