Provocative Church has a great post up listing various phrases commonly used by Christians that obscure true feelings behind God-talk. It's pretty funny. Here are the first ten:
1. I'll pray about it = NO!
2. We need to pray for so and so = Guess what I just heard?!
3. I'm waiting for God to open some doors = I'm living in my parent's basement.
4. God gave me a word for you = I have advice to help you with your disaster of a life.
5. I'm going to have my quiet time = Leave me the heck alone!
6. God is good = My life sucks.
7. Bless his/her heart = What an idiot.
8. I have the gift of discernment = I can judge people without even talking to them.
9. I was having fellowship with them = We had beer and pizza and watched the game instead of going to church.
10. I'm saved by grace, not works = I can do whatever the heck I want.
As I said, it's funny. But it's also disturbing. I've far too often witnessed -- and been on the receiving end of -- weaponized prayer and pastoral care. By that I mean subtle insults and degradations disguised as Christian love. What's worse is when prayer is used to hurt other people -- that's just plain blasphemy, as well as spiritual abuse.
I believe in a God who is holy above all things, and worthy of our adoration more than anything else in this universe. And consequently, I refuse to use him as a prop. And it drives me nuts when others do.
HT: Smart Pastor
UPDATE: In the comments, truevyne points us to this excellent spoof on the Christianese phenomenon:
I have no objection to cultures and groups developing their own jargon. What galls me is the dishonest manipulation of spiritual experience for personal gain.