I did a literature search and found that no author in the UMC or its preceding denominations has thought of this idea, which is rather surprising. That's why I should be a bishop some day -- because I think of the big ideas that solve problems. Sure, Dan Gates is always talking about what we need to do to 'rekindle' Methodism, but has he ever brought up catapults? Nope. With him, it's always fanciful ideas like withholding apportionments or electing lay delegates or other such imaginative claptrap. But never sensible, practical plans like building a catapult.
UPDATE: Cross-posted at
11 comments:
This is exactly the type of out-of-the-box thinking that the UMC needs in the new millenium.
JOHN,
With ideas like this you may well be very soon catapulted into fame!
we could sell tickets so people could watch the action... and raise $ for apportionments
Let us hope that you do not fall victim to your own idea someday.
mideval catapults can only throw a few hundred yards.. this is good for immediate removal, but they might be able to find their way back. especially if their stuff is still in a parsonage.. may i suggest some additional items
Deux ex machina as it were. I like it.
This will just add more bureauracy, as we will have to form a Catapult Committee in our annual conferences.
Having spent a considerable amount of time with the field artillery, and being a member of the Order of Saint Barbara, I can tell you that a trebuchet will toss those suckers farther than an a tensional or torsional catapult.
A large trebuchet can easily sling the body of a fairly large mammal over a fortress wall (and was used to do so in the middle ages when diseased corpses were used in a form a biological warfare).
A trebuchet - I think that's what you want.
Hey, some of us pastors might like to use those on some ... oh never mind.
It is a shame to see it happen. I was just noticing this topic at our past ministers' convocation. Itinerancy is good for some things but the guaranteed appointment needs to be rethought. We wonder why we have to "jump through hoops" to get ordained. We see that that process still has some hoops to jump through as well. The really sad thing is that the small churches are the ones who suffer. They are always the ones stuck with these people who seem to be listening to the world more than the voice of God.
I wonder where I could find a list of all these "destroyed" churches?
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