Friday, January 23, 2009

Hello, Florida Conference Cyberstalker!

Good morning,! How is Lakeland, Florida, headquarters of the Florida Conference of the United Methodist Church?

Here is a picture of the building from which you are reading my blog ever 2-3 hours for the past few weeks.

I've been there. It's a pretty building. It must be nice to work in it.

How am I doing? Thank you for asking! That is so nice. Well, I had a chocolate-covered donut this morning. It was yummy. It was just the right start to the day.

So anyway, I am aware that I am being watched closely by Bishop Whitaker and his henchmen. Perhaps filing that complaint against him upset him.

Be aware that I am also watching you.


Tom Jackson said...

Perhaps they should start using Tor or Vidalia, which would route their HTTP requests through random chains of IP addresses.

Divers and Sundry said...

Well, you can't blame them for wanting to keep up with what you're saying about them, I guess.

I subscribe to your blog through the rss feed and click through when I want to see if you've had comments or something. If they subscribed to your blog but never clicked through would you still be able to track their access?

You can't go wrong with chocolate-covered donuts. Any time of the day or night. With coffee.

Rev. Jeremy Smith said...

Hahahahha, pwned.

gavin richardson said...

were they those fully covered chocolate doughnuts you get from the grocery store in a mass box or the chocolate doughnut you get from dunkin doughnuts or some local spot with just half covered. i like the later version, can't stand the grocery covered version.. ugh!

John said...

I prefer lemon-filled or Bavarian cream-filled. Those are the best.

I'll take Krispy Kreme over Dunkin, but I'm not one of those fanatics about Krispy Kreme plain donuts.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Sometimes I wish I knew the whole story/.

Sometimes I'm glad I don't know.

You sound like one of those ex-scietology bloggers.

At first I thought you were whacked-out with angry and paranoia.

But the more I read (and read between the lines) the more I think you are in your right mind after all.

Which means that it is our denomination, and not you, which is ill.

I don't know which is true. I just know I'm praying for you.

And I hope you do the same for me.

PS- if you hack my IP, please don't out me. Like you, I have people to protect.

John said...

If I were praying, I would pray for you. But the damn Church keeps on getting in the way of God. I guess that I spent too much time in the Church; too much time letting the Church mediate and direct my relationship with God.

Anonymous said...

I guess that I spent too much time in the Church; too much time letting the Church mediate and direct my relationship with God.

Yeah, it's an occupational hazard, isn't it? I too am praying for you FWIW.

The Ironic Catholic said...

I'm telling you, man, you need to read Kierkegaard. Attack on Christendom seems up your alley these days.

RevAnne said...

John, with you on Krispy Kremes, but I am a plain glazed fanatic, especially when the "Hot Doughnuts Now" sign is up. In my last appointment, there was a KK in the nearest city. We used to call it a sign from God when the sign was lit.
Of course, I also like chocolate glazed, their cinnamon bun thingy, lemon filled, Bavarian cream, even apple-filled on a good day.
Doncha love to watch the little doughnut conveyor belt?
Re your post: It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you. Hope it's a quiet supporter and not a stalker.

rocksalive777 said...

Store-brand chocolate donuts -- ew. But the Kroger-brand cinnamon mini-donuts? They come as close to pre-packaged donuts as anyone can get to a fresh Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut.

Though, the best doughnut I've ever had was from a local shop - blueberry cake, very soft, with just a light glaze.

And, of course, coffee makes all of these better.

Keith Taylor said...


I can honestly testify that I once pulled accross 6 lanes of traffic on Highway 78 in Snellville, GA to get to Krispy Kreme with the neon "Hot Doughnuts Now" sign on. I parted opposed traffic bigger than Moses parting the Red Sea. But, I did get the doughnuts. LOL.

Now I live in a town that doesn't have a Krispy Kreme. I don't know what to do.

Last week I was in Savannah and I saw the statue and memorial to Rev. John Wesley. I stood there in that square looking up at him and you were the first thing that came to my mind. I wondered what he would do about this whole disgusting mess?

Do you still need the services of a Lacky or Henchman? Eric Cartman would have been my best friend in elementary school. LOL.

God Bless You.

doodlebugmom said...

uh oh. I have been known to click on a website, leave the window open and wander off...If my ISP address thingy comes up for hours, you know I am just forgetful, not stalking :D

the reverend mommy said...


That is my very favorite krispy kreme EVER. I go there as oft as I can. They were the first doughnuts my children ever ate. AND you have the attraction of a Home Depot within a easy stroll. You must have lived in my very neighborhood....

JediPastorKen said...


I'm wondering if this person is more an admirer than a stalker. Secretly, they desire to get out and desire to eat of more flavors than simple glazed.

Don't know just a thought.

May the Force Be with you!

trekkerjay said...

mmmm.... a chocolate covered donut..... you're right - it is yummy sounding!! I am a Krispy Kreme person myself.... and for me there is nothing quite like or as good as the plain glazed KK donuts!!

I must admit that my curiosity was raised by the "deleted post".... wondering what it said and if it came from the person you think of as a cyber-stalker....

Divers and Sundry said...

What is it with Krispy Kreme? Gibson's Donuts are my choice. And they have decent coffee, too.