A Politically Correct War

From Douglas Kern:

"Men," growled Colonel Clueless, "there's no denying it: the Guantanamo Bay Ex-Detainee Reunion Party has clearly violated several Baghdad municipal ordinances, what with the mortar attacks and sniper fire and car bombs and all, and serious action will have to be taken."

The other officers at the Battalion staff meeting whispered to each other nervously. A captain's hand shot into the air. "Sir, does this mean we can start shooting bullets now?"

"Absolutely not. I intend to conduct every phase of Operation Sitting Ducks with scrupulous adherence to the letter of the law. And as you know, gentlemen, we are pledged never to bring any harm whatsoever to even a single page of the Holy Koran."

"So…what are we going to do, sir, about the 30-foot wall that the insurgents have built around their compound, composed of nothing except Korans stapled together?"

"First of all," hissed the Colonel, "they are not 'insurgents.' They are 'patriotic Iraqi protestors.' Second of all, their current residence is not a 'compound.' It is a mosque."

"But they've been shooting mortars out of it. They refer to it as a 'compound' in their internal communications."

"It's a mosque! A sacred place worthy of utmost respect! My God, Captain Rambeau, can't you read the sign that they posted for us? In English, no less!"

Read the whole thing. The punchline is priceless.