Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Stirring the Pot

You know how to drive up blog traffic? Well, there's always furniture porn. But if you don't find that suitable, you can always say preposterous and deeply offensive statements that stand in utter contrast to all reality, good taste, and human decency.

Personally, I prefer both methods. That's why I'm going to engage in the latter tonight by stating something that will enrage my readers and bring a swarm of traffic to Locusts & Honey. Sure, most of you will question my sanity and salvation, but you'll keep on coming back for more. Maybe you'll even report me to my District Superintendent or the police. But that won't stop you from typing in one more time to see just what will be the next vile thing to come out of keyboard. To wit:

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier was the greatest Star Trek movie of all time; nay, the greatest Star Trek story in any medium, anytime, anywhere.

So open up the comments and pour out your outrage. Bring on that sweet, sweet big blog traffic.


Questing Parson said...

Your district superintendent would know something about Star Trek? You are a plessed pastor.

Jared Williams said...

Anyone who would say such a thing is truly disturbed.

Oloryn said...

Actually, I kind of liked the symbology of ST V. You've got this very New-Agey Vulcan claiming to be leading people to God, yet when you get to what he's leading to, it turns out to be more like the Devil. And it's not the logic of Spock that spots this, nor the emotionalism of McCoy, but the ordinary-man common-sense of Kirk. What's not to like?

Alan said...

Star Trek 5, an obvious attempt by the postmodernist, humanist, anti-Christian, left-wing, moonbat, emergent, Hollywood, homosexual, polygamist elite to discredit Christianity by mocking God. The fact that you think it is a good movie proves just how far the UMC has fallen from Wesley's historic stand that Star Trek II was the best Star Trek movie ever. Any Bible-believing Christian can see just how deeply liberalism has penetrated your thinking, just like a Ceti Eel burrows its way into the ears of its victims.

What? Too accurate? :)

Mark Winter said...

Actually, John, I agree with you. Star Trek V was a beautiful movie, full of stunning cinematography and scintillating dialogue.

Still, with all of its plusses, ST V can't hold a candle to Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace--especially when that gosh-darn cute Anakin is in the middle of a star battle and chirps, "Whoo, boy! This is tense!"

Sky Lowe-McCracken said...


I've been usually supportive of your serious posts, been entertained by the not-so-serious, and been quiet when I've disagreed with you. But I can be silent no longer. You've crossed the line. You've embraced the heretical. You have joined the apostate.

I'm a confirmed Trekker. I've seen all the movies, seen all the television series, and read nearly every book/novel ever written about the Star Trek universe. So I say that to say this:

Star Trek V was absolutely, positively, the worst Star Trek movie ever made. It is also, by no coincidence, the only movie that Shatner ever directed. The movie was nominated for three Razzies and actually won three Razzies. Talk about the Shat hitting the fan...

I own it - reluctantly - because I'm a Trekker. But it causes me great pain to watch it, so I usually don't.

But you have stirred the pot. Which is what I think you intended, anyway. [grin]

Brett said...

Your statement is so illogical that I was looking for a link from the onion.

Keith McIlwain said...

Star Trek V? I suppose you also prefer the Jar Jar Binks trilogy to the Luke/Leia/Han trilogy.