What If The Lord of the Rings Had Been Written By Different Authors?

Here's a funny message board thread with speculations about how LOTR would have turned out if it had been written by different writers, such as James Joyce, Ernest Hemingway, Ayn Rand, Dr. Seuss, and as a Choose Your Own Adventure Novel.

Here's the Frank Herbert option:

Legolas allowed himself the luxury of allowing himself the luxury of a stray thought. What new treachery is this? he mused at the form coming slowly toward them through the world-haze. He reached out with senses sharpened by years of Elvish training. It looks like ... no! That cannot be! It must be a vision. Nazgul spies must have poisoned my lembas.

But the self within himself knew that his lembas was uncorrupted, that the vision that he saw now was not merely of a possible future but of an inevitable future. Yet still it strode closer, and closer, its pointed white hat contrasting sharply with the dull oceans of unbroken forestland and mountainrock behind it.

Galdalf lives!

"I am no longer Gandalf the Grey," the wizard intoned, his white stillrobes glistening in the day's heat. "Through the Trial of the Balrog I came close to death, but now the sleeper has awakened! I shall now be called ... Gandalf-Muad'Dib, the Mithrandir, the Lisan Al'Maia!"

Hat tip: Literal Barrage