Monday, November 14, 2005
Divorce and the Pastorate
Should a pastor who divorces for any reason other than adultery be compelled to step down?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Subscribe in a reader
Got a tip?
Email John at zeraygazette at yahoo dot com
Geekery/Pop Culture
NeatoramaTopless Robot
Great White Snark
Popped Culture
Matthew Caverhill
Johnny Cat
Blogging Buddies
Jeff the BaptistIronic Catholic
Dan Trabue
John Meunier
Divers and Sundry
Bob's Brainstorms
Jockey Street
Operation Oxmyx
Humor Links
The OnionCracked
Questionable Content
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
xkcd
Abstruse Goose
Miscellaneous
PostSecretInstapundit
Ace of Spades HQ
Hell in a Handbasket
Brian J. Noggle
16 comments:
Man, that's a tough (and potentially loaded) question.
Who is doing the divorcing? Is there abuse involved? Potential life-and-limb risks? Extreme financial mismanagement? I guess my answer to this question would be "it depends."
I can't imagine asking a pastor (or anyone else) to remain in a marriage where there is a serious breach of trust, especially when that breach is potentially seriously dangerous. I can't sit in judgment of a pastor who divorces over physical, sexual or emotional abuse; being taken advantage of financially (being taken to the cleaners, so to speak); or when their spouse has made the decision to divorce (if the pastor's spouse decides to get a divorce, it's unlikely the pastor can stop it!)
I guess the bottom line for me is that there are other serious forms of unfaithfulness besides adultery.
Willie's right, I think. Especially about abuse. Abuse is the first thing that I thought of when I read the question.
- Andy B.
No- as long as the Pastor was not guilty of adultry or another serious breach of trust, I think that divorced pastors should be able to remain ordained and recieve apointments.
I phrased the question that way for a very specific reason: I wanted to avoid the obvious cop-out of "only because of adultery, because that's what Jesus said." It's a very complex and difficult issue and I wanted to elevate the debate above that. So far, there have been some good thoughts and analysis shared here.
Is the question divorce, or remarriage after divorce?
If you kick out homosexuals, then you have to kick out any pastor who sins: adultery (and remember, divorce that leads to remarriage is adultery!), those filled with greed (kick out any pastor with a BMW), any murderers (veterans can't be pastors...too bad). Oh well, this stinks. Who will be able to lead us?
The anonymous commentor has a completely fair point. If homosexuals are restricted from the ordained ministry, then logically the casually divorced must be as well.
Sanctimonious, I think that we're talking about regular old divorce.
Speaking as one who was divorced in his younger days and remarried before coming into the ministry, I would have to say that I'm glad they didn't keep me out because of it. I know God has called me, and if the UMC had thought otherwise, I guess I'd be somewhere else now. And I've been a Methodist all my life...Ironically, not a Christian, but a Methodist.
I would set the bar lower for divorce but higher for remarriage. I would set the bar much higher for divorce for the purpose of remarriage. By 'bar,' I don't mean 'bar the door.' I mean telling a man what I think of his behavior, if he asks.
I'm not sure I would differentiate between laymen and preachers. I can't imagine I would demand an explanation for the preacher's behavior if he divorced his wife and got a new one three months later. I would give him (and anyone else) the benefit of the doubt. I figure it's between him and his Bishop. (I guess Protestant Bishops are good to have around after all.)
If the preacher starts telling people there's nothing wrong with getting a divorce when you find someone more attractive, or that it's natural for a man to have someone on the side if the fire goes out of his marriage, then he's got to go.
The problem (for me) is I may be completely wrong. Does my opinion contradict the teachings of Jesus? How about Saint Paul? Subject to my limited understanding, I'm afraid so. Ten years ago that would have been no big deal for me. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to come up with a reasonable excuse why Paul says one thing, but we should do another. Except when Paul agrees with me; Then we should obey the teachings of the Apostle.
Finally, I'm kind of surprised that breach of fiduciary obligation is considered legitimate grounds for a Christian to divorce.
It seems to me that if we make a move to bar anyone for any reason, we would be compelled to examine our own intent. Is it to save a soul, (try to) keep the body pure, or teach that person a lesson?
In other words, to bar someone to what end? It's a tough one for me mainly because I wrongly try to make it my business to know the circumstances of another. In other words, I find myself flirting with "judging". Very dangerous territory.
Actually, the anonymous commenter misses the point. Practicing homosexuals are "kicked out" of the pastorate. By that standard, those unconvinced of their sinfulness in adultery should also be barred.
And since when are all veterans "murderers" anyway?
Back ON topic... John has worded the question so that the answer cannot be absolutely given for every circumstance. We need more whens, wheres and hows.
"Thou shalt not kill" -- seems like murder to me...
Interesting that, so far, all voices here have been male.
That is, those whose gender is evident.
Point: Woman at the well -- more a scathing commentary on the lack of attendance to the levirate laws. Point the finger to the males of the society, instead of a commentary on the woman's sin.
Point: Divorce is bad. Period. Bad. It is a breaking of a sacred covenant between two people. The dissolution of this sacred covenant grieves God because IMHO human marriage pre-figures on earth the relationship between God and the church at the realization of the kingdom.
Point: people are imperfect. There will be abuses within any relationship. Including our abuses/neglect of our relationship with God and our spouse. If you are in a truly abusive relationship, I cannot believe it reflects accurately the relationship between God and his church. It may be much more harm to you than good. Then the good and loving thing to do is to dissolve the relationship.
It cannot be done lightly. All possible avenues must be explored before divorce is considered.
Why do you ask the question, John?
Why do I ask the question? Because I find the command of Christ to never divorce except for adultery hard. Very hard. If a female parishoner came to me and her husband repeatedly beat her, should I instruct her not to seek a divorce? I would not in good conscience be able to do so. Yet by doing so, I would ostensibly disobey the words of Christ. Or perhaps I'm not and am misinterpreting Christ in this passage. It is because I find this passage difficult that I ask the question.
The extension of this is what demands of holy living do we expect for pastors? What expectations are reasonable and what are not? I'm not trying to push a particular point of view because I don't know these answers myself.
I have found this question rather difficult to consider, especially in light of myself currently going through a divorce due to my wife's choice to go and live with another man(along with many other sins) and refusing to acknowledge them as sin and repent. On top of this, I have felt God leading me to work towards a Master's in Divinity for my post graduate once I am done with my BS.(I am still praying about this in light of these recent events.)
To answer the first part of your most recent statement John, a situation of abuse does not have to end in divorce, that is a kind of case where the Biblical view of separation was meant for. So that the abused can be kept at a safe distance while the abuser is encouraged(and sometimes forced in the experience of some people I've known in those situations) to get help.
I do know that there are two main schools of thought about a pastor being divorced when it comes to the qualifications in 1 Timothy 3. One is that the pastor cannot be divorced at all, and the other is that it simply means that the pastor takes their marriage commitment in complete seriousness and does not divorce outside of biblical reason(when all other options for reconciliation have been completely exhausted in the case of adultery). However, I do believe that someone who goes through such a trial while in the pastorate, probably could be asked to step down as they still violate the principle of having a biblically structured home.
Then again, with what I am going through, I may tend to have a hard time finding a position to take on this passage.
Post a Comment