Nick Seafort and the Delusion of a Rule of Life

Back in our pregnancy days, my wife and I were selecting baby names for our child, and I suggested "Nicholas" if it was a boy. This selection was in reference to the main character of the Nicholas Seafort Saga, a series of science fiction novels by David Feintuch. Although the series was never very commercially successful, I long found the character of Nick Seafort to be among the most gripping in fiction. This was a person that I could admire, in spite of his flaws, and I wanted my son to see in the pages of these books a person worthy of his emulation.

Now, when I glance through the pages of the Nick Seafort novels, his world seems so unrealistic. To Nick, nothing is more important than upholding his word and fulfilling his duty. It is these traits, along with a bit of cleverness and luck, that propel him to great fame and glory.

Nick lives by a code, largely framed by his oath of enlistment to the UN Navy and the Naval Code of Regulations. He would rather die than break a letter of them. People, especially troubled young men, gravitate toward him as they desire to become like him (much to Nick's befuddlement).

I'm no Nick Seafort, but my wife has told me that I'm rather similar in that I live by a set of rules; a code of conduct and principles. I was never conscious of this trait until my wife asserted that I view the world this way more greatly than anyone else she has ever known, including her own father.

So perhaps the United Methodist Church appealled to me because of its codification of everything in The Book of Discipline. I knew this book backwards and forwards, and assumed it to be the rulebook for Methodist life. Of course, I read enough in the news to know that it was not always followed (e.g. the homosexuality controversy). But I always assumed that those above me, such as my District Superintendent, my DCOM, and the Bishop, would act in good faith to adhere to the Discipline, or at the bare minimum, give lip service to it.

So as I followed the complaint process, I figured that I would greatly inconvenience these overlords as I argued solidly and indisputably that the subjects of the complaints had violated the Discipline. To weasel out of the plain text of the Discipline would require great effort.

I was to be disappointed. When I filed a complaint against my DS, Bishop Whitaker simply refused to process it. And so, as his actions were contrary to the Discipline (among other charges), I filed a complaint against him to Bishop Ward. In doing so, I provided a five-page single-spaced argument with numerous citations from the Discipline about how Whitaker had violated the Discipline. Ward responded in a single sentence that she found no violation of the Discipline. When I pressed her via e-mail to explain, citing the Discipline, how I was wrong, she simply refused.

My assumption that senior Methodist officials would give even a whit as to the regulations of the Discipline was completely false. I had lived by a code, but found that others did not.

I found that one cannot appeal to the law to a person who has no regard for it; one cannot appeal to righteousness to someone who has no conscience. So I dropped the matter, realizing that it was futile to continue.

In a more realistic novel, Nick Seafort's sense of honor, adherence to his word, and obedience to Naval regulations would have gotten him booted out of the Navy in disgrace, if not killed.

That's why I'm no longer sure that I want any future son to be named Nicholas. I wouldn't want him to read the novels and think that a life of honor and integrity has any future. Nick Seafort, by his own example and leadership, encouraged people to become greater, more noble men and women. But if set in our own world and not a fictive one, Nick would have been found dead in a corridor with a knife in his back.

I don't think that I want a son of mine to end up that way. I don't think that I want my son to be a sucker. Like his old man.

I want him to grow up cunning and crafty. I want him to know when to tell the truth and when to lie through his teeth. And I want him to value his own security and that of his family above anything else.

Will Deuel on the UMC Candidacy Process

UMC ordination candidate Will Deuel cuts loose on the process whereby the UMC selects ordained ministers:

I have incurred tremendous debt and uprooted my family to attend seminary. In the middle of seminary my family moved again so that I could serve a student appointment. We moved a third time when I graduated for my commissioning appointment. I have attended the required Residence in Ministry sessions in which I have sat through lectures (some for a second or third time) that were often boring or ill-prepared. And I have gladly accepted the itinerant system of pastoral appointment. I attended Sexual Ethics and Boundary training twice: once on campus at Eden after being informed by the Conference that said training was acceptable, and once at IGRC headquarters after they rescinded their word without even informing us. We were given nasty letters threatening action if we did not attend the next upcoming workshop. I once was informed that the Board of Ordained Ministry lost my psychological evaluation. (Yeah, all that confidential information? Not safeguarded at all.)

And that's just one paragraph. Will has sent this post on to his Bishop, which will, in my experience, hurt his chances of ordination. I don't know if it will end his candidacy, as he does not name names (as I did), but it certainly can't help him. However, I think that Will's intent was to gain the healing and clarity that comes from speaking truth to power. I wish him the best, as he is a man committed to what Christianity is supposed to be all about.

Read all of Will's post, which he summarizes as saying "The Board of Ordained Ministry has not created a pathway to ordination, it has created an obstacle course."

This is an important fact for all candidates for the ordained ministry (and those considering entering it) to know about: candidacy is more about hazing than it is about preparation. That's why Will's "obstacle course" metaphor is spot-on.

You don't think that the Conference actually "loses" all of the paperwork you send it, like the psychological reports and references? No, of course not. They throw them away and make the candidate check in to see if they were received and re-send them when they were not. Conference and District staffs are not that incompetent.

Will and I have both written about the various stumbling blocks that are thrown in the path of candidates. These frustrate candidates so that many self-select out of the system, and the remaining are ordained. The UMC candidacy system is not a spiritual formation process, it's a test of willpower and a willingness to take abuse.

I'll admit this: I'd be hard pressed to come up with a better system that does not result in a superfluous number of people being placed under guaranteed appointment in a shrinking system.

I do recognize that, in spite of how it all ended for me, there is nothing particularly evil about the candidacy process. It was simply used as a weapon against me by evil men and women. I figured out that the system was hazing-based early on. And I was quite willing to endure the hazing and follow all orders so as long as those in authority over me acted in good faith and and adhered to the Discipline.

Further thoughts by Craig Adams (a man who, in my experience, takes holiness very seriously), John Meunier, and a discussion at The Methoblog.

Hello, Florida Conference Cyberstalker!

Good morning, 65.32.43.217! How is Lakeland, Florida, headquarters of the Florida Conference of the United Methodist Church?

Here is a picture of the building from which you are reading my blog ever 2-3 hours for the past few weeks.

I've been there. It's a pretty building. It must be nice to work in it.

How am I doing? Thank you for asking! That is so nice. Well, I had a chocolate-covered donut this morning. It was yummy. It was just the right start to the day.

So anyway, I am aware that I am being watched closely by Bishop Whitaker and his henchmen. Perhaps filing that complaint against him upset him.

Be aware that I am also watching you.

My Escape from the Cult of the United Methodist Church

"Wait -- did he just say 'cult'?"

Yes, and this is an inflammatory term. Permit me to explain:

Over the past several months as I have seen my religious (and other) world turned upside down, I read and heard various accounts of people who had escaped religious groups that are popularly known as cults, such as Jim Jones' People's Temple and the Jehovah's Witnesses, and I heard them speak thoughts that were strikingly similar to my own. And I wondered why.

I have come to realize that among religions, there is no sharp, hard line between cult and non-cult. Rather, cults are religions which display particular exploitative and manipulative tendencies in far greater prevalence than these tendencies may be found in non-cult religions, but that these tendencies may still be found in those religions not widely thought of as cults.

So when I say that I have escaped/am escaping from the cult of the United Methodist Church, I am referring to particular exploitative and manipulative behaviors that I found among some leaders that I encountered in the UMC.

1. The abuse of spiritual authority for personal power. I've mentioned this before, but on several occasions, I have heard a person in a formal (or self-appointed) position of spiritual mentor or leader put on some (fake) kindly smile and express "concerns" about my "need for spiritual maturity", particularly when I'm in some sort of disagreement with this person. No argument, no reason, no logic -- just the weaponization of the language of pastoral care and spiritual leadership as a tool to gain advantage in an interpersonal conflict. There are times when someone is trying to be a pastor to you, and there are times when someone is trying to manipulate you. And I think that you know the difference.

2. The call for enormous sacrifice of time and money. When I think about how much money I have poured down the hole of ministry in the past three and a half years -- lost income, seminary costs, candidacy costs -- wow. Not to speak about all of the time that I spent occupied in church, candidacy assignments, and schoolwork. Why, just the weeks I poured into those now-useless commissioning essays....Well, you get my point. In terms of time and money, I have wasted the past three and a half years and all of the money that Katherine and I could have earned, rather than spent, with them. I could have learned real skills, like MS Excel, instead of pointless ones, like NT Greek. All of this at the call of the UMC, which exploited me in terms of labor and money, and has now thrown me away like a used Kleenex. Now that I have nothing left to be exploited, I now find myself quite disposable. If you think about it, it's not that different from time spent taking Scientology courses and paying a lot of money in order to become an Operating Thetan. Because right now all of the books that I have read in seminary are as useful as a stack of badly-written L. Ron Hubbard novels.

3. Social isolation from outsiders. This is not something that the UMC pushes directly, but is the inevitable result of serious involvement in the UMC as a layperson, or candidacy for the ordained ministry. I remember very clearly the day I decided to give up playing role-playing games because I needed to become more involved in church. That, and when I quit my job before entering seminary, is when I cut off my ties from the non-Christian world. And in seminary, I never had time to get back into gaming because school and church devoured all of my time, and therefore cut me off from outsiders. For almost all of seminary, I did not know socially a single non-Christian, and very few non-Methodists.

And now that the UMC has thrown me out, I find myself completely alone. The connections with non-Christians that I had before are gone. Socially speaking, I'm now starting over completely from scratch. And since I'm too old to game and don't remember how, I have no idea how to even get started. Thanks, UMC!

4. No accountability for leaders. The Bishop did not even pretend to make an investigation or question my DS about my allegations, or even verify from my old PPRC chair about what I said happened at my church. The Discipline -- the book of Methodist law -- is just for show.

There is, however, brutal accountability for those who question the officers of the cult. Again, there was no effort by the DCOM to pretend that I was facing anything other than pure retaliation.

Come to think of it, the Bishop may actually be pleased if I told everyone here on the blog about everything that happened, and named names. Maybe by obliterating a candidate with a blog he was sending a message to anyone who might question the leaders of the cult. I mean, realistically, what consequences could he actually face? Please don't quote the Discipline in response. For the powerful, it's nothing more than a paperweight.

There were not, however, any signs of ritualized sexual exploitation, suicide pacts, criminality, imminent doomsday predictions, or statements of exclusivity (e.g. "Non-UMs go to Hell") in the United Methodist Church. And the behaviors that I describe above were not pervasive or universal. So it cannot be said that the UMC is comparable to, let us say, the Children of God or Aum Shinrikyo.

What I mean to say is this: the activities, traits, and behaviors that destroy people's lives in the most obvious cults are not shielded from mainstream Christian denominations by some mystical firewall. These behaviors, if unnoticed and unstopped, can creep into the blandest of churches.

That's because religions, cult and non-cult alike, are filled with people. And people abuse, manipulate, and exploit others if they are not accountable. That's just the sort of creatures that we are. That's why the United Methodist Church is just as capable of destroying lives as any other group -- and will, if the abuse of power and the power to abuse are unstopped.

I Am No Longer a Candidate for the Ordained Ministry in the United Methodist Church

Today, the District Committee on the Ordained Ministry terminated my candidacy for the ordained ministry.

They did so explicitly in retaliation for my reporting of the corrupt activities of my District Superintendent.

In fact, it's amazing how brazen they were their reasoning. They didn't even pretend to be acting as Christians. They didn't hide their rationale. Nor did they, or the District Superintendent, dispute a single detail of my allegations against the DS.

It was all about power and protecting the institution from criticism.

So, three and a half years of my life, hundreds and thousands of dollars, and enormous efforts by me and my family are now poured down the drain because of shameless corruption in the Church.

I thought about writing on this blog everything that the District Superintendent did, and the resulting cover-up by the Bishop, but I have relatives in the UMC. And they have asked that I not name names or go into detail on my blog because they fear retaliation. And given the mafia tactics that I have seen in the Church, this does not strike me as an unreasonable fear.

"I have altered our deal. Pray that I do not alter it any further."

For some reason, this Robot Chicken video made me immediately think of the UMC candidacy process.

[Video Link]

Except, you know, for the last part when Vader is reasonable and consistent.

The Simpsons on Methodism

I gotta find a clip of this, but in the mean time, Mary Jacobs has a transcript.

Vows of Ordination and Change in the UMC

This is something that I've been thinking about for a while as it pertains to the homosexuality debate within the United Methodist Church:

Recently, we discussed how candidates for the ordained ministry take vows to support the doctrine, Discipline, and liturgy of the UMC while those same candidates oppose categorizing homosexual behavior as sinful. Jayson Dobney argued that candidates should essentially lie in order to get into the system, so that the system can be changed. He justifies this deception under Jesus's command to pay taxes to Caesar that which he was due.

My commentors have unanimously (thus far) rejected this deception as a distortion of the gospel. I agree.

Here's the problem with our conclusion:

In 1956, the General Conference of the Methodist Church authorized the ordination of women. This change did not some suddenly, but after many years of reflection, study, and debate. Many clergymen advocated this change long before it was passed by General Conference.

Now let's say that it's 1954, and a candidate for the ordained ministry takes his vows as an elder in full connection. He promises to uphold the doctrine, Discipline, and liturgy of the UMC. But he advocates the ordination of women.

1. By doing so, is he not violating his vow to uphold the Discipline?

2. And how would this clergyman be any different from a candidate today advocating the normalization of homosexual behavior, and yet pledging to uphold the Discipline?

3. And how can the UMC make changes in the discipline (e.g. the ordination of women, racial desegregation of churches), whether good or ill, if they are not allowed to oppose the Discipline, without violating their vows of ordination?

Render Unto Caesar

Jayson Dobney argues that Jesus' command to pay taxes to the Roman state can be used to justify taking ordination vows that one does not fully support:

The other night I had dinner with a close friend who is in the ordination process. She is preparing for a meeting with her Board of Ordained Ministry and shared with me her struggles with taking the vows necessary to become ordained. Her struggle, as I have heard from others in the ordination track, is how she can take these vows, while at the same time remaining authentic to her own faith and her role to seek justice for all of God's people.

[snip]

As we talked about what it meant to stay in the United Methodist church and take different paths, it reminded me of the story in the Gospels where Jesus is confronted with the question about whether his followers should pay taxes to the Roman government. Implicit in the question, is that by paying taxes, they were participating in the unjust actions of the institution of the state. His response was to Give to Caesar what was Ceasar's and to give to God what was God's.

As a gay man, I see the United Methodist church as another unjust institution. These vows that we are compelled to take to be a member or to become ordained are the price we must pay to be a part of this system. It is the tax. We give to the United Methodist Church that which is of the United Methodist Church - empty, hollow words. At the same time, we give to God our hearts and our lives, including our work that requires us to work within the unjust sytem of the United Methodist church so that someday we will have justice for All People.

I've written previously on the subject here.

Dressing Up

For Halloween I shall dress up as a Methodist.

Describe my costume.

Question of the Day

Who would win a mud wrestling competition between Bishop Joseph Sprague and Bishop Will Willimon?

A Novel Approach to Writing Charge Conference Reports

Put them in the form of haikus.

I hope that Christopher Gudger-Raines' District Secretary has a good sense of humor.

Via John Meunier

Fundraising Idea for the Methoblogosphere

Well, since no one was really keen on my idea of a Methoblog swimsuit issue, I'd like to propose an alternative.

Recently, Travis Fessler of Florence, Kentucky broke a world record for holding the most number of Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches in his mouth: 11.


[Video Link]

After observing a number of Methodist potlucks and that the UMC is growing as a measure of gross tonnage, I think that we can do better than eleven. And with the publicity, we can raise money for valuable causes, like the Second Life mission and some decent clothes for Gavin Richardson.

Which Methoblogger do you think can hold the most number of Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches in his or her mouth?
	John Meunier
	Will Deuel
	Richard Hall
	Beth Quick
	Jeremy Smith
	Theresa Coleman
	Robert Schnase
	Amy Forbus
	Allan Bevere
	Shane Raynor
pollcode.com free polls

Hat tip to J-Walk Blog via Neatorama

Caption Contest

Previous contest winner

WINNER: Will Deuel: I already did, and they lost it.

How Would Star Wars Be Different If George Lucas Was a Methodist?

• Luke Skywalker's Jedi training would take twelve years, not one.
  
  
• Yoda would be considered a comparatively young Jedi.



• The Empire would have a publicly stated and supported set of very progressive Social Principles, which it would then ignore.
  
  
• Some Jedi would not believe in the Force, or would suggest that it was only a socially-constructed reality.

Add your own in the comments.

God Owns the Entire World = Government Owns the Entire World

Shane Raynor is discussing the recent statement by the UMC General Board of Church and Society on the American financial crisis. He questions the GBCS' causal link between health care costs and the credit shortage, but I'm more curious about the conclusion of the document:

The financial bubble has burst. Corporate greed must be replaced by the biblical mandate of stewardship. All we have is ours “on loan” from God to be used for good in this world. John Wesley’s mandate to “do no harm” is violated when we prey on the vulnerable.

The Administration and Congress must devise legislation that embraces our whole society. Let’s pray our elected officials act with wisdom in this crisis. Please contact your Members of Congress to insist they devise a just and equitable response to the financial crisis.

As I've previously written about the Biblical view of property rights, all the earth is indeed God's, but that is not a propertarian basis for government taking "measures that would reduce the concentration of wealth in the hands of a few." God has the sovereign right to redistribute property, but the GBCS does not provide a sound argument that government may do so.

Performance Enhanced Video Games

I've only recently discovered the great blog Ironic Sans, which is a list of various, outside-the-box ideas by David Friedman. Great, great stuff, like this suggestion: sports-themed video games that have a steroid-enhanced mode.

Personally, I'd like to see a video game of the ordination process. Probably as a first-person shooter, since that's my preference in video games anyway.

The UMC Mission in Second Life

Our group of church planters in Second Life is making substantial progress at building a mission there. We're getting very close to formally incorporating, setting up a board of directors, and starting a bank account under the auspices of the North Georgia Annual Conference. There will be an IRL meeting next week in Atlanta to discuss these plans. If you're in the Atlanta area and want to attend, let me know and I'll hook you up.

Meanwhile, you can keep track of our progress on the blog Second Life Methodist.

UMC School Gets Top Ranking in List of Party Schools

Congratulations to Randolph-Macon College, a United Methodist-affiliated who claimed the #6 position in the Princeton Review's list of top party schools in the country.

Really, the University Senate should evaluate and rank UMC seminaries based on party-ness.

Now, your homework assignment, dear readers: devise a drinking game appropriate for United Methodists.

Question of the Day

General Conference is now over. What are your impressions? Are you pleased or displeased with the results?